Jul 8, 2009

decadent

what with the b'day coming up n all... i was asked if i've been thinking/contemplating/introspecting... no. i haven't. somehow, the mood isn't right to introspect too much. that'll happen as it does. irrespective of the date/year...

but dewey's been nagging me... and i also want galadriel back to commenting here *she was on leave, she's back now & needs a new post to comment on!*
so, i'll try and summarize this decade. i've changed tremendously as a person in the past 10 years. i don't even know where and how to start jotting it down. most of this blog is abt the past 10 years of my life.

it all started with me leaving home... it seems so long back if i think in terms of years. but i can r'ber everything so clearly, that it seems like yesterday.

mostly, i figured things as and when... other than at mica, i never had the time to actually chew on things and then analyse. i didn't even know they were learnings till a couple years later, when i looked back and realized how much i had changed. i didn't know then, that change was not always bad. that it was inevitable to change. but i learned.

have i grown wiser over the years? i'm not sure. but yeah, i have grown up. in ways i hadn't thought possible. if i were to look at me 15 years ago - i see a totally different person. okay, not totally different. but a LOT different. more impulsive, faster to react, someone who didn't know the difference between reacting and responding... someone who took ppl at face value. someone naive... definitely a lot less cynical and a lot more self-absorbed!
but still, in a lot of ways, i'm still the same. i still cannot think beyond me and mine first. only that now, i know when to curb it. i am definitely a lot more tolerant. more at peace with myself. i know where i am... and where i'm heading. and that even if i don't always know, it's alright. i do know how to manage relationships a lot better and to pick my battles wisely. i now realize that i don't always need to be in control of everything. that it's okay to let go. in a lot of ways, i'm content. but there is still this need to know more. to try and be better. and i hope that always stays.

so well... before this post turns into a mush-fest and i get into serious introspection; go ahead & wish me. while i go off and have fun! and as long as u wish me while it's the 9th in ur country - u don't have to add a 'belated' to it! :D

23 comments:

DewdropDream said...

:D :D :D Ain't wishing you just yet ... just you wait ;)

Well, you know you did somewhat do a few things on that before you turn 30 list... that tattoo for example. Introspection ka kya hai yaar, ota rahega... abhi ke liye... I dedicate 'hum bhi agar bacche hote' and a whole many other cheesy bollywood videos tumhare naam. MUAH! Lauve you lots

Galadriel said...

heehee.. i second dewey!!

rayshma said...

G: what're u seconding her on???

dewey: yeah, i DID tick off a lot off that list! either by doing it or by realizing i didn't want to do it! :D
AND... my tattoo rocks! i'm yet to tell my mom abt it! hahahaa!! i guess i'm not growing up anytime soon, eh?

Anonymous said...

Cheers!!

I knew the bday was around the corner, but i'd misremembered the date. I was gonna say i will find it out, but you went ahead and declared it. oh well.

Not sure if i should ask.. but is it the big 30? Well, i asked anyway, so it's upto you to reply (or not) :)

i'm kinda making up for visiting this place and not commenting.. i guess you can tell. :D

~alice

Pixie said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!! :)

hope you have a great day and a Fantastic birthday!! :) :)


Me too second Dewey!

MUAH!! and Hugs! :)

Prashanti :) said...

Cool, raysh !!! budday ke kya plans hain ???? and that was a LOT of introspection dear and isnt it funny that we always try to resist change when we are at it and it always comes with the guilt of liking and taking to new ways of life.

Sun, can we please have a pic of the tattoo ??? Unless it happens to be in un-PG rated places :P :P :P :P

Not gonna say Happy bday though !! Humare yahaan the 9th comes tomo :P

for now, GO make some plans or even better, push Vin to make some plans :)

Pavi!!!! said...

Oh oh..are we suppose to mature up n introspect on the years gone by @ B’days? I didn’t do that..i never have….Hmm..i think I do that around Christmas/New Year! Before B’days..all I think about is how my B’day is goin to be n wat presents I ll get!
Welcome to my world…trust me its F.U.N

I just have to add..ur one person..whose blog when I read…I feel EVERY post reflect YOU and YOUR personality. So much so that even ur template spells Ray Ray. What I have in mind for who ray-ray is mabbe completely wrong..but that’s wat ive felt while reading every post n email of yours n it keeps me coming back:)

For tomot : Happpy Happppy B’day Gurl! Wish a u a wonderful day n an even more beautiful year ahead with loads of surprises n lot of love!

