there are a few questions that leave me totally blank for a few seconds. what did u do for a living...? where, in india, are you from...? being 2 of those few. now, technically... home would *and should* be pune. and it shouldn't be a question that leaves me confused. i've spent a major part of my life... well over 20 years there... i have a lot of memories - good & bad - associated with the town... my mom still lives there... so that should be what i consider home. but it's not. i do like it. yes. i also love the shrewsbury biscuits and bakarwadi and kayani cake. but apart from that.. and my mom, i really can't think of anything that would make me want to go back. i think since i was 15 or so... i wanted to move out of the city. of course, dad vetoed it initially.. then gave me the option of leaving the city under two circumstances: a. get a respectable job that you may not get here, orb. get admission into a post grad school which is better than the ones in pune. a, i thought was not possible without b... so that's about when i discovered about the CAT... and decided that was my only hope of getting out of town. WHY i wanted to leave... i don't know. i just never felt "comfortable" enough there.
once i left... i never felt like going back. usually, these things happen to me in phases. i WANT something real bad... i work for it.. i get it... then i get bored and leave it and return to whatever it was i loved and had before. but not this time. i was "happy" being away from pune. i was at home in bbay. the last place i thought would be 'home' for me. *i still hate local trains and a lot of other things about bbay... but it doesn't lessen the way i love that city!*today, when i say "i want to go home".. i really want to go meet my mom, get pampered for a while... then move on to bbay... and actually "feel" at home. for some reason... i don't see myself living in any other city! when i say home, i think bbay. a lot of ppl think i love pune. i do give the city it's due because i have memories there... of growing up... of finding myself... but i doubt i'd defend it if there were an argument on pune v/s bbay. i know i may sound vociferous when i say "it's a great city!" but that's the way i talk. doesn't have to mean that i AM that passionate about what i'm saying! :P *i even sound assertive when i talk of B-grade bollywood films...doesn't mean i love them.* i know it's strange... to not really associate with a city that u spent over 20 years of ur life in... but to call a place where u spent merely 6 years - home. makes me feel a little rootless at times... but well.. not everything has to make sense.
p.s.: this post is a li'l all over the place... but then it's like that in my head too...
ok. i'm home! so are my bags. finally. for the record, here's what happened: flight landed late at boston. bad weather being the reason. at boston airport, i am told that i'd miss my flight if i don't "run across to the other terminal" REALLY?? run across?? in SNOW????but well.. I had to get home, so i figure that's my problem. so i actually scampered across two terminals. completely failing to notice how pretty everything around was. THEN, i'm told the flight has been delayed. not by 15 - 20 mins. by TWO hours!!!! and while looking out at the snowed-in planes, i realize with a sinking feeling. "i'm gonna miss my connecting to houston!" i chk with the airline ppl if i can get on a later flight. wishing my bro would actually fly international routes so i can make the plane wait for me! i am told there's no later flight.faced with the option of being stuck at dallas, i frantically call vin. me: where are you??vin: home. where are YOU?me: can u come to dallas to pick me up???vin: hehe. where are you right now?me: i'm at boston airport. flight's delayed by over 2 hours. and i miss my connecting to houston. can u get to dallas by 8.30?? vin: yeah. of course. i can't dare leave you at dallas, can i? hehee.me: ok. come on time. LEAVE now! at dallas. i wait for my bags. no bags. so i run around the airport trying to locate a rep who can tell me where my bags are. *it's late. and it's the holiday season. so few reps at that hour*at the counter:me: *explained HOW i'd got there, gave them reqd info etc* could you tell me where my bags are?her: *grinning at me like a cheshire cat. despite seeing that i wasn't in the mood to comprehend humour!* you'll have to call this number and press 7. they would be able to tell you.me: you don't think YOU should call them? YOU lost my bags. i'm stranded here coz YOUR flights got delayed. and now you want me to call numbers and HOLD?? her: um.. ma'am, i would have. but it's a "customer" service number. they wouldn't speak to me.i realized, she was serious about it. she looked a little warily at me, actually. too dumbfounded by her blondness... i DO call the number. the man there thought i'd like to chat. and asked me random details about my flights and my bags. finally, he gives me a "locator number" which i'm supposed to map online. except, they don't update their site. awesome. a day and a half later, no bags. i call the number again. i explain what has happened and give her the locator.. so she can check.she: you came from london?! me: yes? she: and you missed your flight from dallas?me: YES? *this is info i have JUST given her*she: OMG!!! how did you get home from dallas at that hour???me: huh? i asked to be picked up. she: oh. then why did you not pick up your bags at dallas? stunned silence. she thinks i abandoned my precious bags at that airport????? do people DO that??? just like that? for FUN???me: i WOULD have, if i COULD have. but thanks to your amazing service, my bags did NOT reach dallas. neither have they reached houston. YOU. need. to tell me. WHERE. they are! and, NOW. she: yes ma'am. i'll just check.ARGHH!! finally, 4 hours later that day, my bags got home. after of course, i was made to give super-fab directions of how they could reach my house. yeah, i live here. but i can't give directions. i admit giving directions included resorting to the power of the internet! :D and just for kicks, i checked their site, later in the evng. to realize that it still said : bags not located.i've received the bags, but the site says they haven't found them. imagine the trauma this conflicting info would have had on me if i were as bright as their customer service rep(s). vin says i should sue them. for emotional distress.but i'm just gonna say "happy holidays! feels good to be home. with my luggage!"
