of warming up... and liking me.

*edited to add another convo, by public demand.

since nothing exciting is happening in my life - besides on-now, off-now weekends, stalled cars and late night train rides, here's for a couple of the conversations that I can recollect.

we'd gone to get take-out from a newly opened desi restaurant. the lady there, while really sweet and friendly, had a thick manglorean (?) accent. (i cannot place south indian accents - so i could be wrong) she got us our order in a container and asked:

should i warm it for you?

vin looked at her - with an extremely quizzical expression, and went "HUH?"

i realized he was missing the point.

i also realized that asking him there, would not be wise. so I told the lady "i will warm it, thank you"

later, in the car, i looked at vin and said "what happened there?"

he explained:"i thought she's asking "should I VOMIT for you?" and i was like... What?! WHY?! NO...EWWW... HUH?!?! and all that was flashing in my head... till you replied, and i realized what she'd said!"

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we were in the car at a red light. the car behind was a little too close for comfort. vin drove ahead a bit. the car behind followed.

vin: get AWAY from me! i do NOT want you so close. me: huh?

vin: the truck. behind. tell him to get away from me. why does he like me so much!

me: maybe it's a girl who likes you.

vin: the truck doesn't look like it's being driven by a chick. it's a guy.

me: then maybe the guy likes me, so he's following us. vin - very seriously- : no, honey. you don't know. nobody other than me likes you.

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whenever we book a rental car, we usually go with enterprise. i've called them on numerous occasions, and ALWAYS it's someone called "chris" who answers the call. whether i call their customer service, their offices - in different locations, or different cities, even - it's always "chris".

so i was mentioning it to Vin that maybe they have an employee name kinda thing going on. where everybody who joins has to call himself "chris".

but, of course, the PhD has wittier explanations

vin: no, no.. nothing you know. it's because this IS a 'chris-tian' country.

berrylicious

been a while i wanted to do a picture post. but i can't post pics of dewey. and i don't post pics of vin/me. and i wanted to do a pic post only with a living being.

also, i was stalking a squirrel this morning.
yes, i really do have very important things to be doing. which is why, i was indulging in this. and well, since it can't sue me for pictures taken without permission, here goes.

it did cross my mind as to ho

w big this thing was... esp given that it only eats berries and such.
hmm... i wonder how big a cat would have to be to make this its dinner...

of names. and changing them.

while doing the stereotype tag, i realized i'd forgotten to list down the fact that i haven't changed my surname after i got married. i thought about adding it there, and then didn't.

because i didn't retain my surname so i could go against a stereotype. i didn't do it to rebel. i didn't retain my name coz i'm a feminist. and not because i was leaving everything else behind anyway. in fact, i hadn't even thought about it.

i just didn't. the fact that i didn't have the time to change it when i got married was proven by the fact that nobody thought about it. and now... four years later... it kind of feels futile. now, i realize that i am not sure if i'm okay with changing my surname.

it doesn't mean that i'm not comfortable with adopting the new family.. i have done that, already. i don't need a document to prove it. it's in the conduct.

i don't get the big deal about it.

i have no qualms about admitting that tomorrow, if and when we have a kid, it'll use vin's surname. not mine. like i use my dad's.

because a name is something the parents give you. it is an integral aspect of your identity. apart from a good upbringing, it's the only thing they give you, that remains with you. forever. getting married doesn't mean that you "leave" your family or your identity. not to me, at least.

and most importantly... and this is also the reason i'm not comfortable changing my name, today... it's the only thing i have of my dad's.

i don't see the need to use vin's surname. i have him. with me. every step of the way.

the name is my way of me knowing that my dad is there. with me. every step of the way.

should i give up that feeling just for the sake of not being labelled? not worth it, i think.

how typical!

having done the anti-stereotype tag... i think i needed to list ways in which i do fit the stereotype.

so here goes:

:: i totally suck at math. yes, i have got better with time, but it's something that takes a lot of effort from me.
:: i LOVE my heels. there's no low-day that a good pair of heels can't fix.
:: i am not ambitious. i don't care if i'm doing a job or earning as much/more than my partner. as long as i'm happy, i don't give a damn.
:: i don't drive. when i did, i could totally understand why men say women make bad drivers. i was the kind that would be proof towards that crap.
:: i love good gossip. i don't spread it around, but i love to be clued-in.
:: i totally love chocolates. dark, but chocolate.
:: i'm an efficient cook. that means, that i can manage to cook a meal that's a little more than edible in less than an hour. that includes clean-up time.
:: i believe that a woman can never have enough of handbags, footwear or jewelry.
:: i do notice shades of colors that men wouldn't be able to name.
:: i prefer a good book to the television. even if the book is chick-lit. in fact, i love chick-lit.
:: i used to follow SATC. i did like it.

gender-bender

while i'm on a tag-stealing spree... i stole this tag off pixie's...

it's been doing the rounds... and it requires you to list traits of yours that don't fit your gender stereotype.

so, here's my list of sins.

- i don't do fancy romantic dinners very well. i prefer the bar, diner environment more. i love chilling over a beer. and i think diner breakfasts are the best.

- i do not like mush. i hate roses. i hate red heart-shaped merchandise even more. the concept of fancy romantic proposals make me go blech. i do not get "hints". neither do i give them. if i want to say something, i will. and 'nothing' actually means nothing.

- i'm very comfortable in jeans/trousers. i never wore skirt-suits to work. it was always trousers.

- i am quite fond of remote controlled toy cars. and planes. in fact, i love them. i vehemently dislike dolls. barbies included.

