in conversation

The other day, when he thought he's getting late while coming to pick me up:

vin: if I get late, wait RIGHT there, ok?

me: of course I'll wait. where will I go?

vin: no. don't go with anyone else. i WILL come to get you.

------------------------

The other evening, when I was waiting for a friend at the station, a random man who was passing by paused, looked at me, did a double-take and said "boy! you're really beautiful!" and walked on before i could react or say thanks.

when I got home, I mentioned this to vin.

In typical filmy style, his response:

"aaj se tumhara college jaana bandh!"

-----------------------

We debated this morning about how V has no sense of order and leaves his things lying around the house.

In the evening, there are dollar bills lying on the center table. I didn't leave them there. So I turn to Vin, raise an eyebrow, and accusingly say

"what are these dollar bills doing here?"

the man, having learned a LOT in the past four years looks at me and says
"oh that's for later in the evening. when you start stripping?"

p.s.: clarifications.

No, I do not go off with random people at train stations.

and no, I do not strip later in the evenings. any evenings. just saying.

mindless!

vin and i share differing tastes in ice cream flavors. i like only the dark choc types. and while he likes almost all ice creams, he's not so fond of the chocolate ones. *this, of course, doesn't mean he won't eat it.*

y'day post dinner, we were pigging out on a large tub of dark choc ice cream. one that he got ESP for me, apparently.

he was eating it with a rather morose expression on his face. which prompted me to ask "why so serious?"

vin: this is REALLY good, you know? i didn't know i liked it.

me: i know. mast hai na?! but what's with the sad face?

slight pause while he contemplated being honest with me.

vin: you had to 'tell' me i like it. i have no mind of my own!

summer? really...?

so... we've settled in.
a little.

lots of boxes that still need to be unpacked.
but that's ok.
it IS feeling a bit like home already. even with the boxes.

and of course, the wise galadriel... who is obsessive compulsive about cleaning visits me this weekend. *wheeee!!!!* i think i shall make use of her OCD and let HER unpack the rest for me. as a house-warming gift? and hopefully, she'll make us sambhar this time.

anywhoo... the story so far... for those of you who don't know and would like to know *you would, wouldn't you?* is that we've shifted to a little hamlet in NY from a little bigger hamlet in texas. and summers - the way i knew them - have now ceased to exist. from a 100+, we're now living in temps that barely touch the 50s in summer. and i'm loving it!
the ppl are lovely, our apartment's really nice... and the place is gorgeous. and since words really don't do justice to it, i shall leave you guys with a few pics. all clicked near the new house.

the lake... vin's work-place is on the banks of this one...

one of the many mountains along the way...

one of my personal fave pics... :D
so.. that's that... shall see you guys soon. and get back to regular programming real soon.

p.s.: you may want to click on pics to see them without my background messing them up.

biker chic

on the way back home from a lovely weekend at the beach, a group of bikers pass us... conversation, automatically, veers to bikers. and my fascination for the breed.

me: would be SO kewl if you had one of those bikes, no?
vin: for you, you mean?
me: of course! i already have a tattoo, leather boots, jacket and an 'i-give-a-fuck' attitude. i almost qualify for being one of them!
vin: hmm... the pillion seat is called a bitch seat.
you TOTALLY qualify for that!

too much love is happening

me: u know suruchi has ALREADY bought the cutting glasses i was telling ma to pick for us. WITH the stand!
vin: you had told her also?
me: i didn't tell her! she got it last week only. BEFORE i thought of it!
vin: then why did she buy them?
me: i dunno. telepathy. she thought i'd want them! that is JUST so sweet na!

pause.

vin: i'm even MORE scared of her now. this is sweet, but it's so scary!! how did she know!
me: she knew. bas! and i think it's damn sweet!

after abt 5 mins of thoughtful consideration, while i chomp down on pizza, the man makes a puppy face, looks extremely forlorn... and says...

you know... i can never love you that much.

for 'better' or for 'worse'?

after a really genuine attempt at seizing the cheese fries out of vin's hand... i failed. i don't take that very nicely - not winning, that is. so i did what i do best. i used the claws.
and then, i did what i do next best. i made puppy faces, so he won't get too bugged. *yeah, that still works - depending on the seriousness of the damage.*

he looks at the gash, then at me. and quips:
"thank god you're the better half. wonder WHAT would happen if you were the worse."

age old issues?

fri evng... chicken, beer and the 70s show...
i, of course, take it upon myself to make it trivia time!