i don't celebrate all indian festivals with aplomb. my folks tried to instill in me a wanting to celebrate most major fests... but somehow, i cudn't relate to any of them. except for the food associated with them, that is! but diwali? it's like maggi hot and sweet tomato chilly sauce. it's different. diwali has a lot of vivid memories in my head. as long back as i r'ber, we've celebrated diwali. now i don't say "we" as in the human race or the indian race or anything like that. "we" pertains to my family. my mom, my dad, my bro, my dogs and my cat(s). the latter depending on which years i am referring to. diwali, to me, is associated with the cleaning up of the entire house. preening and pruning the garden, which usually my mom did for months before the actual day! d shopping... which was done weeks before when our diwali holidays for school began! *this was when i still enjoyed shopping* the rising early in the morning on diwali day. *i've never woken up that early except on diwali! but yeah, it felt good only on diwali day.* the dressing up and watching my bro & dad light crackers outside... huddling up inside the house with my beloved pets cause we hated the loud noise-making firecrackers... lighting diyas on the steps leading to the house.. in d garden... in all the windows... while my cat looked on. in awe, i guess. coz that was the only time he saw me do anything constructive around the house! decorating the window sill with streams of marigold & lilies...with the entire flower basket on the ledge along with me, and the cat; who, obviously fascinated, would insist on lying down on the flowers. *not a good idea if ur cat is 7 odd kgs heavy!* the dog, jealous that she could not climb up on the ledge while the cat could, would keep looking at us... and refuse to let d cat near me once i was down from the ledge... of lighting sparklers and watching them fascinated... of watching ma draw the rangoli and trying in vain to not let the cat step on it...
later, as we grew older and moved out of home, diwali was the only time that we, as a family came together. all four of us. so it became extra special. we went out of town after laxmi pooja and returned after 3-4 days... that's as much leave as we got! we didn't have the dogs anymore, so that was one concern off our minds. *our dogs didn't eat in our absence, so kennels were out of the picture* i remember the trips to alibaug, to the konkan coast, exploring the beauty of the non-touristy villages, the virgin beaches, the simple, non-commercialized folks... they all, somehow, are associated with diwali in my head! the weather's usually really adorable at this time of the year. neither too cold, nor too warm. just right! for lovely, long drives... evenings at the beach... or just sitting around and talking to each other... this will be my second diwali away from home. last year didn't feel so bad coz we were at my cousin's place. maasi was here. and it felt almost like home. this year's a little different. my folks and bro are together... and i feel kind of left out of the whole thing. so it's now reduced to chatting with frenz back home, telling them how much i miss home and garner some sympathy! lol! now it's more like upto me to make it feel like diwali for both of us. so, off i go to clear and clean the mess of an apartment... light up the tea-lights and candles, and place the beeyootiful flowers that the mad man i married got me without a reason! again! yeah, now that i think of it, it does feel like home! p.s.: wish all of u a very very rockin' diwali!
after a chaotic 20 days of striving to be strong...after flying for 18+ hours and driving an additional 2...after tasteless flight food & confused immigration officials...after lugging all our luggage off the conveyor belts & then the car into our small yet cozy drawing room...after having a nice, non-elaborate self-cooked dinner... after sinking into the lovely couch we bought together... after a night's good sleep under the warm covers on a cold, rainy night...after spending the morning in shorts & a tee...after looking at the overcast sky for hours... after procrastinating on unpacking...i know. i'm finally "home". it's an amazing feeling for me. after years of feeling rootless, of being confused when asked "where are you from?" i finally know. home is right here. with V. it always will be.
