just like that...

i love school. and i hate school.

with equal intensity. don't ask me how that's possible. it just is.

i miss my friends. a little more than i used to. and i still haven't made much of an effort to connect with them. i think i'm just a little too tired to reach out at the moment. and i hope they'll hang on. and be patient with me.

it's strange. how on some days, you want some friend to be there. not just any friend. you want 'a' particular friend on 'a' particular day for no particular reason.

when you start forging new friendships, you crave for the familiarity of the older ones. even while you're still trying to figure out how much you can rely on whom. and you realize that the traits you're looking for, the familiarity you're seeking, will never be found in another. that you have to get acquainted with people with a clean slate. a clear mind. no biases. because when you harbor biases prior to making friends, when you think "oh, that's so like XYZ..." you more often than not end up trying to be friends with the wrong people.

and it's so not worth the effort.

thoughts for the week.

as always, since there's too much brain freeze for a proper piece... a quick update... lest you think i'm dead and gone... wanted to do mini posts on each. but, then again, one post should suffice.
:: made my first snowman. ever. not for this season. yeah, i know.

:: realized what it feels to be 'dependent'. in more ways than one.

:: some ppl need to know that not everything is to be told to/discussed with everyone. irrespective of how close you may be. there are some things that shouldn't be asked. they will be told, if they need to be. if they're not, it doesn't concern you, in any way.

:: there's this constant 'need' by ppl to be competitive, to be the 'best'. a need, that is not understood by me. i can understand wanting to better yourself, not wanting to be better than someone else. that is where i lose the track. i revel in being average. i 'want' to be average. normal. okay. maybe that's the problem with me.

:: i believe every person enters our lives - unintentionally, most of the time - with an objective. once that objective is accomplished, they move out of our lives. if we're still in each others' lives... we have a greater objective to achieve.

:: if we were to consider our blogs as brands... are we, then, to blog only keeping in mind the blog's core identity? for instance, if 'inane' is the forte of this space, am i not to blog abt anything that may make sense?

oh, dear!

me: vin, cut your nails, dude...
vin: no, it's a defense mechanism. i will not cut.
me: defense?? when a deer crosses your path, you'll attack it with ur claws?
vin: not that deer. YOU, dear. this is all for you!

me chatting with a friend this morng, typed "MIAOWWW" in his window instead of deweys.
me to dewey: dude, i just typed your miaow in Ms window and he asked " subah kya maarke baithe ho aaj?"
dewey: tell him "maowjito hai"

again, chatting with dewey... she types a whole lot of sentences. me, who is busy trying to catch snowflakes... doesn't get the drift:
me: eh? what... who ? taiwan??
dewey: haan. taiwan. tum kya behosh hoke abhi uthi ho?

me to vin: nobody loves me.
vin: suruchi ko bolu kya?!

me telling G that when i told my ma abt baby bear, she thought it was a VERY little baby and said "uthaya nahi usko?"
G: tell aunty that if you'd uthao'ed that baby, then her baby wouldn't be here today!

well, that's what we've been upto.

what do you do...

...when u realize that someone you were talking to was trying... really trying, to annoy you. and is now annoyed themselves. bcoz you didn't get annoyed.
in fact, you didn't even realize the attempt. but then, it's been brought to your attention by a mutual friend. and u're amused, at the most. by how much effort ppl need to put in simply to annoy you. and fail to understand why it would be worth the effort.

what do you do, then? do you...
a. go ahead and remain unaffected... annoying the person who was trying to annoy you.
or
b. pretend to be annoyed and let the person be happy with their cheap thrills.

hmm... the nonsensical quirks of human beings!

edited to add:
here's what i do: i blog about it, knowing fully well that said friend reads this space. and is going to be more annoyed now. THAT is how I get my cheap thrills. sulk not, my friend! such is life! :)

at ease...

:: lying around in bed... too lazy to wake up... too awake to go back to sleep...
planning an unplanned day... waking up once u decide to 'take it as it comes'...
:: randomly bickering abt mucking up the kitchen over the dinner he made last evng... not really caring abt it tho...
:: morning session of nat geo/discovery/animal planet... discussing if you should relocate to africa...deciding against it.
:: lazy languid afternoons... on the couch.. surfing channels... watching arbit movies that interested u once-upon-a-time...
:: beautiful day outside... mild sunshine... pleasant breeze... the joy that spring brings with it...
:: a nice drive around the countryside... conversation bringing as much pleasure as the silence...
:: meeting friends for dinner... the laughter that stays with you... makes you apppreciate what you have rather than dwell on what you don't...
:: a walk in the evng breeze... over lit path-ways which will soon be insect-infested... over unlit paths which make it all the better...
:: watching movies till late... without so much as a glance at the watch....
no haste.. no hurry... no worry...
just togetherness.
been a while... will be a while again... till there comes a day that'll be so peaceful... so relaxed...