me: *referring to ashton kutcher* heard of how he won over CNN on twitter?
vin: eh? no. cnn, the channel?
so i tell him in as great detail as i can r'ber.
me: ... and demi moore said...
vin: why was she commenting? who asked her?
me: huh? she's his wife no? she was doing wifely thing by saying...
vin: WHAT?? WTF??? really???
me: hehehe.. this is hilarious...!! u didn't know!? :D
vin: of course not! why would i... but really??
me: what're u so surprised for?
vin: she's a LOT older than him... no?
me: hahaa... you also like older women. and she's hot.
*still in shock abt kutcher's marital status*
vin: huh?? yeah.. but old is not... not that old... around your age is okay.

ouch! really. ouch!
*no, the rest of the conversation cannot be blogged*

nuggets of vin-dom

uttered in the past week. by the other half, of course.

how and why he always wanted to get married:
"i wanted to get married when i was in 3rd standard.
i thought if i get married, i won't have to study."
*this from someone doing his PhD... 2 years post marriage!!!*

on DDDs gtalk mesg of "eh kabootar, khau kya terko?"
"she should cut an album...
title it the eh kabootar series..."
*and then he went on to elaborate songs, customising them to fit the album. more on this here on her space.*

"we won't pay galadriel for singing. we won't tell her we're recording.
we'll requeshht her to sing for us... and discreetly record while she's singing.
that way, we won't have to pay her!
hee hee."
*AND, they think i won't tell her!*

on waking me up at 6.00 am every morng and finding me rather slow & grumpy. while he's rather alive and alert!
"this suits us perfectly. our IQs are at an equal.
and u don't have comebacks for everything i say!"

to his mom who asked him to stop troubling me:
"what other work do i have to do?"

on a suggestion from dewdrop that we call our dog "item"
"then what do we call her?"

on galadriel's suggestion that we call our dog "matar paneer"
"erm... what if we accidentally eat him someday?"

on him preferring dewdrop over suruchi as his moral support:
"i know suruchi would be more on my side if ever the need were to arise.
but i can't be scared of my moral support no?"
*i think dewdrop and he are hiding the fact that they're related*

on mail:
"i'll get late today... say 6/6.30?"
*he comes home EVERYDAY after 7. and this was late...?*

this sunday - when he dodged me around the chair saying "kabaddi kabaddi..." touched me and ran to the other corner saying "i got the entire team out... by myself!"
me: you DO know i can blog this, eh?
vin: you won't. if you do, then everybody will know you're not the only mad person here!
*well well... :D*

all i want is...

a couple days back, dewdrop asked me whether vin was the exact opposite of what i wanted in a guy.
and then we spotted some shiny blue boots and ran into a DM store. and the shiny blue boots had really icky plastic/rubber BEIGE soles... EWWW... yeah, i
know! can't even find decent footwear these days. sigh!

but well, since i didnt answer her, and i KNOW she reads this blog, i shall do it here.
if you'd asked me 10 years back, as to what i wanted in a guy, i'd say:
:: good looking. as well as well dressed.
:: intelligent.
:: good sense of humor
:: should speak GOOD english. and hindi. *i was a complete sucker for people who speak well. more so, in english. u know when mugdha godse says to piggy chops in fashion "tum small town girls ki problem kya hai? achchi english mein maang lo... kuch bhi de doge?" yeah, i used to be somewhat like that... though not that daft. i think!*
:: should be able to "understand" me. by this, i mostly meant it literally. that he should understand what i speak.
yeah, shallow i was. and condescending.

if u had asked me about 5 years back, i'd say
:: the ability to make me laugh. with him, not AT him *which happened a lot*. also, without either of us having to try too hard.
:: no potbelly, no moustache, no beard... well, not that i wanted adonis... but yeah, if we stand together, he shouldn't look like i'm trying to get back at my parents for something. if i were someone of fewer words, i'd say "presentable". but apparently, i'm not.
:: good conversation skills. the ability to "hold" a conversation. and make me seem interested. very difficult, given that i was mostly self absorbed. but that i know now... then it was amazing if a guy could get me to speak to him on topics other than work.
:: had to be able to drive a car. don't ask me why. but this WAS a valid, legit criteria.
:: should not be over-possessive and insist on me not talking to my friends bcoz they were guys. well. i knew guys like this. and i realized i did not want them! :D
:: did not have an ex gurlfriend who would then make it the purpose of her life to mail me and tell me that i had stolen her boyfriend. yes, i knew women like this too. and no, i could do without the drama. really.

but all of that changed over time... as did i. i lost some of my extreme superiority complex *lost the extreme bit, i think*. and i became a lot more human. and realized that it was okay to give people a chance. sometimes.

