If...

flicked the tag from trish's space...

If I were a month, I’d be December
If I were a day of the week, I’d be Friday
If I were a time of day, I’d be 23.59
If I were a season, I’d be the Monsoons/Spring
If I were a planet, I’d be Venus.
If I were a sea animal, I’d be a whale. *not getting into technicalities of an animal, here*
If I were a direction, I’d be the 'right' direction.
If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be a Bar Stool.
If I were a liquid, I’d be Water.
If I were a tree, I’d be all green & brown and have birds sitting on me... eww!
If I were a tool, I’d be a Hex.
If I were an element, I’d be Mercury.
If I were a gemstone, I’d be a garnet.
If I were a musical instrument, I’d be an electric guitar.
If I were a color, I’d be deep. deep anything.
If I were a emotion, I’d be fleeting.
If I were a fruit, I’d be an apple. in the garden of eden.
If I were a sound, I’d be the sounds of waves crashing on the shore.
If I were a car, I’d be rather driven...!
If I were food, I’d be chicken wings.
If I were a taste, I’d be bitter-sweet.
If I were a scent, I’d be plumeria.
If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be hot pink, sky-high stilettos.
If I were a bird, I’d be a kingfisher.

friends to strangers

when friends drift away, it hurts.
over time, i've come to accept it as just one of those other inevitable things that life throws at you.

it's strange. when you think u're "friends". when you believe, with all your heart, that you connect. that you 'get' each other. you share laughter and tears. and you believe that you mean as much to them as they do to you.
and then, suddenly... just like that, the person changes. so much, that you realize - eventually - that you can't relate to the new person. maybe it's not an overnight change.. maybe, while you're busy ignoring "silly signs", the other person is changing. and you refuse to believe the change, refuse to see that your friend is drifting away from you.
the proximity, the "friendship", it all disappears. and you wonder what happened. what happened that the person changed so much.

i don't think its the person changing. i think you never really knew them.
and you keep trying... to find your friend in the new stranger. not knowing that they're no longer there. it's a brand new person. and unfortunately, you don't relate to the new person anymore.
yes, you know all of this. but it still hurts. and you still wish your friend would come back.

public apologies

to friends who do not read this public space.

:: the acquaintance who is getting married next month.

i am extremely sorry that in my congratulatory mail to you, i got the name of your fiancee incorrect. even more sorry that it happened to coincide with the name of your ex. i honestly did not know that you ever dated a girl named neha. i just got confused between your fiancee's name and the name of another friend's fiancee. i kinda forgot who weds whom. you know how i am, right? right?

i do wish you, and your wife, all the very best.

:: the friend who received an offline from me saying "i lauve you so much! MUAH!" that was genuinely NOT meant for you. i do NOT love/lauve/louve you. at all. and no, i wasn't drunk. you happen to be on my gtalk JUST above dewey... given that your names are a little bit identical. and i'm even more sorry that your wife snoops on you by checking your inbox and glanced upon it. i can speak to her and clarify things. though, as you rightly said - i may just cause more damage. sigh. just sorry, ok? peace!

:: the friend (?) on FB who put up a "happy fathers day, ABC. you're very loved. hope you like your gift!" (ABC being her husband's name)

i am sorry for presuming and congratulating you - on your wall - for having had a baby. in my defense, i did not know that i should wish my husband on father's day. i stupidly thought it was meant as a special day for all fathers only. i wonder why.

yes, i've had a very busy couple of days, as you can see. what have you guys been upto? offended anyone lately?

what age would you be?

i read somewhere that "women want to remain 16 for the rest of their lives"

and i thought about it... i am a woman. and i don't think so. as in, i don't want to be stuck at 16. (just to be clear!)
in fact, i never wanted to be 16. not when i was 16, and not when i'm 30! why would i want to go back and be 16? ever?
what is so special about 16, anyway? 10th standard exams? the fact that you don't know yourself enough to answer basic questions like "who am i?"

heck, i didn't even know what 'true friends" are. i was naive, rather insecure about myself... somewhat stupid and in a hurry to grow up. but i think that the most stupid thing about me was that i thought i was smart. and therein, lay my ridiculousness.

i did have dreams and aspirations, the arrogance of making life turn my way, yes.. but did not have the knowledge or the assurance that life is life. you can will it to a certain extent... but mostly, you go with the flow and make the best of the cards that are dealt to you.

maybe that's just me. and maybe the rest of you were absolutely fabulous individuals when you were 16. but i've only gotten better. maybe coz i couldn't have deteriorated ;)

anyhoo... if there were an age i'd like to be stuck at... it would be 25, for me.
i knew myself. i knew my strengths, my limitations... my dreams and my aspirations. i looked good, i felt good. and i was finally at ease with myself. i knew the difference that separated my friends and people who pretended to be my friends.. though i'm still figuring that one out... but still, i think i was okay at 25.

yeah, i'm slow. i know. it took me 25 years to get to that place where i could say "i'm okay". but heyy, i got there. and i realized, it only gets better.

what age would you be stuck at if you had to be...?

update

it's been a whirlwind couple of months and i don't remember all that i wanted to blog about. but i do know i need/want to blog. so update piece again.

- the move went rather well. helps to have good movers. it was a little disconcerting when it took them a little less than 15 mins to load the stuff that had taken me more than 15 days to pack. also, we had to race to get here before they did. and they still won. but i guess, i should be happy about that. if anyone wants a reference, get in touch. they were fab!

- we've settled in. ok. not all settled. but getting there. kinda, sorta. slowly. more so, coz the space doesn't permit me to unpack everything. also, we would need to change apartments in abt 6 months. so no point unpacking it all. so well, yeah. i think we're almost settled. for now.

- ARE nice desis. yes, apart from the 'smile-and-they-look-away' or the 'they-keep-staring-at-you' kinds that everybody (and me) keeps coming across and talking/bitching about on blogs. and luckily, we found them nearby. they're moving away shortly, but they've reinstated the hope that not everybody who moves here from india is prone to negative attitude/behavior towards others who have moved from there.

- got a much-needed break. that gets over this sunday. since the last blog post, we've done log-cabin camping, 1000 islands, vermont, explored the adirondacks, checked out nearby beaches and a little bit of boston already. helped that vibs and dewey were here.

- find the cutest dental hygienists. my cleaning sessions are fun, despite the fact that i HATE to go for them.

that's all that's been happening. if your'e still around, give me a shout. will let me know who all still read this space. will blog soon... soon as i remember what it was that i wanted to blog about.