the little things, that make happy memories. completely unexpected... unplanned... simple... beautiful.

just a thought...

they say that it takes adversity to bring out the best in a couple. that if a couple stays together... stands by each other through difficult times... then they will stay together no matter what.

i wonder how a couple would know that they've been through enough? it's one thing to say "i know we will be happily together, forever" and it's another to really really understand and mean it.

and once they know... do the tough times stop? or is it like the GRE... if you manage to survive through the tough times... going forward.. they only get tougher?

edited to add:
'forever', for the purview of this post, refers to "till death do us part".

remember the time...?

sometimes, i think a bad memory is a wonderful thing to have. when u can't rber where u were ten/fifteen years ago... with whom or what you were doing/saying... i think it would be wonderful to be like that.
me? i vividly r'ber every random detail of my life. i have to think, of course... and it sometimes just comes to me.. without a reason.
for instance:
i r'ber the license plate of the fiat we had when i was 5.

i r'ber the license plate of the school bus which i used to take to school. and the driver's name.

i r'ber getting home my first kitten... i must have been around 5 or 6... we got her from one of dad's friend... i r'ber their house in detail though i've never been there again.

i r'ber that a friend of mine from school borrowed this really cute skirt i had - and she didn't return it. the wierd thing is, i didn't r'ber this back then... when i should have asked her. i r'bered it this morning... while making bfast. and i rummaged through my belongings to see if i still had it. then i called mom and asked her if it was home. she didn't r'ber what i was talking abt.. so i had to explain, in detail! *yeah, i'm quite irritating that way when i want something!*
and now that it's not there.. i rber that she'd borrowed it... and that was the last i've seen of it. sigh.

i r'ber what i wore on my bday when i was 8.

i r'ber refusing to eat rice with my hands when i was 9... we'd gone to a rel's place and they hadn't given me a spoon or a fork.. and i asked them for one. i was told "rice should be eaten with your fingers only" and i said "i don't think i want to eat rice then".

i r'ber names of girls from school... some of whom i've never spoken to.

i r'ber this guy i knew - via some friends - going through a really bad time after his girlfriend dumped him. and i don't think i've ever spoken to him.

i r'ber C teaching me how to apply eye-liner when we were back-stage at a college do. actually, i owe all my make-up tips to her. and to think we went to the same school and hardly spoke to each other there!

i r'ber bdays of ppl i have hardly known. really. i still r'ber one of my friends ex-boyfriends bdate. i'm sure even she must have forgotten it by now!

i r'ber the number of the first credit card i had. this was abt 8 years ago... and i have no reason to r'ber it. funnily, i don't rber vin's CC number!

i r'ber when vibha and i were first introduced, after my interview at c2w - she was planning the office party, and i was the new recruit - her first line to me was "hi!!! so, what do u drink? beer, vodka, whiskey?" while i stared at her and contemplated my decision. from then, to now... i've sure come a long way!

i r'ber losing my wallet and having to take the auto to a friend's place so he could pay it off. then i borrowed money from him till i could get my new debit card! it took 2 weeks, for them, to give it to me. and yes, i paid him back.

i r'ber suruchi saying to me - after a couple days of us having been introduced - "thank god u're normal!"

i r'ber the first time vin and i mailed each other. i don't rber any of the mails after that.

obviously, memory retention doesn't seem to be selective here. so i r'ber all the good, not-so-good and the bad things. about random things and ppl who hardly affected my life even then. and i can't help but think that i'm forgetting some important things. important to me, maybe. bcoz there can be only limited space, right? only so many sections for memories? and mine are crammed with irrelevant details. no wonder i forget SO much that i should remember! it's not coz i'm getting older. it's coz i'm out of space!

flying update

yes, i know this space has been neglected. not ony did i miss it myself.. i also got ur mesgs/mails to the effect. and yeah, sorry that u couldn't comment - i couldn't either!
on one hand, i'm really glad u guys miss me... on the other, i WISH i could blog right now. i have posts in my head... but when there's so much going on... all i can hear is white noise! BUT... here's a quick update on things:

first things first - yes, this space has another look. and this one's gonna stay a while. coz i quite love it. and of course, it has been blessed by "the bhai"
thanks lavs! really appreciate the help.
and i hope YOU who read from ur blackberry and other fancy gadgets can read this fine now. gosh! the trouble i go through for u guys...! and no appreciation i hear! hmph!

dewdrop's left. and i'm missing her terribly. but the child's having fun at home. and has assured me she shall try and visit me next year.

