one of those days...

it's one of those days. the day when i wish i could explain to myself what i'm doing here. the day i think of what it's like:
- to wake up in d morng. and not see his face.
- to not have him tell you what to have for lunch/dinner and then offer to make it for u.
- to not receive a weekend report *from V* reports received now are anything, but personal!
- to have to carry a hand-bag. and money. and a mobile. and take care of all of it!
- to not have the red coupe waiting when u get down the stairs.
- to walk down the stairs all by yourself.
- to wake up early and leave. in formals.
- to have chocolate ice cream and not have him to finish it for u.
- to actually pay for what you buy.
- to hail a cab!
- to haggle wth people on timelines for content delivery that's only going to benefit them! *haggling, fiscal prudence... whatever!*
- to be able to speak to him barely for half an hour a day.
- to be dumped in the middle of an ocean without a life jacket because you'd once said you could swim!
yeah, it's depressing. more, it's SO not worth it!

foot-in-mouth

i pride myself on being witty and being able to pull myself out of situations! usually! but the occasions when i don't manage, tend to go down in my cache... lkng back, some of my fave "foot-in-mouth situations have been...
a. i wrote a mail to my then-CEO with d subject line "jpegs to the ogre". i knew wot ogre meant. i shud've known that when my CS head told me to send files from the folder titled "jpegs for the ogre" OGRE did NOT refer to a new client! she apparently titled the folder thus, coz he *the CEO* made them sit up late and work on the silly jpegs. and i thought i was being bright by not snooping into her folders to check!
b. i'd gone for an interview *obviously, who'd want to work for an ogre!*, a decently ordinary looking man met me in the lobby and asked me my name. i was feeling unusually confident and bright. i reverted "i'm rayshma. thou art?" he was, the CEO of the company. with an inflated self-image *ego, isn't it?* and was visible all across a certain brand's hoardings in b'bay. i told u - i'm bad with faces!
c. i had been avoiding a certain vendor's call. while rushing into a client's office, i got his call again. being in a hurry, i obviously did not take his call. only to realize that he was right behind us! well, of course, i told him i was already late and he was a very imp vendor, so i would have called him after the meeting. don't think he believed me, but i guess we were too important for him to have made it an issue! i MUST mention - i mailed him y'day and asked him to get in touch coz i wanted content from them. HOW embarassing is this gonna get!!
d. my CEO's name matched my AEs. *y do these things happen with me and CEOs? well... * the AE was trying to use my phone for testing. i did not want him to. CEO was talking on HIS phone strolling outside MY cubicle! i did not know. me, after 3 mins of haggling with my AE to put my phone down, chimed out in a loud, clear voice "N, PUT THE PHONE DOWN". turned left, saw the CEO N, giving me a look which sed "r u sure u don't want to rethink wot u said". then, of course, i sheepishly clarified "N? THIS N? MY phone? hehehe" either this one had a good sense of humor or was just plain too busy to deal with mad employees. good for me.

anywez, one very important thing i learnt at my 1st job was that "when rape's inevitable, lie back and enjoy!" that, has probably helped me in these and many more situations... even the "i'm-so-dead" ones!

"design"er wear...

there've been many days that i've walked around in malls and inadvertently glanced at boxers. the kind men wear, not the ones who fight in the name of sport! having been married to someone who wears them like shorts,*at home only* i can quite empathise with the insistence on "attractiveness" & brand names in this apparel category. but i've always been quite taken aback by the designs that are available! some of them are hard to miss. there're a lot of weird ones out there. some have snowmen, some have stars, some have teddy bears, some are in atrociously bright colours, some have weird motifs, *aren't these to be worn INSIDE, unlike superman?* some are polka-dotted *for extra pleasure? oh... no, that was a different product category!* V's quite a normal individual, and sticks to the mundane ones... so I used to wonder if men actually wear these bright and weirdly fancy boxers. and if they do, WHO are they!?

and then, i saw the weirdest of them all. my old-time colleague, an indian who thinks he's a firang, and whom i shall refer to as AAH - who was in dubai for a day, and hence, to save company money *fiscal prudence, it is called* was piling on - strutting about in the weirdet boxers i've ever seen. confirming my doubts about the oddity of men out there. also, making me feel relieved about the choice of MY man, but that's another topic for another day!
AAH was wearing white boxers, with BRIGHT red corny kiss marks on them *the muuaaahhh-like ones*! i guess, it takes all of a kind...!

miss the mrs.

me: do u miss me?
v: yeah, of course i do.
me: seriously?
v: yeah. initially one-two days i didn't realize, but now i do...
me: y? ghar didn't feel empty when u went back? u didn't feel sad or anything?
v: it did. and i did feel a little low...
me: then? what d'u mean u didn't miss me initially?
v: i got a ticket on the way back from the airport. i thought i was depressed becaused of that.

p.s.: "ticket" here refers to being fined on a US free-way.

my name is...

