mindless!

vin and i share differing tastes in ice cream flavors. i like only the dark choc types. and while he likes almost all ice creams, he's not so fond of the chocolate ones. *this, of course, doesn't mean he won't eat it.*

y'day post dinner, we were pigging out on a large tub of dark choc ice cream. one that he got ESP for me, apparently.

he was eating it with a rather morose expression on his face. which prompted me to ask "why so serious?"

vin: this is REALLY good, you know? i didn't know i liked it.

me: i know. mast hai na?! but what's with the sad face?

slight pause while he contemplated being honest with me.

vin: you had to 'tell' me i like it. i have no mind of my own!

biker chic

on the way back home from a lovely weekend at the beach, a group of bikers pass us... conversation, automatically, veers to bikers. and my fascination for the breed.

me: would be SO kewl if you had one of those bikes, no?
vin: for you, you mean?
me: of course! i already have a tattoo, leather boots, jacket and an 'i-give-a-fuck' attitude. i almost qualify for being one of them!
vin: hmm... the pillion seat is called a bitch seat.
you TOTALLY qualify for that!

too much love is happening

me: u know suruchi has ALREADY bought the cutting glasses i was telling ma to pick for us. WITH the stand!
vin: you had told her also?
me: i didn't tell her! she got it last week only. BEFORE i thought of it!
vin: then why did she buy them?
me: i dunno. telepathy. she thought i'd want them! that is JUST so sweet na!

pause.

vin: i'm even MORE scared of her now. this is sweet, but it's so scary!! how did she know!
me: she knew. bas! and i think it's damn sweet!

after abt 5 mins of thoughtful consideration, while i chomp down on pizza, the man makes a puppy face, looks extremely forlorn... and says...

you know... i can never love you that much.

for 'better' or for 'worse'?

after a really genuine attempt at seizing the cheese fries out of vin's hand... i failed. i don't take that very nicely - not winning, that is. so i did what i do best. i used the claws.
and then, i did what i do next best. i made puppy faces, so he won't get too bugged. *yeah, that still works - depending on the seriousness of the damage.*

he looks at the gash, then at me. and quips:
"thank god you're the better half. wonder WHAT would happen if you were the worse."

age old issues?

fri evng... chicken, beer and the 70s show...
i, of course, take it upon myself to make it trivia time!

me: *referring to ashton kutcher* heard of how he won over CNN on twitter?
vin: eh? no. cnn, the channel?
so i tell him in as great detail as i can r'ber.
me: ... and demi moore said...
vin: why was she commenting? who asked her?
me: huh? she's his wife no? she was doing wifely thing by saying...
vin: WHAT?? WTF??? really???
me: hehehe.. this is hilarious...!! u didn't know!? :D
vin: of course not! why would i... but really??
me: what're u so surprised for?
vin: she's a LOT older than him... no?
me: hahaa... you also like older women. and she's hot.
*still in shock abt kutcher's marital status*
vin: huh?? yeah.. but old is not... not that old... around your age is okay.

ouch! really. ouch!
*no, the rest of the conversation cannot be blogged*

billo rani... wanted!

as most of u already know.. the n'bours cat stalks me.
so we *dewdrop and urs truly* decided that a good solution would be to get him married.. that way he won't have time to do these trivial things *but i can't be sure as K pointed out. one can never be too sure of males, he said* and i can enter and leave my house in peace. and on time. *had to play with the cat is my excuse for getting late, as of now*

so.. my gtalk mesg today read "need to find a bride for Chocolate"
dewdrop's status mesg read "a cat called nimbu" *no, this had NOTHING to do with mine*
so i changed mine to "will nimbu marry chocolate?"
to which dewdrop changes hers to this:
dewdropdream: A cat named Nimbu. Will Nimbu marry Chocolate? Will their kid be named Jaffa? Watch this space for 'Miaow! A Love Story of two cats in a world gone to dogs'

now i have to sue her. since i have the digital rights to that production. and she is misusing it.

after some consideration, and a serious conversation *with her, obviously* on how "nimbu & chocolate" is not a good combo.. i changed my mesg to "any1 got an eligible "biscuit"?

