photographic return

was about to enter the shower, when a knock on the door startled me today. we never have visitors. and unannounced, well... i never had those in india either!

peeped out thru the keyhole... couldn't see the human/creature or whatever it was... was i hallucinating? umm..no, i did sense some movement.

said one minute, rushed in, grabbed hubby's T *i don't exactly dress for company* and went out to check. could barely conceal my surprise & joy at seeing the FedEx guy at our door! yippiieee!!!! i was SO delighted to see him. i'd have invited him in for coffee if i were better dressed!

and to think of it, i almost missed him. GOSH! i would've never been able to forgive myself had i ever missed him today. never before was the FedEx guy this important in my life. been waiting for him for over a week now! yeah, not even when i was waiting for my MICA call letter had i waited so eagerly for him! *come to think of it, i don't wait for hubby so eagerly!* as soon as he'd left, i ripped open the package. i guess they take "security" to all-new standards here. the package was really, i mean, really well-bound!

struggled, struggled and then struggled some more... finally, managed to rip it open. and here it is, staring back at me with it's beautiful eye restored - our camera! the window with which we capture those little little moments which are then frozen in time & memory...

this calls for a celebration! so off i go, to warm up last nite's left-over pizza and celebrate... the return of the camera!

symptoms of becoming a housewife

- u discuss recipes with close frenz
- the sink dispenser jam is far more important than the traffic jams on the freeways
- u can't r'ber the day or date - but u r'ber when it's "grocery day"
- u buy furniture/crockery depending on how easy it would be to clean
- u look at post-its & wonder how many items of ur grocery list wud fit on one?
- u're introduced at parties as 'so-and-so's' wife
- when asked d inevitable "what do u do?", u don't know what to say. *nothing is what i usually say. and don't bother explaining! completely baffles the other person... ;)*
- on friday evening u ask hubby "u have to work tomorrow?"
- u can eat when u please, what u please, how u please
- u don't have to dress up daily
- u can have nice, loooonnnngggg showers on weekdays *without the phone/doorbell ringing or without u having to "revert" urgently to any1!
- important call means a call from ur parents or husband. or, yes, ur in-laws.
- u can watch t.v. in the afternoon on a weekday!
- u begin to enjoy "doing nothing"
- u start blogging & catching up on networking sites regularly

tishnagi - the quest continues...

how often is it that a song just stays on your mind? reflecting exactly what u're thinking at that moment. purrfect timing, eh? so let this be my "song for the day" along with my thought for the day.

mere mann yeh bataa de tu, kis or chala hai tu...
kya paaya nahi tune...
kya dhooondh raha hai tu...

jo hai unkahii, jo hai unsunii,
woh baat kya hai bataa...

if something's unheard...unsaid, how do i know what it is? is it understood? or am i just turning a blind eye to the next route i need to take...?
i have everything i ever wanted... someone who'd love me no matter what. for who i was, without wanting to change me, without compromising on his happiness. or mine.
now that i've found him and am with him, what do i now seek? will the quest ever end?


p.s.: apologies for using a "tagline" for the post. too much of bollywood does that to me.

meter down

i miss the taxis in bbay.

after spending almost 5 years, travelling by cab to & fro office, they'd become a part of my life.

there was this thing we had about finding the weirdest cabs in the entire city! with lunatics for cabbies. cabbies who would sing loudly while me & my bestest fren were trying to catch up on life outside work. cabbies who'd insist on talking to us.*while we were speaking to each other* cabbies who'd keep asking what route to take. cabbies who'd insist on listening to the radio depite being told to shut it off!

but the cabs, by themselves, belonged to musuems, not the streets! we've travelled in cabs where there was no indicator *that thingy which sez we're turning?*, no brake lights *i hoped they had brakes!!!*, cabs with HUGE, and i mean HUGE mirrors on the inside. on d ceiling & d sides! whoa! vain, i might be, but to see urself all over? *felt like u were in a sanjay leela bhansali magnum opus. minus the make-up* umm... no thanks! cabs which had pitch dark glasses *think they were used by desperate couples to make out or something*
and how can i forget, agarbattis! we had a penchant for finding cabs which had agarbattis LIT in them. and these goddamn incense sticks would keep burning till we got off outside the shady office lane! needless to say, i HATE agarbattis & all other variants of incense sticks!