i leave in four more days. yes. sunday night i shall step into what i've called home-turf for the past coupla years. thanks to office, i have a lovely half-way across america flight... and given my trysts with folks at airports... i shall keep you updated with airport stories, as always.

highlights of the week:
overheard in a tube - a firang asking an indian "how IS it that all of you know computers? is it like a religion, there?"

the boss called up Vin.
Vin's message to me : "the boss had called. i thought he had a job for ME. :("

a firang client calls and says "kya tum mujhey weekly top 10 send again please?"

okay... that's all.. and since i leave sunday... this also means that i will return the laptop saturday. and will be offline at least till monday.
given these are my last few days... i am kinda drowning in stuff to do before i leave... so will catch up on ur blogs & reply to comments soon as i can!

y'all be good...and in case i don't see you till then... happy holidays!

edited to add: you CAN leave comments now. thanks, lena... really! :)

the "beast" is here as well...

the beast from the "now-i'm-on-sabbatical", "now-i'm-not" galadriel is visiting. and wants me to write 6 random things about me. i'm not sure what she - galadriel, not the beast - means by that. and despite some clarifications on gtalk, i'm still confused. as to what is expected from me. but i got the words RANDOM and SIX points. and ABOUT YOU. NOT ANYONE ELSE. so, ok. here goes:

1. i have gone thru bhojpuri songs and videos. and checked for "quality". which essentially meant that 93% of them got rejected owing to visual obscenity or vulgar language or double entendre lyrics. i actually knew lyrics to bhojpuri songs. was an occupational hazard. and no, i don't do that anymore.

2. i want to go to the thames wearing a saree, carrying a ghada and fill the ghada with water. *it being london ka gangajal and all.* and play a recorded remix *the shyla lopez* version of "baahon mein chale aaaaooooo...". recorded, bcoz i can't sing. dewdrop's gonna help me with this. considering that i don't have a saree.. and don't know how to reach the water of the thames! *i can SEE the darned river... but can't get into it. not that i've tried. but still*

3. i stopped going to temples because i was wary of leaving my footwear outside. eventually, i wasn't very sure of the whole concept of "god". but i don't believe in making a scene out of it. if it pleases my mom, or my MIL, i'll do a puja. it doesn't hamper my beliefs.

4. i don't care much for shopping but can spend hours in a supermarket. or a bookstore. i love observing packaging. and i find supermarkets very interesting. i can also spend DAYS doing nothing... i can be comfortable perched at a
corner observing the world go by. and never feel like i've wasted a minute. i am also intrigued by book covers. i r'ber the covers... long after i've forgotten the contents.

5. i'm rather good at maintaining professional relationships. and no, this isn't my superiority complex talking. i really am. *any prospective employers reading?? pls read only this piece!* i am also darned good at spotting typos.

6. i remember random crap that is of no use to anyone or me... like the license plate number of dad's cousin's car. or our old landline number. or the birthdate of a remote acquaintance's kid. or the colour of the wall behind the tv in vin's sis's apartment. or the exact shade of grey that i wanted my room to be. or my first mobile phone number.

i'm supposed to restrict this piece to 6 points. there are, of course, the other points i told u offline, galadriel. but those can't be blogged. and now it's a little past mid-night. and i need to sleep.
pls feel free to take this up as a tag or drop me six random things abt u as a comment. so liberal we are, around here, these days!

billo rani... wanted!

as most of u already know.. the n'bours cat stalks me.
so we *dewdrop and urs truly* decided that a good solution would be to get him married.. that way he won't have time to do these trivial things *but i can't be sure as K pointed out. one can never be too sure of males, he said* and i can enter and leave my house in peace. and on time. *had to play with the cat is my excuse for getting late, as of now*

so.. my gtalk mesg today read "need to find a bride for Chocolate"
dewdrop's status mesg read "a cat called nimbu" *no, this had NOTHING to do with mine*
so i changed mine to "will nimbu marry chocolate?"
to which dewdrop changes hers to this:
dewdropdream: A cat named Nimbu. Will Nimbu marry Chocolate? Will their kid be named Jaffa? Watch this space for 'Miaow! A Love Story of two cats in a world gone to dogs'

now i have to sue her. since i have the digital rights to that production. and she is misusing it.

after some consideration, and a serious conversation *with her, obviously* on how "nimbu & chocolate" is not a good combo.. i changed my mesg to "any1 got an eligible "biscuit"?

had an interesting conversation on this status mesg with a hitherto, somewhat sane friend, K! :D *this is reproduced here without permission. hence link to K's blog shall not be given*

