Aug 21, 2008

good boys, bad boys...

this is typed directly into blogger.. so if it doesn't make much sense, well... it's my blog, r'ber? it doesn't generally make sense!

was chatting with a friend today. for a rather long time. and my faith
in guardian angels was fortified. he has come along at the perfect time with the perfect answers to my seemingly ridiculous questions! we were talking about relationships. and he said 'i want a girl who's hot, who's intelligent, who's sensitive to my needs, who tries to get along with my family, respects her family and who has her own identity'. *this is not quoted. this is the gist of what he said*. and his reason for expecting his girl to be like this was the nicest i've heard from any guy recently. he said, and i quote, "i expect this. because i know i will be all this in return." he also gave me details of how he'd make a good husband!
to be honest, i know u're extremely marriageable A. and if i come across any girl who i think will be right for u - trust me, i will put you in touch with her! :)

he also asked me why girls fall for bad boys. to that, i'll pull out something i'd written long ago.. but didn't publish.

men love repairing things.
ever since i was a child, i'd see dad
pulling things apart and putting them back. be it in the garage or around the house. even male friends loved to be the saviour when some gadget wasn't working. this love for repairing however, i've only seen around machines.

unlike women.
we love repairing too. but we focus more on humans. to be more precise,
boys. who need repairing. how often have you thought of why girls fall for bad boys? *not that the boy is bad, just that he's bad for her. but that's a different topic.*

it's the thrill of repairing that soul that gets to them. they believe
that they can benefit this boy. make him loyal to them. make him give up drinking/smoking. make him stop flirting with every woman who looks at him. make him fall in love with them.
but that doesn't happen, does
it? coz u can never change the inherent essence of one's being. u can temporarily mask it. but never change it. also, there must be some girl somewhere who's willing to accept the guy the way he is. with the way he doesn't fold his laundry, with his drinking, with his flirting. maybe even with his physical abuse.. and they will find each other.

then the poor girl finds solace in friends who'd always told her that he wasn't right for her. and eventually, finds another guy who she thinks needs to be fixed. and the saga continues till she realizes that she deserves better. IF she does, that is.
well, nothing that anyone
can do about it. but i'd just hope that as girls get smarter, they'd realize their worth. and stop being treated like doormats. u're not god. but u're not crap, either. and it's not difficult to stand up for yourself. u just need to try.
it's like we "need" the good boys. but we "want" the bad ones. and it's rare that we can mark the distinction.
but fret not, you will find your destiny. otherwise, it shall find you.


La vida loca said...

point well made about bad boys!

Ankur said...

all my good girl friends say this to me (coz guys cant say such thing! lolzz ), and they promise but no one has come back!! :P

i think i am unmarriageable!! lolzzzz

Anonymous said...

You can start writing your own 'Chicken Soup for the Soul'. No kidding, I think you'll rock at it!


Keshi said...

haha Ankur awww...

I guess I like GOOD bad boys...u know wut I mean nah Raysh? :)


Pixie said...


Abhigyan said...

came to your site after a long time, and must say it has evolved to greater spite of all theories which are 99% accurate, the fun lies in that 1% which is beyond theories....

on a different note, in our golden romantic time of Hindi films (Shammi Kapoor in Kashmir types), it was the other way round from your insights...the poor unemployed hero would woo and reform a rich semi-bad girl (and the villain pran would sneer) that because india was an effeminate country then??

Pavi!!!! said...

All..really ALL my crushes n relationships...have been with bad boys...I once started writing abt them, a "V-Factor" series (coz most of their names begin with V)..bu thad to i cld tell u the stories abt them offline if ur interested..

n hmm...err...i ended up marrying a Good boy!!!

Preethi said...

Good one.. loved the last lines - about the want and need :) tagged ya

TheKing said...

>we love repairing too. but we focus more on ?>humans. to be more precise, boys..

No wonder they say, it's difficult to understand women!

Mystic Margarita said...

You're right. Somehow, your post reminded me of the Frenchman's Creek!

Mira's mom said...

Hey, first time here - hopped on from Preethi's blog. Loved the way it ended. Do agree with you :)

Solitaire said...

How old is A?

Anonymous said...

good post rayshma...

tho the term bad boy of late is being hurled left right and centre at my house between te two brothers...

i'm so outdated!!!! :(

frenchman's creek? Daphne du maurier?


Pinku said...

ur friend sure has done his homework on what he is willing to give and what he expects in return. But sadly real life doesnt always come in such pre-defined neat packages. Am wishing him well in his search however.

As for the bad boy aside...they are just so much more fun to be around. aren't they? honestly?

We like their charm and devil may care attitude and then we fall for them and try to hook them...thats where the trouble starts. they are in it for fun if we follow the same principle i think it can be loads of mazaa. just dont think anything is for keeps thats all.

DotThoughts said...

good analysis.. they also have a certain "don-care" attitude that can be very attractive :) Its like being on a roller coaster ride, no?

rayshma said...

dottie: oh yes! that, too! :D

pinku: a lot of good guys are fun too! but yeah, agree that if u follow the same principles, it can be good fun! it's just when the objectives of being in a rship differ that problems arise...

suma: i don't think ur boys are bad in this sense.. don't think they ever will be! :D

sol: he's 29. but he's neither a teacher nor wears glasses! :D

mira's mom: welcome to the madness... sorry... been a bit tight on online time. will hop over soon as i can!

rita: :D

mahesh: that's y i tell u to get married! ;)

preethi: thx!

pavi: waiting for those stories... :D

abhigyan: those words mean a lot coming from u. really.
in my opinion, the girls then - in the shammi kapoor movies - weren't "bad". they were spoilt. unlike the vamps these days (like kareena in tashan). they were "reformed" by the hero.. from tight trouser wearing women into saree clad wives! reasons.. hmm... interesting food for thought, that! will think over it! :)

Pixie: thanks

keshi: oh yes! i do know what u mean! :D i lke the good bad guys ;)

alice: aww... muah!!!

ankur: olle... remind ur gurl friends... follow up karo! i follow up with most of my single male friends. so that they get married! hehehe!! :D

loca: thankee...