and still, i miss the cabs. and the cabbies.
miss peeping out from the cab to take a peek at the hoardings, the movie posters... miss the 'bollywood-pop-quiz' played in the hour taken to reach office. most of all, i really really miss those cab-rides.

life sure was a roller-coaster ride in them. is it still the same?

filmie, very filmie

a few taglines for recent bollywood flicks that i remember.

- dil diya hai : love happens *really? does it?*
- humko deewana kar gaye : love connects *sounds more like a telecom ad. use our network, and u'll never have dropped calls or wrong numbers. love connects! phew!*
- family : ties of blood *what the #$@! *
- lucky : no time for love *maybe it shud be lucky - no time to study?*
- rocky : the rebel *oh! i thought the mountain range*
- aan : men at work *what is this? a municipality sign for viewers to take the diversion?*
- shakti : the power *may the force be with you*
- saawan : the love season *didn't know love was season-specific*
- double cross : ek dhoka *simplifying the name for the masses who can't understand english. awesome!*
- garv : pride & honour *complicating it so it can appeal to the educated class??*
- insaaf : the justice *oh yeah? i never knew! thought in-saaf was when the cleaning lady cleaned the inn*
- waqt : race against time *i am speechless!*

p.s.: i LOVE bollywood.

differently similar

he believes in 'early to bed...'. i only believe in sleeping. anytime. all the time.

he likes DVD players which play VCDs, MP3s AND DVDs. for me, a DVD player which plays a DVD is a miracle if i learn to operate it.

he thinks a cellphone is for talking only. for me, it's a basic necessity, a means of keeping in touch with the world, a communication device, a texting facility, a means of livelihood, a VAS arena & so much more!

he takes HOURS to shop for something we neither need nor want. i can go through my shopping within 20 mins. and buy everything we both would need for a month!

he loves parallel cinema. esp in diff languages. with sub-titles. show me a good masala bollywood flick anytime!

he flinches at the thought of vampires, werewolves, fairies, neverland & d like. i ardently believe in all of that and more!

he loves exercising. i don't like sweating it out.

his money is all over his pockets & his car. i keep my money neatly in my wallet.

he likes kids. i like them at a distance.

when something drops to the floor, he doesn't seem to see it. i pick it up & put it back where it came from.

he wears the same socks & Ts & uses the same towel for weeks. i flinch at the thought of it.

he doesn't notice books lying on the table when he puts down his plate on them. i notice. and get extremely livid.

he thinks deeply about everything we're about to do. i can cancel the most well-laid out plans to do something impulsively exciting!

he loves salads. i can't eat leaves.

we still love each other. deeply.

ignorance is bliss!

it's amazing to see what one can do when one doesn't know what one can not do!

as per the laws of aerodynamism, bumblebees should not be able to fly. but the bumblebee cannot read. or hear someone read out the laws of aerodynamism. so it flies on. ignorant. blissful.

kat kallz

just read something which made me think...... i'm becoming increasingly like garfield!

garfield on being fat: we get heavier as we get older as we have more information in our heads. So i am intelligent, not fat. as my head could not hold anymore, it is starting to fill up the rest. thats my story and i am sticking to it.
well... how true... am on my way there! think i cud adopt the story?

garfield: the only thing active abt me is my imagination
me too! me too!!

garfield: I've reached the pinnacle of laziness and gluttony...
hmm...

garfield: good morning is a contradiction
truer words were seldom spoken

garfield: cats are poetry in motion, dogs are gibberish in neutral
dogs follow orders, cats merely take the message & say they'll get back to u.

garfield: we cats didnt invent the nap, we merely perfected it
purrfection, here i come!

garfield: i love lasagna
i love ANYthing with cheese

i hope i don't start resembling the way he looks, though. jim davis might need royalties from me too, then!

