in conversation... again.

A few days after we moved-in to our current apartment (Yes, we've moved again!), V came to pick me up at the station and wanted to go out for dinner.

V: you want to go straight or you want to go home and then go out.

me: home, please.

V: but... we can go straight for dinner.

me: HOME. i need to pee!

V; the restaurant will have loos, i'm sure.

me: tch. No! Home.

V: why? You need to mark your territory?

---------------------

we had friends over for christmas. one of them was accompanied by her boyfriend. our initial plans were to gang up against the boyfriend (the rest of us v/s him, that is) and pelt him with snowballs.

but of course, there was no snow on christmas day.

to pacify us disappointed souls, vin came up with an alternative:

"there's ice in the freezer. let's hit him with that!!"

-----------------------

we haven't had much time to converse the past couple of weeks.

this morning, i decided to give it a rest and at least have b'fast together. the topic somehow veered to how some men are really hen-pecked. (Yes, I know... we discuss other people over rare conversations. don't judge us!)

vin: sometimes, i really wish i was also hen-pecked.

me: eh?

vin: you're okay with whatever I decide to do. you don't nag me.

me: yeah, i'm the coolest wife you'd ever have found.

vin: but i W.A.N.T. to be henpecked. you refuse to peck me. please peck me?!

------------

in conversation

The other day, when he thought he's getting late while coming to pick me up:

vin: if I get late, wait RIGHT there, ok?

me: of course I'll wait. where will I go?

vin: no. don't go with anyone else. i WILL come to get you.

------------------------

The other evening, when I was waiting for a friend at the station, a random man who was passing by paused, looked at me, did a double-take and said "boy! you're really beautiful!" and walked on before i could react or say thanks.

when I got home, I mentioned this to vin.

In typical filmy style, his response:

"aaj se tumhara college jaana bandh!"

-----------------------

We debated this morning about how V has no sense of order and leaves his things lying around the house.

In the evening, there are dollar bills lying on the center table. I didn't leave them there. So I turn to Vin, raise an eyebrow, and accusingly say

"what are these dollar bills doing here?"

the man, having learned a LOT in the past four years looks at me and says
"oh that's for later in the evening. when you start stripping?"

p.s.: clarifications.

No, I do not go off with random people at train stations.

and no, I do not strip later in the evenings. any evenings. just saying.

of warming up... and liking me.

*edited to add another convo, by public demand.

since nothing exciting is happening in my life - besides on-now, off-now weekends, stalled cars and late night train rides, here's for a couple of the conversations that I can recollect.

we'd gone to get take-out from a newly opened desi restaurant. the lady there, while really sweet and friendly, had a thick manglorean (?) accent. (i cannot place south indian accents - so i could be wrong) she got us our order in a container and asked:

should i warm it for you?

vin looked at her - with an extremely quizzical expression, and went "HUH?"

i realized he was missing the point.

i also realized that asking him there, would not be wise. so I told the lady "i will warm it, thank you"

later, in the car, i looked at vin and said "what happened there?"

he explained:"i thought she's asking "should I VOMIT for you?" and i was like... What?! WHY?! NO...EWWW... HUH?!?! and all that was flashing in my head... till you replied, and i realized what she'd said!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

we were in the car at a red light. the car behind was a little too close for comfort. vin drove ahead a bit. the car behind followed.

vin: get AWAY from me! i do NOT want you so close. me: huh?

vin: the truck. behind. tell him to get away from me. why does he like me so much!

me: maybe it's a girl who likes you.

vin: the truck doesn't look like it's being driven by a chick. it's a guy.

me: then maybe the guy likes me, so he's following us. vin - very seriously- : no, honey. you don't know. nobody other than me likes you.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

whenever we book a rental car, we usually go with enterprise. i've called them on numerous occasions, and ALWAYS it's someone called "chris" who answers the call. whether i call their customer service, their offices - in different locations, or different cities, even - it's always "chris".

so i was mentioning it to Vin that maybe they have an employee name kinda thing going on. where everybody who joins has to call himself "chris".

but, of course, the PhD has wittier explanations

vin: no, no.. nothing you know. it's because this IS a 'chris-tian' country.

run, but you can't hide

vin recently got onto FB. i very promptly went and edited my profile to say "married to..."

but of course, FB wanted a confirmation from vin...

a couple hours later, i get a mail from vin

"FB is asking me to confirm you're my wife. i am not confirming."

later in the evng, when i asked him why... he merrily says i don't want to publicly associate with you. why am i not given the option of "i have nothing to do with her"?

-----------------------------

me: dewey thinks that when she comes over, you'll leave us both at the airport and escape. you won't, right?

vin: i would WANT to, but knowing you, you'll get home before i do. then you'll break my legs and skin me... so i won't be able to run, and i will have no hide.

