faith, misplaced...

heard of the woman who wanted to be superwoman? i have. and i meet a few frequently.
the woman who feels that she's the ONE.
the ONE who'll turn the cretin into human.
the ONE who'll get your agency to stick to their words & timelines.
the ONE whom every man would want to change himself for.
the ONE who'll make the khadoos client understand work pressures.
the ONE who'll cleanse the world of it's impurity.
the ONE who'll go ahead and save the world.
this of course, never happens. and it tends to leave the woman in case rather upset.
not about her own life *she's got it going for her!*
not about her own career *that's moving up the right track*
not about anyone who genuinely cares for her *they wouldn't treat her wrong. ever.*
but about a completely worthless being. whose existence shouldn't affect her at all. but it does. coz she lets it.

a fren recently asked why it's so difficult to cleanse our systems of the worthless. well, because of this same inherent, misplaced faith that women tend to have in themselves! the faith that they can change someone *for the better OR worse - that's irrelevant!* they can't. and then, they're unhappy about it.

keep the faith, but be practical. coz at the end of the day, if your happiness depends on someone else, you've got urself a problem!

all in a day's work

d boss talks:
him: u DO know that i read ur blog very diligently?
me: yes. would be nice if you read my mails as well.
him: i don't read all mails. but yes, your blog i read very carefully. maybe more carefully than V.
me: V doesn't read my blog. but yes, he reads my mails diligently. and replies as well. even to texts/calls.
him: but i know what is happening via your blog, though
.....
.....
i'll have to blog the issues as well?!? will make VERY interesting reading.

d infamous AAH:
AAH: *excitedly* i bought new PINK boxers. with "miau" on them!
me: good for u.
AAH: you'll blog about that too?
.....
.....
NO. i will not blog abt it. or will i? hmm...

client interaction:
clt: isko aur bajna chahiye? no?
me: kisko? where? what are u saying?
clt: *pointing his phone at me - which means, he's referring to either a ringtone or RBT* im saying this is very short. make it longer.
me: i can't change it. it's live.
clt: so wot to do?
me: umm... download another one?
.....
.....
i still have no idea which piece of content was being referred to.

agency interaction: *u won't get this unless you're telecom/vas/telecom-media related*
me: now that u have access, u can upload the tones. when will i get the RBTs?
them: but we're uploading the RBTs.
me: on WAP???
them: that is how we always do it.
.....
.....
no wonder u've never recd download reports!!

thought. no, thinking 4 d day...

there're days in your life. when all u want to say is:"fuck it. i'm going home"
and then, there're days in your life when you actually do it.

of human roaches...

d other day, a fren said that the burj-al-arab building reminds him of a cockroach. that set me thinking. now, i personally, detest roaches. apart from the fact that they're slimy -
- cockroaches are among the most hated insects.
- they thrive in dirt, trash and grime, but cockroaches can infest even clean and well-organized homes and buildings.
- cockroaches existed 354 million years ago.
- cockroaches display group-based decision making abilities. apparently, wikipedia has done experiments to prove this as well *researching roach behaviour...interesting!*
- pest species of cockroaches adapt readily to a variety of environments. *only d pests, mind u...;)*
- only about 20 species of cockroaches out of the 3,500 are suited to thrive in the typical home. *d rest go to office with you?!*
- cockroaches are known survivors. they can survive any & almost everything. *insults, being d least of the concerns...!*
- cockroaches are opportunistic. the slightest narrowest open window of opportunity & they can sneak in! and once in, you better get used to living with them!
- u may detest them; but getting rid of them is next to impossible

going through these factoids... it occurs to me... there're alleged humans who display all or some of these characteristics as well. there i go, supporting darwin's theory that all of us have evolved from one source. yes - roaches and humans, as well. can u come up with a better reason as to why i know someone who fits into ALL these traits? except that he hasn't been around for 354 million years. but try spending over 5 minutes of conversational time with him - feels like 354 million years! hmm... i must observe the human roach more closely on the next encounter. there must be SOME pesticide that'll get rid of him...!

count thy blessings...

me: achcha tell me something... what's the best thing about staying away from each other...?
v: *after a 10-second pause* is that a trick question?
me: no. why?
v: are u sure? coz it sounds like one. if i tell you, i get into trouble, if i don't, u'll say i don't tell you everything.
me: no. don't think so much. just tell me.
v: *obviously, still thinking* you tell me first?
me: well... i can sleep-in as late as i wish on the weekends! there's nobody to wake me up. now u tell me...
v: i don't have to bother about cleaning the house. especially the kitchen - so it's an absolute mess!! u would've killed me for it! it's that bad.
me: *after a very pregnant pause* hmm... start counting the days. and cleaning up. am gonna be back soon.

do u have it in u...?