had an interesting conversation on this status mesg with a hitherto, somewhat sane friend, K! :D *this is reproduced here without permission. hence link to K's blog shall not be given*

K: now u wanna fix chocolate with biscuit?
me: better combo na?
nimbu chocolate... thoda weird tha! :D
K: hehehehe :D
ask for "billo rani"
me: HAHAHAHHAAA
K: and then sing
"billo rani - kaho to tumhe chocolate de doon"
me: haan.. that content is also ours! :D
K: even chocolate will be happy tht he gets the queen amongst cats
rathen than nimbu or biscuit
me: true.. very true
and mera stalker hai.. thoda standard bhi maintain ho jayega mera! :D

so that's that. and since i have work to focus on... and since i'm highly incapable of asking random cats out for other, random stalker cats... i shall do what i do next best. blog it.

p.s.: someone tag me plz? or i'm gonna continue with this inanity and then some day see how ridiculous i sound and quit blogging.
p.s.1: for the uninitiated, "billo rani" is a song featuring john & bipasha, from the Bollywood movie - GOAL. go youtube it, if u wanna see/hear it.

random daftness

some people seem to believe that sharing information is unnecessary. esp if it's something the others can use.
the lady at the apartment office, for instance.
us: is the apartment furnished? or are we getting one of the unfurnished ones?
her: well, i can't tell you that as of now.
us: we need to shift in on sept 1. would the apartment be available then?
her: umm... i really can't say yet. u'll have to check.
us: where could we check? *hoping this would be available online*
her: you'll have to call me after a couple of days.

sigh! after all, it's no fun if there's no mystery in changing apartments, right?
----------------------------------
----------------------------------
we'd called chilli's on saturday night. and i spoke to a rather enthu girl there.
her: hi, this is chilli's!!!!
me: heyy! we were wondering if it would be fine if we got there in another 20 minutes?
her: sure! welcome to chilli's!!! *yeah, rite!* would you like the address?
me: umm... no. thanks. but till what time are u guys open?
her: we're open till mid-night on the weekends!!
me: OKK. it's 45 past mid-night right now. are u sure we can still come by?
her: OH! no. then, i guess, we're closed for today.

really? then u GUESS?

of extra marital sex...

another arbit snippet of conversation. bcoz what is this blog, if not a public display of the inane conversations me & mine keep having.

or, the way i see it, our new-found logic of why ppl have extra marital affairs/sex.

vin: u know, the male population is far more than the female?
me: stale data. so?
vin: hehe... wonder what happens to all the single men...
me: what happens bole toh?
vin: as in, if all the women get married, whom do these men end up with?
me: oh.. that! they probably just have sex with the married women.

non-stick generation

my aunt was here last week. and we were gossiping about some of my frenz she knew when i was in college. now, most of those were dating each other back then. eventually, they broke up, dated other people... and then married someone completely different. not all. but most of the ones i'm still in touch with.

so my answer to most of my aunt's "did X marry Y?" or "are F & G still together?" were... "umm... NO".

at the end of this quiz session... my aunt's words of wisdom:
"your entire generation is non-stick! everything from ur cooking pots to ur relationships. you people are just too scared to let anything stick. wonder what has gone wrong where...!"

my take on this...? my cooking pots may be non-stick. but r'ships... well, i intend to stick with this one!

home humor

the random conversations over the past week or so that i couldn't blog. but i said i would. my 'vishesh tippani's' in blue.

seeing me typing furiously at the comp. and smiling to myself...
vin: what's keeping u busy?
me: baby-shower planning hpng. for blog-pals.
vin: who had a baby now?
me: had no... will have. and this'll be a surprise for them. so kewl na?!
vin: baby-shower without baby. hehee...

