Sep 18, 2008

pretty good.

long back, when i'd asked u guys to tell me what i should blog abt... loca had said "blog abt how u came to terms with your looks..."

i didn't blog about it because i was way too embarrassed! :D
first of all, i never really thought i look good. *i mean, have u seen my hair???*
all my life, except my parents and hubby... i think loca and DDD are the only ppl who've called me "pretty". of course, they haven't met me! so pliss to not believe what they say! i don't look beautiful or pretty. but i still have loads of attitude! :D

growing up, i had pretty low confidence. now u've got to r'ber that this ME had a brother who was an all-rounder *studies not included in that* he sang amazingly well. played *and excelled at* soccer, cricket and hockey. got along with everyone. was smart. dressed well. had tonnes of friends. was a terror to most.
i went to a convent. i was generally treated as a snob by my bro. i was a stickler for language, dress, footwear. i matched my belt & handbag with my footwear. i painted my nails. i was rather condescending *i still am. sometimes.*
and the worst thing? NO boy ever flirted with me. or maybe i was too daft to understand that.
but really. which girl goes to 5 years of college without a single boy hitting on her??? well, ME! i did.

it was later. MUCH later. that i figured out why. after one year of post grad actually. when a batchmate pointed it out. first, it was my brother. he used to drop me to college sometimes. and most guys were scared of him. he had friends all over the place, r'ber? so he knew exactly which guy spoke to me! so, guys who were interested stayed away.
secondly, our group had guys like my brother. so other boys - the ones i may have had a crush on - stayed away. FAR away. didn't even smile at me. so i went through 5 years of college without realizing that guys would ever be interested in me!

at MICA, i was too much of a snob. i was too busy cribbing about how i didn't like the place and the food for one year to flirt or do anything else. by the second year, anyone worth being interested in was already sleeping with someone else. and that, kind of put me off.

so it was only after i started working that i realized that i didn't look too bad. but that was it. i did have ppl tell me i was 'hot'.. in fact a junior told me "i'm bragging to my pals that i have a hot, young boss" given that he was a model, it was rather flattering. but that was the closest anyone's ever come to calling me pretty.
even today, when boss offers me an assignment, he follows it up with "pls get a hair cut before you join".

i guess it works well for me. i wouldn't know how to react to compliments anyway!

p.s.: this is not for u guys to tell me i look good. i know i do. it's just an honest admission that i never knew i looked good till a rather old age!
p.s. 1: thanks, Loca, for the topic.


Galadriel said...

i wish you HAD gotten a haircut before i came to stay with you. perhaps i'd have been less frightened. :D

Lena said...

i liked the phrase when you say you realised you are not looking too bad :D
Seriously girl, such underestimation :x

Preethi said...

I swear.. I went on orkut just now and peered closely at your picture and your hair.. for some reason although I have seen many pics and think you look great (I know that's not what you want to hear.. so I will just say you look ugly), I associate you with this picture on your blog!! :)
As for the hair.. you need a hair cut? seriously!! what do you want lady a chic bob?

Ankur said...

hehe... u know wat, prettiness doesnt comes from the body but from mind... and most dont understand it.
So the jack asses actually didnt deserve u at all!!! :)

and now as u realize u r pretty, good na!! :D

and i cant comment abt ur looks as i havent seen u, if u talkin abt the picture right next to the comment section on the right... :P
u look decent!! !:D

and now as u r happily married, its the same story... :P

have fun girlie... ur story sounds like mine to me!!! :P
except the fact that change the gender... but i wont say i wasnt hit by sm1, but i think i didnt reply thinkin i m a snob!!! :P



Suruchi said...

think you rather carry yourself really well!and as far as looks are concerned,they complement your attitude to the perfection...and as you know bitches can't even dare to look pretty!LOL!

Pinku said...

like your candidness here...its difficult to acknowledge these things and I dont mean the going through college without a boyfriend bit...i mean the being thought a snob etc etc...bit.

sahana said...

prats 80!right! i have always associated the image in your blog as you! so the other pics that i have seen of you dont count!
as for the rest, relax babes! wait till u are 40 and people notice u still! thats some high! keep ur heart young always ,the glows shows even at 80 !

DewdropDream said...

You're not alone at all darling.

I didn't realise I had stop and stare worthy looks till recently :P Oh and, I went through college without being flirted with either AND have a brother who is every bit like yours and always gave me that complex. AND I'm a snob of the first order :D So there.

Umm... how can one be an all rounder if you don't count studies in it?

Pavi!!!! said... not tellin u , u look nice...coz u dont want to hear it...but this gurl u have up on ur blog is soooooooooooooo hot!
n well...looks don't last forever, attitude kinda alls good.. :)

rayshma said...

pavi: yeah, this gurl, i really like.. :)

DDD: i don't think it's necessary to be academically good to do well in life. so, yeah.. .in my dictionary, all-rounders don't have to be good at mugging from books. but yeah, they have to be good at people skills and extra-curriculars...
and gurl.. i told u there was a lot similar between us! :D

sahana: what did prats say? where? yeah, i know... i hope i manage to stay this way (or get better) by 40! :D

pinku: yeah, these days it's becoming difficult to say "i went thru college without a boyfriend" :D the snob part? well, then it was true... now, it's reserved to when i don't like people! :)

suruchi: hehee... MUAH!
if i were pretty, there'd be 'lucky' week every day! ;)

ankur: haan... i rarely understand that someone's hitting on me, actually. i don't understand things till they're said loud and clear. :D guess u've missed the previous posts on that! :D

preethi: i just want nice, smooth manageable hair! :D mine are like a cat's! :D

lena: :)

galadriel: that WAS me after a haircut. BITCH.

DotThoughts said...

well.. i think you look damn pretty and cute :) Loved the post!

Fuzzylogic said...

You had me at "Hair" Raysh:)I have struggled all my life with mine. I totally get you when you say all you want is just smooth manageable hair,I hear ya!!

Suma said...!! i hear you there...i hate my hair...

looking good is a matter of how you view yourself...i spent quite a good part of my life believing i was not good looking and now spend the present believing otherwise...when its probably the reverse now...:D

and i think that didn't make sense..never mind!!!