miracle status

open any matrimonial site/column and check for what's reqd from an ideal Indian bride. here's why my current marital status is nothing short of a miracle!

- she should be homely.
where do i begin? i lived alone, away from home for almost 6 years. i had more "boy" frenz than "gurl". my Ts could be mistaken as a 5 year old's dress. *my dad once thot my dress was a scarf. NO, i wasn't wearing it, it was lying around* the last time i wore sleeves was when i had a horrible rash on my arms. the last time i wore a salwar kameez *with sleeves* and it wasn't a wedding was ---- uhh... hell, i haven't!

- should not drink or smoke. *no mention of drugs there, mind u!*
i love my vodka-martini-beers *this could come under not being homely, could it?*

- she should be a good cook.
i couldn't cook. not even the "i make egg" types. i had never used pots & pans to make any meal for anyone. yes, i did go to the kitchen. to get a drink or chocolate. i ordered food from out when i didn't like the food made at my hostel/PGs.

- she should be "nice" *usually means she should get along with the grooms entire family within days of meeting them*
i shall not say anything more about my social skills. or the lack of them.

- should be tall.
even if a guy is way below average, he still wants a girl who's TALL? for what? to look upto??
at 5'3", i aint tall by any standards. but yes, i LOVE my heels!

- fair/beautiful. *WHY these two have to be identical is something i can never understand. but anyhoo, i aint here to kill the market for fair & lovely!*
the first time my now-MIL saw me, i'd JUST returned from a 3-day, all gurls vacation in goa. that meant a hell lot of gallivanting on the beach in skimpy clothes! to say i was dark, would be an understatement! i was a rich cocoa shade, is how i like to describe it. coz i loved that color! i mean, i've never had dark brown skin. it's always a yellowish brown! neither white nor brown types! not to mention the tan *or sun-burn* hid ALL flaws in my skin! but i'm digressing.

i wasn't fair when the grooms parents saw me. another no-no!

- should be good with children *GOSH! i don't believe this one! HOW does one figure out whether a woman is "good" with children?*
i don't dislike children. but i like it when they maintain their distance from me & vice-versa. i can't walk upto unknown children and go coochie-woochie! PLZ!

these are JUST the parents' requirements. i aint even going into what the groom would expect. why don't they just order a superwoman instead? oh, sorry! she wouldn't fit the criteria, would she?

p.s.: a fren's going thru this crap rite now. that reminded me. no, i don't plan to get married again. finding a good guy once was a miracle which should last me this entire life!