Dec 17, 2007

p.s.: a wicked me...

edited to add:
"good gurlz go to heaven,
it's the wicked ones that have all the fun...!"

now that suruchi's reminded me of the R story... i shall post it here, as a P.S. to fuzzy's tag!

R had recently joined hungama. i shall NOT say what he did there. but let's suffice it that he was new to b'bay *the big, bad city*, a little wet behind the ears, married and yet, apparently unacquainted with how wicked women can be.
R also stayed VERY near my place... and mid-way to suruchi's. since he was new, *unacquainted with local trains* we offered him a lift home with us via cab. *yeah, we cabbed it home!*

R was being typically "new". he was trying to have a conversation with us while himesh played on the cab radio. it was at the end of a rather stressful day and both of us *suruchi & urz truly* were in case-taking mode.
suruchi: so, what've u done so far? *he was new and suruchi loves interviewing such folks. only to prove that our boss hasn't done a good enuf job. yeah, she's far more wicked than i am!*
R: i'm an engineer. i've done my engg from
*we both exchange snooty "ooohh, foren returned boy looks!" and laugh. loudly.*
R: but i haven't received my degree yet. i have to collect it from them. and it's been 3 years since i completed.
suruchi: i'm also an engg. but i have my degree.
me: *to R* so u have no proof that u're an engg?
R: *not expecting THIS question* NO! i mean, yes! i have! i have the certificates and documents and *blah blah blah*
needless to say we weren't listening.

after abt 20 mins of taking to each other and ignoring R, we'd reached juhu. i thought R shud be given a "mumbai-darshan" at that point of time.
me: have u heard about beer bars?
R: *with a look like a deer caught in headlights* yeah. why?
me: there're lots here.
R: oh. *pause* ok.
me: u know how to distinguish between beer bars and normal restaurants/bars?
R: no. *with a very obviously uncomfortable look on his face*
me: *paying no heed.* well, there's an armed guard standing outside the beer bars, u know. normal restaurants don't have guards. and u can see inside... blah blah blah...
R: *wondering why i was being so informative* have u been to one?
suruchi: no, never.
me: *realizing that he prolly thot too highly of suruchi to ask her that* no. but i would love to. in fact, i always wanted to be a dancer there. meri childhood aspiration thii, to be a bar dancer.
R: looking to suruchi for solace.
suruchi: yeah. *looking at R's scandalized expressions* she can still do it, right? she'll be good at it also.
by this point, he was really really scandalized. he didn't talk to me after that day, in fact. recently when i met him in bbay, all he said to me was "ok?" and refused to look me in the eye. like i actually danced in d beer bars.

actually, i'd tried this "i-wanna-be-a-bar-dancer" stunt once before this evening also.
circa 2003: at c2w, there was this new chick who'd joined. she was exceedingly daft and not the types they normally hire. one fine day, she asked me if i wanted to go for a movie after work. i told her i cudn't because i danced at a local bar and i cudn't get late. of course, vibs helped me by confirming this story to her. daft that she was, d only way she cud react was by asking "does "CEO" know?" yeah... i'd be worried about that!

okk... enuf sed! i think i can write a book on this topic! but i promise, no more on this topic from me now!


Fuzzylogic said...

ROTFL!Does CEO know? priceless:)Nothing freaks out people more than hearing things like these!You are as wicked as me:)

Weekend,don't ask:(Crappy perhaps could be the world. Global warming and Al Gore can come and help me clear the 10 inches of snow which got heaped during the snow storm:(

Suruchi said...

hey u forgot to mention how much did R got psyched out...he left his 25k mobile phone, keys,specs,purse all in the cab that day and poor guy had to break into his own house and poor guy didnt have money to order food that day!!!.And post that he always refused to travel with us and post u left he still avoided me!!!

Lavs said...

Thank God, I was not in office with you guys. You would have made fool of me every ten seconds…..Am such a dimwit, u see!!

Suruchi said...

Did take up this wicked tag of urs!had my difficulty in finding the incident! i am so good u know..hehehe

Compassion Unlimitted said...

simply freaked out looks like,poor guy.can imagine breaking into ones own
good one

rayshma said...

comps: hehe... yeah, but not my fault that he forgot ALL his stuff in d cab! silly boy he is!

suruchi: yeah rite u're good! don't get me started on ur "goodness" towards DA, Oz, M, ur beloved "gundu" and others! :P
waise, i'm not responsible for that silly boy! maine thode hi bola tha to forget everything in d cab!

lavs: u don't come across as daft... and if u'd worked with us, u wudn't have "be more wicked" as ur new year resolutions! :D

fuzz: did al gore help thee? hehehehe... pull a fast one on him also! :D

Thinking aloud said...

really lol....that last bit was hilarious...

now, i've realised that you arwe having too much of fun and too much of m'am, you are tagged :)

a little introspection...

L E T A U R E A U said...

ROFL. When I was back in Germany, I used to fool new acquaintances people sayin I was from Afghanistan. It made conversations very interesting. I actually had to explain how the pick-up-the-dead-goat game worked.

On a totally different subject, when an elephant is charging at you, do the only thing you can do. Appear big. I've tried it on goats and its always worked.

Anonymous said...

lovely reading...!

rayshma said...

thx, kalyan!

taureau: LOL! buzkashi...! hahaha!! and, umm... ok... so, it's all in d mind, eh?!

suma: done! :)

Sarfraaz Ahmed said...

wow !! R, that chick and the peacock guy [ in another of your posts ], must be feeling soooo happy to know that you have now made them WORLD famous in the virtual world :D

rayshma said...

S: peacock guy's an ad-guy. he'll be happy with the publicity. R, avoids me too much to come near my blog! and the chick... i doubt she can read too much beyond "pantry" and "loo" signs!
and how i wish my blog were world famous! :D

Anonymous said...

can't imagine how shocked raghu must be ...he infact lost 2 cell phones in that week ... and after meeting you again in Mumbai, he lost his blackberry .... woman you have some effect on him ;)

I have joined UTV New Media Ventures Ltd. .. now so reading your blog after almost a month .. Feel like I missed a lot in the last month ...lot to catch up .. take care..


Pavi!!!! said...

Hell! u are wicked!!