i'd never known that i had a different or unique name till i left home. till then, there was always one or more namesakes around. it was only later, much later that i took stock of the weird and cliched reactions i garnered when i introduced myself.
here're d top reactions i've got when i told my name to people. and my reactions to their reactions. in orange.
- where's shera? *he committed suicide coz he cudn't deal with cliched statements as this!*
- is that how u spell it? *maybe. maybe not.*
- you must be a muslim. *does that really matter?*
- rayshma brings to mind the image of helen doing a "mehbooba"... a very banjara-dancer name. *wow! thanks! umm... that WAS a compliment, rite?*
- bada exotic name hai. *and aapki language mein exotic is defined as...?!*
- i've a fren called rashmi. *SO???*
- that is what your parents named you or you changed your name? *my parents named me dhanno! i preferred banjara dancer name to that of a ghodi.*
- i'm /we're gonna call you "raysh". *kyon? 'ma' ko bhool gaye?*
- that's a different name. *not really. when i was iin school, each time someone called out my name, at least 3 gurls reverted!*
- initially i thougt it didn't suit you. but well, it does. *OMG! thanks so much! what would i do without your aproval! hmph!*
it's not mandatory to be smart, u know...

FATmobile...

after being undecided whether i prefer being vella or employed...
after missing V for 5 days. and nights...
after 3 days of inadequate sleep...
after testing downloads, error messages, english/arabic portals...
after testing patience with seemingly ignorant and exceedingly daft individuals...
after trying to throw the not-so-newly gained weight around *M sed there was a connect between throwing weight and losing it. i trust her!*...
the straw that broke the camel's back was...

...the cellphone calling out "hello motu".

now even the PHONE knows! can it get more depressing!

consistently hungry

when it comes to food, i'm genuinely consistent. i can still r'ber what i like at which restaurant. and the waiters' names at most places too! of course, i shall not name anyone. what if they don't want to associate with me anymore?!

maaji sagar - for a period of 25 days, i called and ordered cheese-chutney sandwich. vibs was on leave, so there wasn't anybody to tell me that they served other food as well.

pronto's - the pollo something pasta, i think it was! *can't r'ber italian!* the guy recognized me even after a break of 8 months *i was in muscat*. when i called him after returning to b'bay, he asked "u were on a long leave. got married?" i never called them after that day! in fact, i shifted jobs! *this was NOT the only reason, trust me!*

crystal - mercifully, i had company this time. my order of paneer bhurji, chapatis and aamras was as consistent as doggie's paneer bhurji, chapati and kheer. if we'd visited them for 2 more days, i think doggie wud've got complimentary kheer for his consistency. *i'm not alone!*

muscat bakery - every afternoon, i used to have d same sandwich and mango juice. the desi uncle saved me a sandwich once when i was running late. he gave me complimentary mango juice the day i was leaving.

kargeen - i ALWAYS had d same pasta. and would think a lot and finalize on the mango juice. always.

vitthal's - sabudana khichadi without dhaniya. and aamras. suruchi kept experimenting till she finalized on her faves. by then, i didn't need to tell them what i wanted. i think they'd start up a dish of khichadi & aamras for me while they waited for suruchi to place her order. *i don't know the waiter's name here!*

barista - now this has locational significance.
::bandra-chocolate brownie with choc sauce. warmed a little. and hot chocolate with hazelnut.
::times house - apple cake with chocolate sauce. and hot chocolate. the guy actually saved us a slice on a particularly busy day. i still feel bad i didn't go and say bye to him on my last day!
::phoenix- mocha pastry. *PLZ remind me wot d exact name was?* slightly warmed. and hot chocolate with hazelnut. i can never forgive this dude. he smiled happily *wonder y HE was so happy* when he saw us walk in one day and announced, before i cud tell him what i wanted, "no mocha pastry today". JERK!

sports bar - the waiter knew where i was from, how many siblings i have, my b'day et al. once, after a p'larly long break *of ONE whole week*, we landed up at sports bar on my b'day to have lunch! while leaving, the manager actually sed "see you soon". i stayed away for a month after that!

home deli - lachcha paratha and butter paneer. 3 parathas. no dhaniya in d sabzi. one mosambi juice. i hadn't realized that i was having this regularly till the guy started recognizing my voice. all i had to say was "R bhaiyya, hungama se bol rahe hain..." and he'd say "yes ma'am. will be there in 15 mins." on days i had to order for more people, i had to call twice. and specify that i wanted more food! even if someone else ordered parathas and paneer, they'd send it without dhaniya. to rayshma. :)

laxmi - always parle g. 4 packets. INR 5 each. later, poo relieved me of this duty. she used to either go down and get them for me or call laxmi & order. it had come to a point that i thought each time i passed laxmi *we had to pass there to get to or from offc* they were pointing at me and saying "parle g gurl"

noodle bar - i ALWAYS thought a lot. and ended up ordering the same wok! i can still r'ber exactly wot i wanted in mine. when i go back to b'bay, i sure wanna have d same wok again!

someday, i hope that i shall be more adventurous in my quest for food. till then, am happy to know that people remember me and my choice of cuisine!