a couple days back, dewdrop asked me whether vin was the exact opposite of what i wanted in a guy.
and then we spotted some shiny blue boots and ran into a DM store. and the shiny blue boots had really icky plastic/rubber BEIGE soles... EWWW... yeah, i
know! can't even find decent footwear these days. sigh!
but well, since i didnt answer her, and i KNOW she reads this blog, i shall do it here.
if you'd asked me 10 years back, as to what i wanted in a guy, i'd say:
:: good looking. as well as well dressed.
:: good sense of humor
:: should speak GOOD english. and hindi. *i was a complete sucker for people who speak well. more so, in english. u know when mugdha godse says to piggy chops in fashion "tum small town girls ki problem kya hai? achchi english mein maang lo... kuch bhi de doge?" yeah, i used to be somewhat like that... though not that daft. i think!*
:: should be able to "understand" me. by this, i mostly meant it literally. that he should understand what i speak.
yeah, shallow i was. and condescending.
if u had asked me about 5 years back, i'd say
:: the ability to make me laugh. with him, not AT him *which happened a lot*. also, without either of us having to try too hard.
:: no potbelly, no moustache, no beard... well, not that i wanted adonis... but yeah, if we stand together, he shouldn't look like i'm trying to get back at my parents for something. if i were someone of fewer words, i'd say "presentable". but apparently, i'm not.
:: good conversation skills. the ability to "hold" a conversation. and make me seem interested. very difficult, given that i was mostly self absorbed. but that i know now... then it was amazing if a guy could get me to speak to him on topics other than work.
:: had to be able to drive a car. don't ask me why. but this WAS a valid, legit criteria.
:: should not be over-possessive and insist on me not talking to my friends bcoz they were guys. well. i knew guys like this. and i realized i did not want them! :D
:: did not have an ex gurlfriend who would then make it the purpose of her life to mail me and tell me that i had stolen her boyfriend. yes, i knew women like this too. and no, i could do without the drama. really.
but all of that changed over time... as did i. i lost some of my extreme superiority complex *lost the extreme bit, i think*. and i became a lot more human. and realized that it was okay to give people a chance. sometimes.
and then, i met vin. and i realized that i COULD indeed get a guy who undoubtedly is in a much higher league than i was. or would ever be. he was what i hoped to be, someday. of course, he doesn't know this. and i wouldn't have ever agreed to it, but still. this is confession time. and i don't lie on this space. i merely evade the truth when necessary ;)
but it was then, after meeting him, that i "knew" that as long as my guy:
:: was passionate about his work and wasn't working coz he "had to"...
:: understood that respect had to be earned. by both of us....
:: knew what he wanted. from himself. from me. from life...
:: was secure. with himself. with me. with "us"....
:: could make me smile simply by "being there"...
:: realized the importance of accepting me the way i was and giving me my time & space....
:: could hold a conversation. or make me feel comfortable with his silence...
:: loved me. enough to want me for an entire lifetime...
nothing else really mattered.
of course, factors like he didn't have a potbelly, moustache or beard, wasn't an alcoholic, spoke good english, did not wear rubber chappals on a date, knew his bollywood films... DID help his case. quite a bit.
and of course, so did his dimples!
to answer dewdrop... he may not have been what i wanted at 18. but he was - and is - everything i'll ever need. :)