c'mon baby, light my fire!

this happened ages ago. in a dark, dingy place we called office. was my first job.
in an advertising agency.

there was this art guy in the office who had just come to b'bay from calcutta. extremely talented guy, but he really was not conversant in english. leave alone, hindi. it was an effort to explain things to him and answer his doubts. u could never figure out whether he was actually hitting on u or being genuinely misguided by the language. he also thought he was god's gift to women. i have no clue why. the dude also loved smoking. but didn't carry a lighter or smokes. he usually flicked a ciggie off his juniors.

one fine day, while i was out in the stairway chatting with my boss - me with a coffee, she with a ciggie - dude walked out. stood in great style, leaning against the railing. then, he condescendingly glanced at us. decided, we should be blessed by His Highness and walked upto us. he looked at the boss lady, fished out a ciggie from his pocket, slipped it into his mouth, and said "heyy A, will you light my fire?"

not only did he not get his fire lit by A, he got incessantly ragged for the rest of the 3 months that i was there!

no english.

me: u kept the nutella bottle in the fridge??
V: NO!
*thinks*
i don't know.
*thinks some more*
maybe.
*realizing he did...*
why?
me: who keeps nutella in the fridge?! why do u keep everything in the fridge? i hate it! i can't apply COLD nutella to my toast. now i'll have to wait. then my toast will get cold. and by then, i won't feel like eating.
V: what's there to "feel"? u want to eat. or u don't want to eat.
me: but WHY did u keep it in d fridge.
V: it's chocolate!! how am i to know it isn't kept in the fridge?
me: because. it says so. on the bottle. in UPPER case. BOLD. in ENGLISH. see? "DO NOT REFRIGERATE" see..? why don't u read!
V: *more thinking. with a puppy face*
me no going school. so no english reading?