and then, i met vin. and i realized that i COULD indeed get a guy who undoubtedly is in a much higher league than i was. or would ever be. he was what i hoped to be, someday. of course, he doesn't know this. and i wouldn't have ever agreed to it, but still. this is confession time. and i don't lie on this space. i merely evade the truth when necessary ;)

but it was then, after meeting him, that i "knew" that as long as my guy:
:: was passionate about his work and wasn't working coz he "had to"...
:: understood that respect had to be earned. by both of us....
:: knew what he wanted. from himself. from me. from life...
:: was secure. with himself. with me. with "us"....
:: could make me smile simply by "being there"...
:: realized the importance of accepting me the way i was and giving me my time & space....
:: could hold a conversation. or make me feel comfortable with his silence...
:: loved me. enough to want me for an entire lifetime...
nothing else really mattered.

of course, factors like he didn't have a potbelly, moustache or beard, wasn't an alcoholic, spoke good english, did not wear rubber chappals on a date, knew his bollywood films... DID help his case. quite a bit.
and of course, so did his dimples!

to answer dewdrop... he may not have been what i wanted at 18. but he was - and is - everything i'll ever need. :)

of extra marital sex...

another arbit snippet of conversation. bcoz what is this blog, if not a public display of the inane conversations me & mine keep having.

or, the way i see it, our new-found logic of why ppl have extra marital affairs/sex.

vin: u know, the male population is far more than the female?
me: stale data. so?
vin: hehe... wonder what happens to all the single men...
me: what happens bole toh?
vin: as in, if all the women get married, whom do these men end up with?
me: oh.. that! they probably just have sex with the married women.

home humor

the random conversations over the past week or so that i couldn't blog. but i said i would. my 'vishesh tippani's' in blue.

seeing me typing furiously at the comp. and smiling to myself...
vin: what's keeping u busy?
me: baby-shower planning hpng. for blog-pals.
vin: who had a baby now?
me: had no... will have. and this'll be a surprise for them. so kewl na?!
vin: baby-shower without baby. hehee...

SIGH!
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at the grocery store.
me: u want shampoo?
vin: no.
me: hain? dude, the last time u bought shampoo was almost a year ago, no? how come u're still using it?
vin: bcoz i use ur shampoo! :P

he then runs away gleefully to ice cream isle. while i stand trying to decide between extra conditioning or usual.
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in d morng, before he leaves...
me: take ur keys.
vin: y? won't u open the door?
me: i can't see out the darned peep-hole. so i don't open the door.
vin: i'll hoot like this. *standing OUTside the door and hooting like an owl!* then u'll know it's me!

he's very bright no, my man?
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me: poo might come over in july.
vin: *with a puppy face* u keep saying x will come, y will come, z will come. nobody actually ends up coming.

how much u gurls break his heart!
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vin: tell suruchi to get us disney movie tickets no? *she works at disney*
me: why don't you tell her?
vin: hehe... what if she yells at me?!

oh, boy! can't argue here. even i'm scared of her. :(
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me: ur galadriel is going to start a porn blog.
vin: wow! so kewl!!
pauses. thinks.
where will she get the content from...?

he'll get along so well with 'the boss'. sigh! what have i gotten myself into?

ok, folks... see u around... pending tag coming up after suruchi writes me a 250th post. if she doesn't write in by monday, there will be no celebration. :(

aww.../ DAMN!!!

suma tagged me here to write 10 things i hate about men.
honestly, i don't really 'hate' anything. nothing that's ToM at least. but suma, being her kind self, allows me to spice it up!
so, instead of generalizing this and writing about things i hate about men & mankind... i shall write about 5 things that really annoy me about d man i live with! and 5 things i really like. yeah, yeah, about living with him.

so off i go
things that make me go "DAMN!!!"
i. the mess: u don't have to be supremely intelligent or get your PhD to keep your clothes back where they came from or dump them in, and i mean, IN the laundry basket. same for keeping the plates in the sink, socks in the laundry basket, toothbrush(es) back in d holder and so on. u get the drift? and pls! don't put the darned wet towel on the bed!

ii. multi-tasking. or the lack of it: why on earth can't u chat with 3 friends, look for jobs on 2 sites, read blogs, comment on blogs, check mail, talk to me, have breakfast, work on assignment, watch t.v. and play boggle simultaneously?

iii. driving: getting mad at me while "teaching" me to drive doesn't help either of us. remember that "understanding" clause that every girl has on her wish-list for a man? time to put it to use. "understand" that i'm bound to do stupid things. if i didn't, i wouldn't still be learning, would i? i'd be a pro. and probably be zooming around instead of writing this. and no, only because i know the theory perfectly, doesn't mean i am good with practicals. u should know - i'm theoretically perfect. at everything!

