Nov 20, 2006

the theory of marriage

a lot of people often ask me, how did i decide to have an arranged marriage.
well, two things:
a. i did not "decide" to have one. it kind of, just happened.
b. i'm an ardent believer in arranged marriages!

actually, i wasn't always a believer. i was "brain-washed" by a friend. HE was an ardent believer in the concept. and maybe to find company, he got me hooked onto it too.

he introduced me to an interesting theory. the triangle theory! he said it's simple to decide whether you should marry someone you meet or not. no, let me clarify, this is NOT for those people who have negative auras about them! *sometimes, one glance at a person is enough to tell you that there isn't going to be another!* this is for people who you can't decide about. people you've met multiple times. and are confused whether the person is "right" for you. *mind you - RIGHT. not PERFECT. that's an over-hyped myth!*

the three angles of this triangle are formed by three core values:
i. friendship. crucial that you can be friends with the person you're going out with. there's something weird about friendship. seemingly different individuals realise that deep down they share identical values, beliefs... that they can hold conversations about any and everything. anytime. all the time.
ii. commitment. this phobia usually doesn't happen in arranged marriages. but gauging by the person's dedication to other factors in his life, *if he's passed angle i, u'll know these* you can easily know whether or not you wish to commit the rest of your life to him.
iii. passion. not all friends make good life partners. *but all life partners HAVE to be good friends* make sure u're attracted to your date. that's what could get your relationship started, at times. the other two angles would help sustenance. more or less.

this triangle can't sustain without ANY of the angles. mandatory to have all three of them. sounds simple. but is VERY difficult to meet someone who'd score a 10 on all three counts. if you find him. hang on. for dear life, hang on! it could lead to something magical! it still won't be perfect. but yeah, it'll be as near to it as it can!

p.s.: people touch your lives in the most unexpected ways. sometimes, they don't ever realise that they've made such a huge difference to your thoughts, ur life... this is to YOU. have a gr8 life!


Aarthi said...

:-) Very nicely put. I esp agree with the bit about people making a difference to your life without even realizing it...there are so many people I appreciate much more than they realize, some family, some friends, some complete strangers - I just hope I am one of them to someone too!

rayshma said...

thx aarthi! i'm sure u are! :)

Pavi!!!! said...

U know wat I absolutely love abt this theory?? The fact that it doesn’t mention “love” at all.. AT ALL!

rayshma said...

oh, i totally believe this theory works! really.
love is such an used and abused word... the true meaning is lost i guess!