i read on some news site that sanjay dutt took an aptitude test to decide what job he'd fit into in jail. it remained my "find-for-the-day" for a couple of days, actually. i was fascinated. by the fact that jails have aptitude tests. not that sanjay dutt took one.
aptitude tests bring to my mind a mail my coleague recently shared with me. about "the company" having arranged for aptitude tests. for all employees. all, except me! *since i hadn't got the mail*
three thoughts crossed my mind simultaneously. and instantaneously.
a. the last time i took an aptitude test
b. the fact-of-the-day that jails have aptitude tests
c. i wasn't asked to take one!!!
*given the stress faktors, i should be excused for messing up the information in my head. but honestly, i cudn't place these items in order of occurence. or importance.*

the last time i took an aptitude test was for a campus interview with Leo Burnett. in 2002. they used these tests to decide whether the candidate would be a fit for the brands they were recruiting for *at least that's what was given as an offcl excuse* evaluations were on the basis of aggression, empathy bah blah blah.
why i was not asked to be a part of this *the company one. now. in 2007.* aptitude test? well, i don't know for sure - but i think i'm neither a part of MY company, nor the client's company! which leaves me in the favorable position of not being answerable to either and the unfavorable position of getting paid by neither.

as far as my knowledge goes... aptitude tests are meant to decide whether you have "it" in you. IT here, is subjective - depends on the organization in question. from what i know of hungama, a certain amount of madness, varying degrees of tolerance, adequate doses of aggression, selective audio-visuals should serve existing colleagues well. *there are of course, as usual a list of non-printables. contact me if you want a job there and i shall brief you in detail!* if you're not mad enough, you either won't survive or you won't be hired. *depending on what stage you're at when u take the goddamn test!* that would explain why i've not been asked to take the test. i really don't need to prove my MQ to any1 there!

if they'd asked me to take the test, i wonder if i still have the aptitude or the attitude to take one...!

old enuf...?

scenario: 1st time clubbing in a supposedly rocking city - dubai.
motivation: bollywood music. and, of course, good company!
scene @ club: 10 of us reach the club. enthu levels as high as the stress levels all week.

the bouncer asks for my id. now, obviously, i haven't thought of carrying my passport to a club. having clubbed in bbay, am aware that these are prime locations where u lose ur most precious belongings. *okay, i meant tangibles. only!* so, i say "not carrying id". without so much as a second thought. and wait for him to push his gymmed-out biceps out of our way! however, he shows no inclination to move. so, i look to A *my fren* for guidance! *for the uninitiated, that is what i usually do when i expect a guy to ask another guy to buzz off. but i'm digressing...*

by now, everyone seems to know that he can't let me in without my id. everyone, except me, of course! i hate waiting. and since i had no idea that we were ALL being held up coz of ME, i very vocally said "what's the problem? can we go in?" THAT is when i was informed *by MY fren A* that he *the bouncer, NOT A!* was waiting for my id coz he wanted my age-proof. and then, they got into a "conversation":

the bouncer: no, ma'am, u'll need your id.
A: *sniggering to himself... then thrusting my ring almost into his face* Boss!! she's married n all man! she's even elder to ME!
*thanks! reminding me i'm old at the end of a stressed out day IS sure the best stress-buster* bouncer: sorry, sir. we will need to see her id.
me: *coming out of my shell-shocked state* WOT CRAP! wot id? why id? why wud i carry my passport to a disc? *turning to A* what's wrong with them?
A: *presuming, i'm drunk. explaining as they would to a child* kittie, they think u're underage. hahahaha! *he started laughing coz it was SO unbelievable for him!*

background: raghav & rupali *his wife. BOTH younger to me!* laughing away coz they either couldn't believe that the guy was such a dork or maybe, they couldn't understand HOW i looked underage to ANYone! renee and the others join them in their laughter until they realize that poo is and also looks younger to me. *by effect, obvsly, will be denied entry too.*
after a few more moments of trying to argue, we gave up. and waited for the all-influential SS *client #2* to park his car, come upstairs, use some influence and get us inside. without IDs!

p.s.: i understand that being considered younger than you are, MAY be a compliment. but i honestly, do NOT look younger than i am! except, of course, in TX! and being stopped from entering a club is not complimenting... it's embarassing!

weird and weirder...

my colleague, and very close pal, Poo joined the dubai team recently. while deciding what to wear when we go clubbing, she pulled out something which brought back memories of AAH and his designer boxers! *remember the lip-kissed boxers i blogged about?*
Poo has a T, which is IDENTICAL to AAHs boxers! except, that the T is in black as opposed to white!

WHY she bought it is something for us to guess and her to know! *Did she know of AAH's boxers? well, not till I told her!*

i wonder if it's people, the birds-of-a-feather syndrome or the company they *and I* work for that makes them weird and weirder...