i have never really known the purpose of my life. neither have i thought too much about it. i only know that i have one lifetime. and i want to live it. my way. for myself. and for the people i truly love.
saw a movie yesterday, the prairie home companion. a song from it stayed on with me way after the movie ended. the chorus is like this:
"the day is short,
the nights are long;
why do u work so hard, to get, what u don't even want?!"
i know countless people - friends, acquaintances, who're SO unhappy with their jobs. i was, too at one point of time. that feeling of being "stuck" is not new to me! i've been there, gone through that.
but now i kind of realise that there's no point chasing dreams that aren't yours. you'll never believe in them. and that's why u'll never be able to achieve them. and you can't be "stuck!" u aren't a tree! go on - march to your own drum-beat. follow your heart. it'll lead you to where's right for u. had heard it lots of times. had tried it a couple of times too. and i've given it one final shot this time! and, believe me, as is said, this path is never easy. hasn't been for me.
i've left behind everything that once formed my world * trust me, i LOVED it* and drifted away to enter this new world. *but i still have my friends with me. and they always will be with me. they keep me grounded.*
am i happy? i don't know. i don't even know how one can be happy all the time! content, would be more like it. it's like an entirely new phase. even a year back, if someone had told me that i'd be enjoying this life, *staying-at-home, cooking, non-working, non-negotiating, non-aggressive lifestyle* i'd have made them rinse their mouth. with toilet disinfectant!
but life changes. and so do we. and here i am! still soul searching. still trying to figure out whether this is my final destiny. waiting to take life on as it comes! but at least now, i'm anchored. i'm at peace. and that's a long way to come. guess, there's an equally long way to go ahead, too. but i'm prepared for it.
bring it on, life! am ready for u!