K: now u wanna fix chocolate with biscuit?
me: better combo na?
nimbu chocolate... thoda weird tha! :D
K: hehehehe :D
ask for "billo rani"
me: HAHAHAHHAAA
K: and then sing
"billo rani - kaho to tumhe chocolate de doon"
me: haan.. that content is also ours! :D
K: even chocolate will be happy tht he gets the queen amongst cats
rathen than nimbu or biscuit
me: true.. very true
and mera stalker hai.. thoda standard bhi maintain ho jayega mera! :D

so that's that. and since i have work to focus on... and since i'm highly incapable of asking random cats out for other, random stalker cats... i shall do what i do next best. blog it.

p.s.: someone tag me plz? or i'm gonna continue with this inanity and then some day see how ridiculous i sound and quit blogging.
p.s.1: for the uninitiated, "billo rani" is a song featuring john & bipasha, from the Bollywood movie - GOAL. go youtube it, if u wanna see/hear it.

u tell me...

the most common excuse for not blogging is that people are busy with "real life". no, i'm not gonna use that. real life is not exactly happening at the moment. despite having re-viewed the dark knight in houston. despite having met sneha for a brief 2 minutes. despite opportunities coming up and going away. despite apartments to be moved out of and into. despite having to sell my beloved couch on which i perch my fat ass! despite the impending cleaning of the existing apartment, so we get our deposit back. despite MIL reaching in 2 weeks. it's not exactly blog-material now, is it?

i haven't been blogging.
because i have nothing to blog about.
but yes, i DO want to blog. and no, i don't want to do tags.

so tell me what i should write. and maybe, if i'm done packing a portion of my closet today - i'll get to it 2mrw.

off i go... resting the fate of this space into the able hands of all 10 of u who regularly visit this space. i trust u.

random daftness

some people seem to believe that sharing information is unnecessary. esp if it's something the others can use.
the lady at the apartment office, for instance.
us: is the apartment furnished? or are we getting one of the unfurnished ones?
her: well, i can't tell you that as of now.
us: we need to shift in on sept 1. would the apartment be available then?
her: umm... i really can't say yet. u'll have to check.
us: where could we check? *hoping this would be available online*
her: you'll have to call me after a couple of days.

sigh! after all, it's no fun if there's no mystery in changing apartments, right?
----------------------------------
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we'd called chilli's on saturday night. and i spoke to a rather enthu girl there.
her: hi, this is chilli's!!!!
me: heyy! we were wondering if it would be fine if we got there in another 20 minutes?
her: sure! welcome to chilli's!!! *yeah, rite!* would you like the address?
me: umm... no. thanks. but till what time are u guys open?
her: we're open till mid-night on the weekends!!
me: OKK. it's 45 past mid-night right now. are u sure we can still come by?
her: OH! no. then, i guess, we're closed for today.

really? then u GUESS?

devils, y'all...!

over the years *don't ask how many. that is not d point of this post*, i have realized that there IS a pattern in the people i really really like. there are some basic characteristics which HAVE to be there. spoke to four of them today... and suddenly noticed the pattern. so thought would chronicle it. what else is this blog for! tags?! :P

:: they're intelligent. not the bookish sorts. street smartness, wit, the ability to analyze situations & people... perpetual intelligence? that types.
:: they are possessive. not obsessive. but for instance, if they were bloggers and found out that i read someone else's blog more frequently than their blog, they would be genuinely offended. and would hate the other blogger. and tell me that to my face. *psycho? yeah... a bit!*
:: they realize that being called "pretty" or "nice" is not a compliment.
:: they read. hi-fi literature, dictionaries and comics. and are not ashamed to be seen with chick-lit/comics publicly.
:: they have the ability to constantly surprise me. yeah, unpredictable, it's called i think.
:: they believe, no... they KNOW, that if people get to know them better, they won't like them. *it's usually true unless it's someone like me who gets to know them better*
:: they can laugh through absolutely trashy bollywood flicks. and watch them repeatedly.
:: they are not ashamed to admit they like a couple of himesh-composed *not sung* songs. *oh c'mon... it's not all crap!*
:: marital status is not a life/lifestyle-changing scenario for them. it doesn't change the way they look at u or the way you should look at them. they will still call u at 3.30 in the morning if they need to talk to u. and u have to answer.
:: they have an astonishingly sound sense of humor. despite the trashy bollywood flicks. i think it comes with the intelligence.
:: they're VERY confident. to the point of being perceived as arrogant. they're not arrogant, tho. it's just that being aggressively, assertively confident is sometimes perceived as arrogance.
:: they're extremely social. just selective about whom to be social with.
:: a lot of people find them intimidating.
:: they know when to be mature and when to behave like their own 3-year old selves.
:: they all sympathize/empathize with Vin.

and how many of these specimen exist? on last count, there were nine of them. nine devils of the same type. but unique in their own, weird way. nine devils who can kill me or kill for me. whom i can count on to be there for me at ANY odd hour. not bad, i think.