iv. cooking: i KNOW u cook well. u taught me, r'ber? but i would really appreciate if you restrict this to weekend breakfasts ONLY. clearing up is not my favorite chore. if it were, we'd get a dog.

v. dishes: about that weekend breakfast? u know, it's REALLY not mandatory to use every utensil in the house to make breakfast. just because i like doing dishes doesn't mean i want to wash them all on the weekends!

now, to things that i go "aww..." about.
vi. cooking: i absolutely LOVE the initiative. most men i know think that if their wives are unemployed, they "should" cook. not u! makes me feel proud of u. till i see the mess, at least! :) also, more than anything, i LOVE the way u like anything i cook! i know it can't all be good. but u seem to actually like it. makes me want to cook.

vii. driving: i love the way u don't stereotype women as bad drivers bcoz ur wife is so disinclined towards driving well!

viii. in sickness & in health: maybe i hadn't ever fallen ill coz it's no fun to be ill and alone. it's reassuring that u're there. and u'll take care of me when i'm not feeling well. physically or emotionally.

ix. connectivity: never told u this, but i really appreciate how "free, hi-speed internet" featured so very high on ur list when we were apartment hunting. esp since u knew u weren't going to get to use it.

x. free entertainment: almost all my friends think that YOU get free entertainment. little do they know how entertaining you can be. i'm never bored when u're home. be it conversations, impromptu jigs or ur singing... very appreciated!

there! that's it! now, i shall run & hide and hope V doesn't read any of this! while u out there... go, do the tag if u wish! give it ur own twist... or do the original if u wish.

i ate it all...!?

a mail interchange between me & mine.. this noon. it's extremely amusing, to me. and i HAD to post it here. so i could always r'ber it!
the lines are verbatim. from the mails.

mail 1:
vin: lunch is awesome....:)
did u give me all of it or u kept some...
reply:
me: gave u all of it. enjoy! :) *i usually cook dinner*
reply-2-reply:
vin: :(.. we dont have anythin to eat now...??

P.S.
i would like to clarify that we DO have food to eat. or rather, we will. once i stop blogging, get off my fat a$@# and cook!

it's about d money, honey!

me: u know what... mishra bought me today. on facebook. for $571.
vin: he did what?
me: bought me! and then mailed me saying "i've bought u. now u have to call me 'master'".
vin: hehee
me: what hehehe? moron! and u're okay that he bought me?
vin: hmm... yeah. he knows u well enough. but how can he buy u?
me: there's some app on facebook that lets u buy & sell frenz. u're okay with guys buying ur wife???
vin: arre? u shud be flattered he wants to buy u after knowing u so well!
me: *stunned into silence. thinking "he shall pay for this later* achcha?
vin: let's do one thing. let's tell him that when he has to return u, he pays me $1000.
me: what?
vin: *obviously very pleased with himself* yeah, return policy! buy at own risk. return for $1000.
me: who will pay whom here..?
vin: HE will pay ME when he wants to return u. that is why it's a return policy. also, we're sure to earn the $1000, hai na!?

until... umm... i do?

WARNING: this is a long piece. probably the longest i've written so far. so if u aren't much of a reader, don't venture further.

fuzzy tagged me to blog about d story of how we got engaged. V & i, not fuzzy and i. heavens sake! what will u think of next!

i have been reading these engagement stories while blog-surfing... and was hoping i don't get tagged. couple of reasons for that.
a. i've had, what i refer to, a boring arranged marriage.
b. i don't know how to blog abt something so personal.
but i like fuzzy and i don't refuse tags from ppl i like :D

so.

circa OCT 2005.
my folks had been hankering after me quite a bit to get hitched. actly, just my mom. dad cudn't care less. or at least, he didn't bring it up conversationally, like my mom! and this hankering gained momentum after my dear elder bro tied the knot in Aug. i was granted protection till then. coz whenever anybody asked me "so, when're u tying the knot? i'd smile and say "he's elder to me. so, after him" *yeah, kewl excuse, huh?!* but then, he finally got hitched. and then, i had no excuse. cudn't use the "i need to find my calling" excuse anymore - i sold ringtones, didn't i?! and yeah, i did love my job.

