Mar 21, 2007

of birds & bees

i have a problem.

my patio is being treated like a personal toilet and/or nesting ground. by the birds & the bees respectively. i can't understand.
don't the birds have anywhere else to poop? there're lots of cars parked under the trees out there! *now i hope they don't find OUR car to poop on!*

doesn't this bee need, like, permissions to construct her house here? or is she exempt of it, in lieu of being a citizen? i wouldn't mind if it were a small, inconsequential, harmless bee. but this one? she's HUGE! and the type that stings. *OKAY. i don't know what "type" she is. but i know she cud sting!*
till y'day, there was only one bee who went about her "nest/hive building" activities quietly. we both would observe each other, and go about our businesses. she, outside. me, inside. today, there's another bee! even bigger than d other one! and they're doing extremely objectionable things on my patio!

normally, i love animals. yeah, birds included. but i cannot get to like any creature that treats my patio like it's their personal toilet. and doesn't even clean up after it! also, the thought of watching two bees fornicating on my patio door is so NOT appealing!

how do i tell that stoopid bird that this is MY patio, not HER loo? that she can't be sitting on the railing one minute & poop on my patio the next! that when the crazy-looking creature on the other end is waving with both her hands, she's NOT saying hello to her! she's trying to shoo her away. that is how birds in her country got scared & flew off!? *i also used my cat back home. that always worked!*

with the bee, i don't try. honestly, i'm scared. scared that she might think i'm dangerous & sting me! hehe... i know, she's outside & am inside. but hell, i will go outside some day, rite! and i've seen way too many hindi movies, where snakes take revenge on humans who harmed them et al... how do i know this bee won't do the same?!

maybe i could get V to speak to them. he is, after all, a bird doctor! *okay, okay, animal. but he's specialising in avian something. so bird doctor's fine!* but i wonder if that'd work. i mean, i don't listen to him much myself. should i count on the birds & bees to? well, we'll just wait & watch whether my "bird doctor" can come up with a soultion! or i'm gonna have a very new "birds & bees" story to tell my children, whenever we have them!


Sarfraaz Ahmed said...

Haha .. no pun intended, but this was really cute and sweet to read ... Welcome back :-)

plush said...

lol raysh...mebbe u could introduce the bird to the bee and it might hungry and try to eat it...and in the process the bee might sting it...which then might make the bird away...and the bee chase it....(or u could just ignore both of them....and this comment...)...

rayshma said...

thx sarfraaz! when're u getting back to blogging? :D

lol, plush! that was a neat one! i loved ur soln!
d bird continues to ignore my existence... and i can't go out on the patio coz i'm scared of the bee.. hehe! V sez he will handle it... let's see what my hero comes up with..;)

Fuzzylogic said...

This post reminded me of a similar post made by Upsilamba who had similar bird woes. About the bees I am scared of them too,we used to have one big hive right near the college vehicle parking lot and once someone pelted a stone and there was chaos they attacked every student who went to get their vehicles and I was unfortunately one victim too.I got stung near the cheek and had to return back to home leaving the vehicle right there:( and not to mention the embarassed look I had to endure a whole week with a swollen cheek,never mess with those nasty creatures.Let V handle it:)

rayshma said...

heyy fuzzy...
i must chk out her space soon. maybe she found a solution!
V has tried smthng... but the bees don't seem to get it. they're still hovering there! i think d birds read my blog! they aint arnd today... lol!

rayshma said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
upsilamba said...

oh my my, rayshma dahlin --- so glad to see a fellow sufferer. It feels good. :-)

I was wondering why you inquired about bees solution. now I know.

canons really help. but then not practical in your patio.

did you talk to someone at Home depot or Lowes? Those guys almost always will have some ideas.

rayshma said...

oh lord i hate this blogger! i wrote a nice long revert... and there! it's vanished!

anywez, upsi... as i was saying...
there's a teeny weeny thing called male ego, which interferes when 'outside' help is solicited!
we, or rather V, has been undoing the bee's hardwork for the past 3 evngs. am hoping the bee proves to be less bull-headed than my taurean hubby!
btw, are d birds gone yet?