Mar 8, 2007

miracle status

open any matrimonial site/column and check for what's reqd from an ideal Indian bride. here's why my current marital status is nothing short of a miracle!

- she should be homely.
where do i begin? i lived alone, away from home for almost 6 years. i had more "boy" frenz than "gurl". my Ts could be mistaken as a 5 year old's dress. *my dad once thot my dress was a scarf. NO, i wasn't wearing it, it was lying around* the last time i wore sleeves was when i had a horrible rash on my arms. the last time i wore a salwar kameez *with sleeves* and it wasn't a wedding was ---- uhh... hell, i haven't!

- should not drink or smoke. *no mention of drugs there, mind u!*
i love my vodka-martini-beers *this could come under not being homely, could it?*

- she should be a good cook.
i couldn't cook. not even the "i make egg" types. i had never used pots & pans to make any meal for anyone. yes, i did go to the kitchen. to get a drink or chocolate. i ordered food from out when i didn't like the food made at my hostel/PGs.

- she should be "nice" *usually means she should get along with the grooms entire family within days of meeting them*
i shall not say anything more about my social skills. or the lack of them.

- should be tall.
even if a guy is way below average, he still wants a girl who's TALL? for what? to look upto??
at 5'3", i aint tall by any standards. but yes, i LOVE my heels!

- fair/beautiful. *WHY these two have to be identical is something i can never understand. but anyhoo, i aint here to kill the market for fair & lovely!*
the first time my now-MIL saw me, i'd JUST returned from a 3-day, all gurls vacation in goa. that meant a hell lot of gallivanting on the beach in skimpy clothes! to say i was dark, would be an understatement! i was a rich cocoa shade, is how i like to describe it. coz i loved that color! i mean, i've never had dark brown skin. it's always a yellowish brown! neither white nor brown types! not to mention the tan *or sun-burn* hid ALL flaws in my skin! but i'm digressing.

i wasn't fair when the grooms parents saw me. another no-no!

- should be good with children *GOSH! i don't believe this one! HOW does one figure out whether a woman is "good" with children?*
i don't dislike children. but i like it when they maintain their distance from me & vice-versa. i can't walk upto unknown children and go coochie-woochie! PLZ!

these are JUST the parents' requirements. i aint even going into what the groom would expect. why don't they just order a superwoman instead? oh, sorry! she wouldn't fit the criteria, would she?

p.s.: a fren's going thru this crap rite now. that reminded me. no, i don't plan to get married again. finding a good guy once was a miracle which should last me this entire life!


Orchid said...

Haha! that tickled me immensley.....and that as pretty revelaing too, got to know you seem like a lot of fun :)

L E T A U R E A U said...

So ur spring breaks in Austin. Dats nice! Do say a hi when you see a dude with a big banner jutting out of his backpack, with my blog's title on it.

My spring break starts in two days and I am off to CA until its through.

Btw, nice post. M not sure how much some dude's parents back home thought of u as a 'suitable' girl, but personally, u sounded like a great package. :-P

Sarfraaz Ahmed said...

Came across this link on How fair is Fair and Lovely ... probably it might interest you :-)

rayshma said...

thx orchid! :)

taureau - i think i managed to found that one exception, that proves the rule! my in-laws arae ALMOST as chilled as my folks!
and yes, thx!

sarfraaz - the F&L debate's been on for decades now. honestly, i've become indifferent to it. i think they have a fab marketing strategy, tho! they're bang on target. their sales figs wud confirm that!

SM said...

"why don't they just order a superwoman instead?"
In your case they got one didn't they?? Oh sorry U r a supergirl, there was no superwoman in the list huh?? (Ref: your post oh which action hero are u?)
Hilarious post!

SM said...

"why don't they just order a superwoman instead?"
In your case they got one didn't they?? Oh sorry U r a supergirl, there was no superwoman in the list huh?? (Ref: your post oh which action hero are u?)
Hilarious post!

SM said...

On a diff nt: I wnt to try out boggle (for free). U seem to be a champ-whr do I go?

rayshma said...

heyy SM - good to see u back :)
boggle: yahoo games. they have a play online version. i use that! :)

vis-a-vis, superwoman, there was one on the list, i guess all i qualified as was "supergirl"! *damn!*
reg: marital qualifications, i'm WAY off the expectations! lol!

plush said...

:) this is called sheer timing...just after i spent the last 4 hrs locked in just to avoid the damn topic of umm...."finding someone to last ur life..." or votevr!oh but..u raysh...totally rock i bet...keep havin fun girl..:)..oh do get out ind sunshine like v says...some vitamin d-k thing there i believe!

rayshma said...

lol! i avoided going home on weekends at times, just so i wudn't be faced with the question of "don't u wanna get married?" hehe...
yeah, m getting some sunshine... V made b'fast and insisted we eat out on the patio. food, can make me brave sunshine, rain, storm... anything! :)

DotMom said...