- i love telecom. i do understand the technology. what i don't know, i learn it quick. i found it fascinating to decipher how to determine which server had better specifications. or the apps that would work best with droid.

- i was good at programming before i quit it.

- i wouldn't mind spending a day (or more) at home playing video games.

- i don't know how to be 'coy' or ladylike. if i find something funny, i laugh out loud. quite loud.

- i do not get manicures/pedicures, facials or body massages. i don't like them. in fact, i detest salons and go ONLY for the most basic things.

- i do not spend hours getting dressed. it takes me 15 mins to be completely dressed. i also shop real quick.

- i am not weight conscious. i have never dieted in my life. and would rather die than diet. i love eating.

If...

flicked the tag from trish's space...

If I were a month, I’d be December
If I were a day of the week, I’d be Friday
If I were a time of day, I’d be 23.59
If I were a season, I’d be the Monsoons/Spring
If I were a planet, I’d be Venus.
If I were a sea animal, I’d be a whale. *not getting into technicalities of an animal, here*
If I were a direction, I’d be the 'right' direction.
If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be a Bar Stool.
If I were a liquid, I’d be Water.
If I were a tree, I’d be all green & brown and have birds sitting on me... eww!
If I were a tool, I’d be a Hex.
If I were an element, I’d be Mercury.
If I were a gemstone, I’d be a garnet.
If I were a musical instrument, I’d be an electric guitar.
If I were a color, I’d be deep. deep anything.
If I were a emotion, I’d be fleeting.
If I were a fruit, I’d be an apple. in the garden of eden.
If I were a sound, I’d be the sounds of waves crashing on the shore.
If I were a car, I’d be rather driven...!
If I were food, I’d be chicken wings.
If I were a taste, I’d be bitter-sweet.
If I were a scent, I’d be plumeria.
If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be hot pink, sky-high stilettos.
If I were a bird, I’d be a kingfisher.

friends to strangers

when friends drift away, it hurts.
over time, i've come to accept it as just one of those other inevitable things that life throws at you.

it's strange. when you think u're "friends". when you believe, with all your heart, that you connect. that you 'get' each other. you share laughter and tears. and you believe that you mean as much to them as they do to you.
and then, suddenly... just like that, the person changes. so much, that you realize - eventually - that you can't relate to the new person. maybe it's not an overnight change.. maybe, while you're busy ignoring "silly signs", the other person is changing. and you refuse to believe the change, refuse to see that your friend is drifting away from you.
the proximity, the "friendship", it all disappears. and you wonder what happened. what happened that the person changed so much.

i don't think its the person changing. i think you never really knew them.
and you keep trying... to find your friend in the new stranger. not knowing that they're no longer there. it's a brand new person. and unfortunately, you don't relate to the new person anymore.
yes, you know all of this. but it still hurts. and you still wish your friend would come back.

public apologies

to friends who do not read this public space.

:: the acquaintance who is getting married next month.

i am extremely sorry that in my congratulatory mail to you, i got the name of your fiancee incorrect. even more sorry that it happened to coincide with the name of your ex. i honestly did not know that you ever dated a girl named neha. i just got confused between your fiancee's name and the name of another friend's fiancee. i kinda forgot who weds whom. you know how i am, right? right?

i do wish you, and your wife, all the very best.

:: the friend who received an offline from me saying "i lauve you so much! MUAH!" that was genuinely NOT meant for you. i do NOT love/lauve/louve you. at all. and no, i wasn't drunk. you happen to be on my gtalk JUST above dewey... given that your names are a little bit identical. and i'm even more sorry that your wife snoops on you by checking your inbox and glanced upon it. i can speak to her and clarify things. though, as you rightly said - i may just cause more damage. sigh. just sorry, ok? peace!

:: the friend (?) on FB who put up a "happy fathers day, ABC. you're very loved. hope you like your gift!" (ABC being her husband's name)

i am sorry for presuming and congratulating you - on your wall - for having had a baby. in my defense, i did not know that i should wish my husband on father's day. i stupidly thought it was meant as a special day for all fathers only. i wonder why.

yes, i've had a very busy couple of days, as you can see. what have you guys been upto? offended anyone lately?

what age would you be?

i read somewhere that "women want to remain 16 for the rest of their lives"

and i thought about it... i am a woman. and i don't think so. as in, i don't want to be stuck at 16. (just to be clear!)
in fact, i never wanted to be 16. not when i was 16, and not when i'm 30! why would i want to go back and be 16? ever?
what is so special about 16, anyway? 10th standard exams? the fact that you don't know yourself enough to answer basic questions like "who am i?"

heck, i didn't even know what 'true friends" are. i was naive, rather insecure about myself... somewhat stupid and in a hurry to grow up. but i think that the most stupid thing about me was that i thought i was smart. and therein, lay my ridiculousness.

i did have dreams and aspirations, the arrogance of making life turn my way, yes.. but did not have the knowledge or the assurance that life is life. you can will it to a certain extent... but mostly, you go with the flow and make the best of the cards that are dealt to you.

maybe that's just me. and maybe the rest of you were absolutely fabulous individuals when you were 16. but i've only gotten better. maybe coz i couldn't have deteriorated ;)

anyhoo... if there were an age i'd like to be stuck at... it would be 25, for me.
i knew myself. i knew my strengths, my limitations... my dreams and my aspirations. i looked good, i felt good. and i was finally at ease with myself. i knew the difference that separated my friends and people who pretended to be my friends.. though i'm still figuring that one out... but still, i think i was okay at 25.

yeah, i'm slow. i know. it took me 25 years to get to that place where i could say "i'm okay". but heyy, i got there. and i realized, it only gets better.

what age would you be stuck at if you had to be...?