----------------

p.s.: yes, he's still alive. how else will he pay for his wit?

oh, dear!

me: vin, cut your nails, dude...
vin: no, it's a defense mechanism. i will not cut.
me: defense?? when a deer crosses your path, you'll attack it with ur claws?
vin: not that deer. YOU, dear. this is all for you!

me chatting with a friend this morng, typed "MIAOWWW" in his window instead of deweys.
me to dewey: dude, i just typed your miaow in Ms window and he asked " subah kya maarke baithe ho aaj?"
dewey: tell him "maowjito hai"

again, chatting with dewey... she types a whole lot of sentences. me, who is busy trying to catch snowflakes... doesn't get the drift:
me: eh? what... who ? taiwan??
dewey: haan. taiwan. tum kya behosh hoke abhi uthi ho?

me to vin: nobody loves me.
vin: suruchi ko bolu kya?!

me telling G that when i told my ma abt baby bear, she thought it was a VERY little baby and said "uthaya nahi usko?"
G: tell aunty that if you'd uthao'ed that baby, then her baby wouldn't be here today!

well, that's what we've been upto.

what did u say again...?

it has been proven. my friends are mad. all of them. also, they're REALLY entertaining. so reproducing chats - mostly with permission. suruchi/vibs... i don't need ur permission :P

me: how old is she?
X: 24
me: child marriage!! heyy bhagwaan!!!!
X: arre no, i am actually one year younger
me: what? as compared to...???
X: than my official age.
eh? ever heard of anyone like this?

suruchi: are u allowed to legally keep pubs at home there?
me: PUBS? u mean CUBS, right? well...
typos are an interesting way of life now... :)

A: when're u having kittens, catty?
me: not yet. but will let u know. y the sudden concern?
A: then i'll gift them a yarn of wool.
dewdrop's addition to this conversation:
when they're kittens, they can play with it. once they grow up, u can knit mittens for ur kittens.
conveniently forgetting that I can really not knit. and my kittens will be human!

me: main tumpar book likhungi
J: likho. it will be a bestseller. loyalty mujhe dena
me: ???
uncertain pause.
me: loyalty u have. Royalty, i'll pay u.
hmm.. forgetting R is just not done, is it?

me: arre the n'bours cat - chocolate - stalks me, u know.
A: he must be discussing with his friends over a pint of milk at the cat-bar later... of how there's this hot indian cat who's shifted into the building.
me: yeah right! arre he's scary.
A: poor chocolate. you'd make a great couple, u know... chocolate and rayshma.
me: hahaa... u've lost it!
A: purrfect pair. it'll make a great movie also.
me: ???
A: presenting... a love story of 2 cats, in a world that's gone to the dogs.
me: hahaa! u're gonna make it?
A: yeah. and i'll get pussycat dolls and snoop dogg for the soundtrack.
i should've pitched for digital rights! ;)

i get a mail from J saying "am online, login?" so i do.
me: am so happy u're online! :)
J: 4 minutes.
me: what?
J: i'm online for 4 mins.
WTF!!!

me: i was watching chocolate *refer above* attempt to stalk a bird today.
dewdrop: then what happened?
me: by the time he could move, the bird had flown off. going by his size, he should hunt deer.
dewdrop: hehe... what would u do if he'd caught the bird?
me: well, nothing. what did u think?
dewdrop: you could have snatched the bird from him actually.
okkk....

Vibs: WHERE are the skimpy clothes u are giving me?
me: arre i have to die for u to get them.
Vibs: oh. i thought because u're in london u're giving them away.
me: no no... later. there'll be more till then.
vibs: i'll wait, then.
silence...
me: :(
vibs: not for u to die, idiot!!!
well, anyone who thought otherwise here???

snip-snip

hectic week. snippets for thy info and entertainment. i said some, i heard some... i overheard none. enjoy. coz that's the biz now, innit?

"i'm here to ensure she pitches for business, and not her job"

"is that not your picture?
hain..?? THAT..?? erm... NO. that's priyanka chopra. we have a policy about employee pics."

"i'm going for nemo on ice. you have kids?
erm.. no... but i could borrow some if they're mandatory"

"let's work together in the coming future..."

"never thought we'd bond over trashy hindi film music... but is nice"

"u solved the entire sudoku grid in 23 minutes??"

"u're lucky for us."

"felt the chill. saw some snow. YAY."

"your mp3 player thinks it's damn smart. THAT is the problem"

"either i'll get him to sign. or i'll take his job and sign it for u myself"

"what do i do with THIS? i haven't seen a device that plays this in a really long time"

"this is to bring to your kind notice that i have successfully managed to schedule a meeting for Mo.."
"let me successfully bring to your kind notice that MO has left."

"am listening to amrinder gill..."

"am reviewing dostana & yuvraaj... for pleasure"

"i've lost 2 kgs. i should be back in shape by the time i get home"

"the tattoo will peel off. like a wound." *WTF*

"its really, REALLY nice to be back in touch with you"

"go & blog, bitch!"

"you want katrina's gown?"

"rub neigh banaa di joedi? that's a name, eh?"

"thanks. you have a weekend too"

LOL! yes, you have one too, my friend. :)

humor in daily life...

we had friends staying with us. they were sitting in the living room watching animal planet. some show abt saving some snow fox or some such cute looking animal. i still don't know which animal. i waltzed in mid-way while an australian wild-life enthusiast played with the creature.
me: awww... SO cute!!! what IS he??
H (friend): *giving me a rather surprised, confused look* umm... u think he's cute?
me: of course!! who wouldn't. i've never seen that before though. WHAT is he?
H: they're referred to as "homo sapiens". this one is a white male. australian, to be precise. there are lots of these around, actually. your neighbor? the one you turned up your nose at last evening? he's also the same specie. though not australian. i'm surprised you hadn't 'noticed' one before. esp since i'm one too.

and that was the joke of the weekend. hmph!
and YES, i can identify humans. it was the fox i was asking about.