there are a few questions that leave me totally blank for a few seconds. what did u do for a living...? where, in india, are you from...? being 2 of those few.
now, technically... home would *and should* be pune. and it shouldn't be a question that leaves me confused. i've spent a major part of my life... well over 20 years there... i have a lot of memories - good & bad - associated with the town... my mom still lives there... so that should be what i consider home.
but it's not.
i do like it. yes. i also love the shrewsbury biscuits and bakarwadi and kayani cake. but apart from that.. and my mom, i really can't think of anything that would make me want to go back.
i think since i was 15 or so... i wanted to move out of the city. of course, dad vetoed it initially.. then gave me the option of leaving the city under two circumstances:
a. get a respectable job that you may not get here, or
b. get admission into a post grad school which is better than the ones in pune.
a, i thought was not possible without b... so that's about when i discovered about the CAT... and decided that was my only hope of getting out of town.
WHY i wanted to leave... i don't know. i just never felt "comfortable" enough there.
once i left... i never felt like going back. usually, these things happen to me in phases. i WANT something real bad... i work for it.. i get it... then i get bored and leave it and return to whatever it was i loved and had before. but not this time. i was "happy" being away from pune. i was at home in bbay. the last place i thought would be 'home' for me. *i still hate local trains and a lot of other things about bbay... but it doesn't lessen the way i love that city!*
today, when i say "i want to go home".. i really want to go meet my mom, get pampered for a while... then move on to bbay... and actually "feel" at home. for some reason... i don't see myself living in any other city! when i say home, i think bbay.
a lot of ppl think i love pune. i do give the city it's due because i have memories there... of growing up... of finding myself... but i doubt i'd defend it if there were an argument on pune v/s bbay. i know i may sound vociferous when i say "it's a great city!" but that's the way i talk. doesn't have to mean that i AM that passionate about what i'm saying! :P *i even sound assertive when i talk of B-grade bollywood films...doesn't mean i love them.*
i know it's strange... to not really associate with a city that u spent over 20 years of ur life in... but to call a place where u spent merely 6 years - home. makes me feel a little rootless at times... but well.. not everything has to make sense.
p.s.: this post is a li'l all over the place... but then it's like that in my head too...