May 16, 2007

life is simple.

a close fren of mine recently asked me "why did u marry V?"
and he set me thinking. i don't know. why does anybody marry anybody?

i gave him the usual gyaan that i give almost anybody who asks me for any gyaan on the topic. but i know. i hadn't used any theory. i hadn't made a bullet-point list of pro's and con's when it came to V. he asked me if i'd marry him. and i said yes. i didn't even realize that this was the first and probably, last time that any man would ask me to marry him. i didn't get butterflies in my stomach while i said yes. i don't think i even realized what i'd committed to till we were actually exchanging rings. after that, it was too late to think, wasn't it?! so i didn't think of it after that.

i'm not a very mushy, emotional woman. i know where my heart is on most days. and this non-thinking, going with the moment works for me. i seldom think about what i'm going to do. i'm impulsive. and so far, it's helped.

i wasn't "madly in love" with him, then. in fact, i wasn't "madly in love" with anyone. coz i didn't believe in being "madly in love". *conceptual issues!* it was a very filmy emotion for me. restricted to the crappy movies i keep watching. 'love' to me is a mix of compatibility, attraction, moments of passion and more than all, the WILL to commit the rest of your life to ONE significant other. *that's another topic for another day...*

his *my frenz, not V's* bone of contention was "how d'u know u won't come across someone better after u've taken the step and gotten married?" well, dear... i don't. nobody can predict the future. but for me, marriage was not about fairy tale romance. it was about waking up to face the same person every day. consistently. it was not about feeling the alleged "thrill" of being in love daily. it was about being with someone who loves me enough to want me for the rest of his life. it was about knowing that he'll be there for me IF & WHEN i were to fall.
and now i know, it's about hugging ur hubby voluntarily when he comes home...tired & smelling like chicken feed. *THIS is entirely situational. and does NOT happen daily, mind u!*


life is simple. until we complicate it with our thought processes. it's not about "finding" someone better than u have. it's about making a choice. and not looking back.

8 comments:

Anand Sarolkar said...

Gyan Devi ki jai ho! ;)

MJS said...

Hey,
In one of my posts months ago (now I have forgotten which one), I put down a very similar ( I can risk calling it identical) definition of 'love'...
So now I AM convinced... we ARE so alike!!!!

Pixie said...

When I read this, it was like reading MY story! :)
Our thoughts are so similar!
My first visit to your blog and I thoroughly enjoyed myself...

Orchid said...

A really good post! and i say this because you've used such a simple example to get across such a strong message. U are so right about trying to be happy with our choices (not just husbands:) )...

rayshma said...

anand - dhanyavad! and yes, good to c u back.

mrids - yes, gurl... we're both awesome! and d best/worst part is that we know and have utmost faith in d fact! ;)

pixie - thx! was going thru ur space... *cudn't help notice d same l/o!* like ur blog, so have blog-rolled u... hope u don't mind!

orch!! thx, babes! and yeah, u got me right... it applies to all choices, not just hubbies/wives.
get ur laptop back. SOON!

Mahogany said...

Amen.

plush said...

hmmmmmmmm.....

who_is_john_galt? said...

Thank you.