u speak english...?

to all the people i've met in the past few weeks i've been here. and who, after a few words commented:
"u're indian? wow! u speak good english, man! did u learn it before u got here?"
(trust me, ALL of them said that. quote-unquote. guess, they're vocab AND intellect challenged here!)

well.. yeah! i went to school AND college, u know.
i know words which are bigger than all d words in your vocabulary put together!AND i know their meanings as well without consulting a dictionary!

i can give u synonyms for words without using a thesaurus.

i learnt english since i was 5 years old. and i speak english since then.

it is sad that i speak english better than my native language. but well, i speak that well too.

i think in english, actually.

and you know what? i speak multiple languages! and understand multiple languages. and write them too!

aint i great man!?

i mean, if there were superwoman... thatz me! rite?

c'mon now! all of u...! worship me, c'mon?

being digital...

discussion with friend. on rotating emoticons in gtalk.

me: all of them rotate. see? (display an array of rotating emoticons)
friend:(let's call him A for simplicity sake) oh wow! how did u get that?
me: d usl emoticon. try it.
A: u rock! teach me also! plzzz?
me: ??? :) simple. semi colon for d winking 1
A: huh?
:0, ;(;(,
(((
)))

it's not working. none of them. helllppp meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......... puhleeeaaazzzzeeee!!!!!

me: heyy! press a semicolon. without pressing enter, now press an open bracket.
A: ;((((((((((

me: OPEN bracket? d one above zero!?
A: thatz a closed bracket. (so much for language skills!)
me: tch! press that.
A: )))
me: progress! now enter a semicolon before that.
A: i can't get the saucepan
me: wot saucepan???
A: the mouth looks like a saucepan!
me: never mind. try.
A: tell me something.
am i destined to thrive in the dark dingy cave of analogue digitalism?

me: huh?!! no, u're fine. it's okay. itz just an emoticon
A: yeah.
me: m still ur fren, u know!?
A: thanks! i owe u one.

disclaimer: not all my frenz are like this. most. but not all.

time pass

hubby. on being asked d reason he married me. after a particularly unpleasant argument.

tell me, why did u marry me?

for entertainment.

huh?

yeah. where else do u get hi-quality, 24/7/365, desi entertainment? that too FREE!
am a true desi... how could i miss that deal?

brownie point

umm... ok.. i do as the pack says. then what? how do i know what temp to set it on...??? shud i just put it in the microwave instead? at least i can c it there?

inner voice: no, silly! recipe says oven, not microwave oven!

hmm... now what? ok, let's test it?
inner voice, again: keep it for sometime... if it feels wrong, remove the tray.

okay. so be it. (talk of blind faith. that too, in a voice which has led me astray so many times..!)

done. there! now, i just pray to god that they don't burn. or rather, the oven doesn't burn, burning down the house with it!
omigod! maybe this was not such a great idea. all i wanted was to surprise hubby with a few brownies (i think he'd be equally surprised if i made a sandwich!!!), not with a burnt house...!!

approx 18-20 mins later...

umm... should i check it it's done!? i mean, i can smell the brownies... in school, they taught us to poke a needle into the brownie to check. (haven't even come near attempting this after school...) i don't have a knitting needle! don't even know it's correct use. let me try with a knife!

whoa!! oven's hot!! okay. now HOW do i do this...? hmm... okay! have managed!!! the knife comes out dry. so? should i now switch off the oven & pull my beloved tray to safety? hmm... but the pack says 40 mins. it's just been 20 since i kept the mix in... am i sure i want to trust what my teacher in school told me abt cakes? what if things changed with time...??

well, let me risk it!

so, out comes the tray... NOW's the real test! "Wait until cool before cutting". oh hell! what kind of sadist typed all this???? first they try to burn my cake! then, they expect me to pull it out & wait???? WHO can wait with a yummy looking brownie lying on the table RITE under their nose??! geez!

so, finally a good 15 minutes later, i can wait no more. and there goes the knife to work again!

hmm...not bad! guess the ordeal was well worth it!

unemployed body, busy mind

how essential is it 2 be employed? by employed... i don't mean, busy. i mean having a job! coz thatz wot people think employment is, rite?

but since when did i start thinking of wot ppl think..? hmm... showing signs of unemployment, i guess!

if u think all day, then at the end of the day, are u still unemployed? isn't employment of the mind better than sheer employment of the body? is a 9-5 worker more employed than a writer? what decides employment? pay packets? or the payment that the mind gets for staying sharp? what if am happy without a job? maybe i belong to the niche club which feels good just thinking, writing or doing anything (non-remunerative, of course!)?

is it worth toiling in a glass office behind a workstation, just so peers, family & frenz would think u're "employed"?

hmm...

strangely usual...

Strange things happen to strange people in strange lands in strange times. Strange? Well… such is life!

I think every time we say ‘never’, god sneers… and says, “really?” Hmm… isn’t it proof enough that we inadvertently end up doing exactly what we’d said we’d ‘never’ do?! Someone up there must be getting cheap thrillz from all this!