of names. and changing them.

while doing the stereotype tag, i realized i'd forgotten to list down the fact that i haven't changed my surname after i got married. i thought about adding it there, and then didn't.

because i didn't retain my surname so i could go against a stereotype. i didn't do it to rebel. i didn't retain my name coz i'm a feminist. and not because i was leaving everything else behind anyway. in fact, i hadn't even thought about it.

i just didn't. the fact that i didn't have the time to change it when i got married was proven by the fact that nobody thought about it. and now... four years later... it kind of feels futile. now, i realize that i am not sure if i'm okay with changing my surname.

it doesn't mean that i'm not comfortable with adopting the new family.. i have done that, already. i don't need a document to prove it. it's in the conduct.

i don't get the big deal about it.

i have no qualms about admitting that tomorrow, if and when we have a kid, it'll use vin's surname. not mine. like i use my dad's.

because a name is something the parents give you. it is an integral aspect of your identity. apart from a good upbringing, it's the only thing they give you, that remains with you. forever. getting married doesn't mean that you "leave" your family or your identity. not to me, at least.

and most importantly... and this is also the reason i'm not comfortable changing my name, today... it's the only thing i have of my dad's.

i don't see the need to use vin's surname. i have him. with me. every step of the way.

the name is my way of me knowing that my dad is there. with me. every step of the way.

should i give up that feeling just for the sake of not being labelled? not worth it, i think.

namely, me.

trishna tagged me with d middle name tag. the tag also specifies that i HAVE to mention d rules at the beginning. really, now? well...yeah, rite! so, these are d rules:
a. The rules must be mentioned in the beginning of the tag. b. You must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had. c. At the end of your blog post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

no middle names for me... so i stick with RAYSHMA - err.. too long, eh? well, u asked for it!?
R - raindrops. i absolutely LOVE d feeling of raindrops on my face... and the breathtakingly beautiful visions they create in my head *and outside it* when interspersed with slight sunlight. divine.

A - attitude. i've been told i have it. and i adore it in people. in the rite amount, if i may add. not the over-bearing, "i'm-a-blessing-to-humanity" types... more the "i'm-good-and-i-won't-take-crap" types.

Y - yin-yang. two basic opposing, yet complementary cosmic forces. they amaze me. also, yin is represented by water *or air* while yang by earth *or fire*. i'm a water sign & V's an earth. somehow, i believe that we're perfect in our imperfections.

S - suruchi. my fren, fellow brainstormer, excel teacher, local guardian, mother hen, member of the esteemed "bitch klub", fellow alcoholic *sports bar, her place, enigma lounge*, one of my two support systems in d big bad city, the quirkiest individual with the most sensible head-on-shoulders attitude. bbay wudn't have been bbay if not for her. also holds the distinction of being the first person whose baby i touched. and fell in love with.

H - hungama. have met some of the craziest, zaniest, quirkiest folks here. there's something about the place that leaves its traces in u way after u're out of it. and i have no words to describe that. i now believe: u can take a person out of hungama, but u can't take hungama out of a person. *and here, i'm quoting the boss*

M - movies. hindi movies, to be precise. and d fact that i can watch any & every one of them. and appreciate them for nuances that u may miss out. i even liked salaam-e-ishq, for heavens sake. *i saw it 3 times* purely for the effort everyone has put into it to ensure that the movie flops!

A - agnostic. i don't know whether there is a god. or multiple. and since i can't be sure he exists, i can't also be sure he doesn't. there i go... sitting on the fence on this one!

i'm not tagging anyone in p'lar... so whoever drops by - be my guest and lemme know when u do this tag.