Jul 31, 2008

perceptions may not be reality

on the karma post... sahana left me a comment saying she liked the post coz it was different from the usual & kind of said that i think too. suruchi said she couldn't take the articulate thinking from me! :D
i found both comments really honest and very cute.
they also reminded me of how i've always been perceived as rather daftish coz i seem to take my life very lightly.
i don't get too worked up by minor irritants. i appear to be unfazed my major issues. i don't let anybody else ruin my day for me. i live in my own world. i smile endlessly. and well, on first glance, i do come across as very superficial or fake. coz nobody can be happy all the time.

but it's not like that. it's just that i am actually very reserved. despite this blog, despite that grin on my face. despite the fact that i smile when i want to cry at times. laughter is my defense. and so far, it works for me.
i do get affected by things. and when i'm genuinely affected, i don't rave and rant or talk. i retreat into my own comfort zone. lick my wounds. gather my thoughts. and re-appear when i can smile.

a friend of mine in post grad had once asked me if it doesn't bother me that people think i'm daft when i'm not. my answer to him still remains the same. why should someone else's perception of me bother me? why should i need to prove to someone that i can think? i don't need to. and i won't. i'm happy. in the fact that my inner circle of friends knows me for who i am. people who wish to know me get to know me. if i like them, they get to know me real well also. and maybe, they can someday, even call me a friend. but till then.. i don't care what they think of me. what does it say about a person if that person lives his/her life only so others can like him/her? i'd seriously rather not live than live like that. to please others.

yes, i've also been perceived to have a 'holier-than-thou' attitude. but i don't. it's just that i genuinely don't care what u think of me. i am indifferent to general opinions. i don't think that makes me better than u. maybe i am, maybe i'm not. but i am not affected by what someone who doesn't know me thinks about me. i AM affected if i care about the person writing me off. i'm human that way!

how often do we judge people by what we perceive them as rather than what they really are? how often have we seen someone laugh it off and said "must be daft to laugh in a time like that". or how often have we seen a single woman around 30 and thought "why's she single? must be some problem with her?" well, maybe that person has far more mettle than we know of. maybe they're way better than what we give them credit for. maybe there are problems beyond your understanding. maybe she doesn't want to get married! why should u care? it's okay to have opinions. but we also need to be open to the fact that our opinion may be incorrect. why write off or adore people till u know them well? and if u don't want to know them, it's okay. just try not to judge.

p.s.: edited to add: i'm not saying i'm not daft! :D


La vida Loca said...

I do judge ppl on the face value..with an open mind and ready to change

who said u r not daft? :D
just kidding!

DotThoughts said...

oh you are so daft :P I love, love, lurrve your attitude. that's why I keep coming to your blog. again and again. I need my daily dose of optimism.

Lena said...

we love to judge, dont we? i mean we as human race. I guess thats the way people try to hide their own drawbacks and to show they are better. But again, says who? it is all in minds, why would i worry what people think about me if i know who i am and if people i love know it. Rest just does not matter!

Pavi!!!! said...

i keep visitin ur blogs coz of ur crazzy attitude n the madness...i'm a li'l allergic to highly intelligent n very sane ppl...u know! n sumthing tells me..u hv tht kinda allergy as well ;)

BTW..im sooooo glad u edited the post to add the last line...thts like the Ray Ray i know.

Hugs...just like that :)

Anthara said...

Hello friend,

I like the quote Perception may not be real…
…..I personally believe that perception leads to thinking either good or bad/rational or irrational/negative or positive/fake or real. It is the point where ones mind started weaving its threads then comes to judgment. Again judgment comes from the perception.
We cannot always judge a person; I believe this is much related to their inner world. It’s quite tricky we don’t know, in which soil which metal is there until mined deeply…

Suma said...

that's a good atitude to carry, 'cos then people can't see when they've hurt you...ofcourse the ones you care about should know you in and out...

having said that,i could do with some of that attitude...pass some over will ya?

Keshi said...

Rayshma I hv been judged so many times for wut ppl perceive me to be and not for who I really am. And Im sure I do that too..all the time. Cos we always depend on our PERCEPTION.

Unfortunately blogworld is a place where our posts DFEINE us, instead of the entire person.


Ankur said...

cant agree more with u!! :)

P.S. neither m i!! ;)

Galadriel said...

erm... dude
a. no one who met you for the first time would think you're daft. if they do, THEY are daft.
b. i'm surprised it doesn't bother you if people think you're daft. most "intelligent" people i know seem to want to go out of their way to prove to the world that they are, in fact, brainy.
c. (will be disclosed to you in private)

Anand Sarolkar said...

It seems you are like a tortoise which gets into it's shell when uncomfortable and comes out when it is comfortable :)

sahana said...

there u go! be ur self! i have such a fundu mental image of u! pls let it be.u r fine as u r! dont ever explain urself.u wont find the words.anyway, something intereting for u in my post!

rayshma said...

sahana: i thought u were offering me a job.. but this is WAY better! :D muah!

anand: nahi re.. not tortoise.. i'm a crab. *going by linda goodman's wise words, at least!*

galadriel: is this ur first nice comment to me since u got to know me?
a. i'm silly, at times, not daft per se.
b. arre if i need to prove it, then it defeats the purpose, no?
c. when when? u're coming over again? :D

ankur: hehe

keshi: it's fine to "think" a certain person is a certain way. but to be rigid in that thinking... or to go advertising "ur" perception to half the world... that is what i find unacceptable.

suma: u have to meet me for that. then, we can hold hands and perform the "attitude transfer" ritual. and maybe u can lend me some patience and wisdom, eh? ;)

anthara: nice thought... it's fine to perceive.. to think... to believe. but it's not to be rigid about it. our perceptions craft our reality. but how right is it to expect people to stand by 'ur' version of reality? why not be open to the fact that u may be wrong?

pavi: no re.. not allergic. but i'm too daft to 'get' them. so i stay away. why prove i'm daft, hai na?! :D u have a good weekend! :0)

lena: we sure do! :) have a gr8 weekend, gurl!

dottie: aww... :)

loca: we all do that, don't we? ur open mind is the most crucial there... :) have a good weekend, woman! :0)