in d meanwhile, i gallivanted off to goa with 2 other mad women. *THIS is sed in a good mad way*. ideally, i would've liked to stay away from home at this point of time coz my ma wud've nagged me silly over the sun-burn. *YES. it was bad. i was a deep-dark chocolate fudge brownie color.* there was something unsettling abt the nagging this time, tho. instead of the usual "why do u keep doing this? can't u take care of urself? look at u!" it was "did u have to do this NOW!?" hmm... but then, that was the morning, V's folks were coming over to our place. and i, was to be civil. did i understand? uh... ok! their daughter comes home after 2 weeks, and goa...and they want to have company. wotever! but yeah, i usually am obedient, till d time it inconveniences me. this didn't. so i met up & chatted with his folks. like a good gurl, if i may add. in jeans and a tee. and my new deep-dark skin tone.
we went thru pics of his family et al... and oh, did i forget? his ma had bought me my fave kayaani sponge cake! yumm! *yeah yeah, i'm nicer if u bring me food i like!* his ma asked me why i don't keep in touch with him over mails and i surprised myself by saying SURE! *see? u can get me to agree to almost anything!*

but we had incorrect ids. BOTH of us. that is how stoopid we both are! we can't even get ids right! after a couple of futile attempts at trying to mail each other, i receive a mail which says... "mail if u get this!" that was SO my type of mail, that i HAD to reply to it. and i replied in quintessential style of "finally. yes, it's me. i know u. and yeah, got it." and we started mailing each other... general mails. the types u write to long-lost frenz. was probably the first time i was interacting so much with someone but genuinely STILL had no idea what he does for a living. *he's a vet virologist or smthng* most ppl i know don't understand what I did for a living, so i didn't try explaining much to him. i stuck to "i sell RTs."
then, after a couple of weeks, he asked if it's alright if he calls me sometime.. and i casually said "sure". he called me on a saturday morning, and i was in a volvo to pune. watching a trashy movie called "suryanvanshi". our conversation went like this:
V: u busy?
me: in bus. movie hpng. can't hear u.
V: which one?
me: *gosh! now u want to talk?!* suryavanshi
V: oh, the salman khan one? i've seen it.
i was SO impressed!

we spoke almost weekly post that. on equally inane, but important to us topics. like gandhi, reading, philosophy, life, aspirations, greed blah blah blah. wouldn't have made sense to anyone. but that's wot made it fun!

circa DEC 2005.
he mailed me saying he would be in india in december and we could meet. so i said SURE! let's! afterall, i was going to pune for NYs. so would be easy to catch up. *was a long weekend then*

my folks obviously called up his folks and decided that they were to come over ON NYs. THIS, i was unaware of. and later, seeing HIS expression, i realized so was he! we met a couple of times after that... usually around evenings... was easy to talk to him. and i realized that he WAS actually a very nice guy. very decent, AND very marriageably so. afterall, he he DID clear my triangle test! besides, i already loved his mom! *i know that shudn't be a reason. but heyy, she got me cake?! and home-made yummie brownies.*

how it all actually happened? i don't know. till date, i'm not sure about how i ended up saying yes. he didn't go down on his knees, he didn't confess to undying love, he didn't get me flowers, he didn't say i had really pretty eyes *he DID ask me if i wore false eyelashes, though*, there was no music in d background, there was no sign that he was THE one... no mush, nothing. oh wait! i guess, it was because of all of this that i probably agreed to marrying him. he did nothing that would be expected of someone who was trying to get me to marry him. he was just honest. and himself. and i have always been a sucker for that! alongwith brownies & cake! we were sitting at garden court *that's in pune* having a normal conversation... and he said "so. what do u think of US?" and i smiled and said "sure!" just like that.

at that moment, it seemed inconsequential that i never wanted to leave the country, that i loved my job and didn't want to quit, that i had just verbally committed to someone i barely knew, that i was tricked by my folks into an arranged marriage. at that time the most important thing on my mind was "DAMN! suruchi & vibs don't even know him!" *yeah, i know. my priorities are a tad warped, eh?*
but yes, it just seemed the right thing to do. and i did it. and thankfully, haven't regretted it. we got engaged four days later. in those 4 days, i went back to bbay, informed all concerned that i was getting engaged, fielded reactions/comments, sat down and updated my frenz, came back to pune, bought d rings *we did that together!*, booked d venue AND got engaged. life had never moved so fast for either of us! but as with everything else, life sorted itself out!

and yes, i still rib him that if he doesn't propose to me formally with the reqd flowers & chocs, i may leave him. and he has promised to embarrass me at some point of time in life. i'm actually not one for mush, so i'm hoping he doesn't really do it! shall keep u posted if he does. or umm... maybe not!

p.s.: oh yes, forgot to add - he gets these really cute dimples when he smiles....those helped, too! :)