Lavs said...

I ain't wishing you here..coz i wished you first...a month in advance didn't i??:)

rayshma said...

lavs: it's okay. i can u'stand u r'ber LBs bdate! :D

pavi: thx SO much! :)
yeah, well... 30's supposed to be a landmark of sorts or something, no?! :D
and thanks a ton, gurl! i'm not very different from the blog-me... more reserved... but quintessentially, the same. hopefully, meeting me will not be disappointing to u! ;)

prashanti: yeah, that's the thing abt changing. but i think i've finally made peace with it.

yahan bhi kal hi hai b'day! :D poor vin's the harassed hubby till we get over with it. coz everything's met with a "but it's my birthday!!!!" since a week, that too! hehhehee! not that i care much abt bdays... but i sure love the nautanki! :D
tattoo ki photo... pucca! the issue with it is, it's usually with my face! :D hence, hasn't been put up here yet. will see if i can find a way thru that.

pix: thanks! :) WHAT are u gurls seconding that mad child for?!

alice: i'm damn sweet re... i even mail my friends so they won't forget! :D
yeah... i now stalk everybody who comes here. hehehee... as long as u keep visiting, u're safe! :D

DewdropDream said...

:@ Alice: She's not lying about the pestering and stalking part :D

And Catty, starting NOW, you get to be the centre of a thing G and I like to do but this being a special occasion, have taken it one step further. We call it 'Keep Catty Guessing' :D

G: Dude, you rock, I lauve you :D

rayshma said...

dewey: u're maska maaroing G only bcoz she's on my team, no?!
and dude... i have TWO new toys. u think i'm gonna be thinking of what u're upto?! :D
any spare time i get, i nag u! :D

okay... now go put up nero's last part as budday gift to me!

Compassion Unlimitted said...

Heres one Birthday wish from one Cancerian To the Other..Happy Birthday To You...9 th july I guess rt
& what a Recall post !
TC
CU

Suma said...

happy birthday girl, welocme to the 30's club!


now that th eintrospection's done and dealt with, hoping you bring your new year in with lots of fun and masti ;)

keep having fun

La vida Loca said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U!!!!
have a great day, year decade!!!!

lostonthestreet said...

Happy Bday..and did I miss any picture - of the tattoo? Me want one tattoo too..

PURN!MA said...

aye! where is my comment???? I'd happy buddayed you!
nyz Happy Birthday! I'm waiting for cake, budhani chips n return gift!

DewdropDream said...

What did I say about spending your day figuring things out? ;)

Amey said...

Heppy budday! I will join others in a loud rendition of "hum bhi agar bachche hote..." now, after I get my cake.

Ersa said...

happy happy birthday, dear!

wishes galore said...

happy birgday!!..just came to ur blog and got to read this birthday post..:))
hope u had a great time...

TheKing said...

Wish you a very happy birthday!

Prashanti :) said...

oye oye oye how did budday go ?????

rayshma said...

prashanti: patience, darl! post up NOW! :D

king: thanks a TON! :D u already know how it was! :D

wishes galore: thanks so much! and welcome here. :)

ersa: thank you! :)

amey: thx!! now, go take ur slice and sing! :D

dewey: half a day... yeah. but TOTALLY worth it dude! i should've clicked fedex guy's photo also. then i could've done a photo-post today! :D

moon moon sen: u happy buddayed me in mail. :D budhani chips from where i'll get?! go eat cheesecake.. and give gift.. then u'll get return gift! :D

lots: naah.. u didn't miss it. will put it up in a day or two! :)

loca: thanks, gurl! hugs! :)

suma: thanks so much!! yeah...lots of fun & masti happened and is happening! :D

CU: thanks so much! hope you had a wonderful day as well! hope you blog again soon. look fwd to it. :)