with equal intensity. don't ask me how that's possible. it just is.
i miss my friends. a little more than i used to. and i still haven't made much of an effort to connect with them. i think i'm just a little too tired to reach out at the moment. and i hope they'll hang on. and be patient with me.
it's strange. how on some days, you want some friend to be there. not just any friend. you want 'a' particular friend on 'a' particular day for no particular reason.
when you start forging new friendships, you crave for the familiarity of the older ones. even while you're still trying to figure out how much you can rely on whom. and you realize that the traits you're looking for, the familiarity you're seeking, will never be found in another. that you have to get acquainted with people with a clean slate. a clear mind. no biases. because when you harbor biases prior to making friends, when you think "oh, that's so like XYZ..." you more often than not end up trying to be friends with the wrong people.
and it's so not worth the effort.