eye speak

when i'm with people, i use words very superficially. to fill silences, to make them feel okay around me, at times. my eyes, though, speak louder. and clearer. and of course, they're brutally honest.

whenever it's really mattered, i've never felt the need to use words to get my point across. like the time when
- XYZ *can't name her* asked to borrow 'the alchemist' from me, i didn't say no. she read it in my eyes & didn't ask again.
- my brother said "what's the point of not taking science if that's what u score ur highest in". i never had to say 'that was school, this is the rest of my life. i shall not take science'. but they all got the point.
- a junior at office missed the point (politically correct for goofed up and literature-perfect for fucked up), i never had to say a word. revisions just happened.
- V proposed, i didn't HAVE to say yes or no. he could read it in my eyes. *i can still say that i haven't said yes to him...lol!*
- V spills food on the carpet, i don't have to say "clean it" he can read it in my eyes.
- V wants to buy something that we don't need *like an additional DVD player*, i don't say no. he just has to look at me to hear it!

everything i NEED to say, i can say with my eyes. sit down, stand up, go away, come here, put that down, u're silly, i'm so stupid, do you have brains?, u're so cute... everything!
except maybe, how about vacuuming the house? for that, i have to resort to words. and they too, don't work.

happy in bed?

are men always so dissatisfied in bed or is it just him? must be a problem peculiar to me, never r'ber dad or bro being so unhappy every morning!

or maybe, it's my husband.

there's something i've realised since we shifted here. he's not happy in bed.

is it the 'variety is the spice of life' funda? umm... given that he still wears the shoes he bought two and a half years back... well, i don't think so!
is it that he gets bored? well... naah! we've just about shifted here... can't be.
is it something that he just doesn't like? well... i don't think so. who wouldn't like getting into bed at the end of a long day...?
but then, he's fine sleeping anywhere else... the drawing room, the couch, the kitchen, even the closet! anywhere - as long as his sleeping bag accompanies him *that's another story for another day* - but he's happy. as long as we're not in bed.

so, what is it?

well... i think a little deeper pondering and i know the answer. the villain in my love life is no stranger to me. i've already had to physically throw her out from my bedroom three times in the past eight weeks!
but there she goes & ruins it again! i shall have to try & put an end to this. today. before he comes home.

i'll be getting our new *should that be newest?* mattress this evening. for the fourth time. in two months.

i cross my fingers & hope this one will be gentler on his back. so finally, my husband can be happy in bed.
amen!

thought 4 d day

why don't people give vouchers for marriage counselling or psychiatrist visits to the newly married?

p.s.: psychiatrist visit needs to be individual. even though u're married. umm... actually, because u're married.

weighty issues

when u've spent most of ur earlier life (approx 15 yrs) trying to gain weight to stay in shape, how do u suddenly make the switch to losing weight to stay in shape?

geez! i hate my doctor! i mean, who ever on earth prescribes drugs which make u gain weight as a side effect? did she just presume that i wudn't care if i gained a few kilos? hmm... my thinking mind (YES, i do have one) says that knowing her d way i do (i know her since birth), d latter's a more convincing reason. but my ruling star (who i trust more than my mind) says that she's a witch doctor. who connivingly prescribed me those drugs so i'd become fat for the 1st time in my life!

anyways, am digressing. now, how do i, who have never set foot in a gym, take up the onerous task of losing the few extra kilos that i've gained.
facts to be taken into consideration:
a. m jobless. which means, i stay at home & hog at will. i love food. especially cheese. *think that says it all*
b. i've never exercised before. i don't know what to do in a "gym"
c. i never liked walking much.
d. i hate to sweat.
e. the dogs in d complex use the pool as their own. *can't swim with them no matter how clean they are*

so there! now, how do i go abt it?

will someone plz sponsor me for a psychiatrist sitting? think i could use that for more than one reason!

truth & reality

"...truth & reality begin when one no longer understands what one is doing or what one knows, and there remains an energy that is all the stronger for being constrained, controlled & compressed." - matisse

really? is that true?