SIGH!
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

at the grocery store.
me: u want shampoo?
vin: no.
me: hain? dude, the last time u bought shampoo was almost a year ago, no? how come u're still using it?
vin: bcoz i use ur shampoo! :P

he then runs away gleefully to ice cream isle. while i stand trying to decide between extra conditioning or usual.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

in d morng, before he leaves...
me: take ur keys.
vin: y? won't u open the door?
me: i can't see out the darned peep-hole. so i don't open the door.
vin: i'll hoot like this. *standing OUTside the door and hooting like an owl!* then u'll know it's me!

he's very bright no, my man?
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

me: poo might come over in july.
vin: *with a puppy face* u keep saying x will come, y will come, z will come. nobody actually ends up coming.

how much u gurls break his heart!
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

vin: tell suruchi to get us disney movie tickets no? *she works at disney*
me: why don't you tell her?
vin: hehe... what if she yells at me?!

oh, boy! can't argue here. even i'm scared of her. :(
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

me: ur galadriel is going to start a porn blog.
vin: wow! so kewl!!
pauses. thinks.
where will she get the content from...?

he'll get along so well with 'the boss'. sigh! what have i gotten myself into?

ok, folks... see u around... pending tag coming up after suruchi writes me a 250th post. if she doesn't write in by monday, there will be no celebration. :(

i ate it all...!?

a mail interchange between me & mine.. this noon. it's extremely amusing, to me. and i HAD to post it here. so i could always r'ber it!
the lines are verbatim. from the mails.

mail 1:
vin: lunch is awesome....:)
did u give me all of it or u kept some...
reply:
me: gave u all of it. enjoy! :) *i usually cook dinner*
reply-2-reply:
vin: :(.. we dont have anythin to eat now...??

P.S.
i would like to clarify that we DO have food to eat. or rather, we will. once i stop blogging, get off my fat a$@# and cook!

it's about d money, honey!

me: u know what... mishra bought me today. on facebook. for $571.
vin: he did what?
me: bought me! and then mailed me saying "i've bought u. now u have to call me 'master'".
vin: hehee
me: what hehehe? moron! and u're okay that he bought me?
vin: hmm... yeah. he knows u well enough. but how can he buy u?
me: there's some app on facebook that lets u buy & sell frenz. u're okay with guys buying ur wife???
vin: arre? u shud be flattered he wants to buy u after knowing u so well!
me: *stunned into silence. thinking "he shall pay for this later* achcha?
vin: let's do one thing. let's tell him that when he has to return u, he pays me $1000.
me: what?
vin: *obviously very pleased with himself* yeah, return policy! buy at own risk. return for $1000.
me: who will pay whom here..?
vin: HE will pay ME when he wants to return u. that is why it's a return policy. also, we're sure to earn the $1000, hai na!?

p.s.: a wicked me...

edited to add:
"good gurlz go to heaven,
it's the wicked ones that have all the fun...!"

now that suruchi's reminded me of the R story... i shall post it here, as a P.S. to fuzzy's tag!
R had recently joined hungama. i shall NOT say what he did there. but let's suffice it that he was new to b'bay *the big, bad city*, a little wet behind the ears, married and yet, apparently unacquainted with how wicked women can be.
R also stayed VERY near my place... and mid-way to suruchi's. since he was new, *unacquainted with local trains* we offered him a lift home with us via cab. *yeah, we cabbed it home!*

R was being typically "new". he was trying to have a conversation with us while himesh played on the cab radio. it was at the end of a rather stressful day and both of us *suruchi & urz truly* were in case-taking mode.
suruchi: so, what've u done so far? *he was new and suruchi loves interviewing such folks. only to prove that our boss hasn't done a good enuf job. yeah, she's far more wicked than i am!*
R: i'm an engineer. i've done my engg from
*we both exchange snooty "ooohh, foren returned boy looks!" and laugh. loudly.*
R: but i haven't received my degree yet. i have to collect it from them. and it's been 3 years since i completed.
suruchi: i'm also an engg. but i have my degree.
me: *to R* so u have no proof that u're an engg?
R: *not expecting THIS question* NO! i mean, yes! i have! i have the certificates and documents and *blah blah blah*
needless to say we weren't listening.

after abt 20 mins of taking to each other and ignoring R, we'd reached juhu. i thought R shud be given a "mumbai-darshan" at that point of time.
me: have u heard about beer bars?
R: *with a look like a deer caught in headlights* yeah. why?
me: there're lots here.
R: oh. *pause* ok.
me: u know how to distinguish between beer bars and normal restaurants/bars?
R: no. *with a very obviously uncomfortable look on his face*
me: *paying no heed.* well, there's an armed guard standing outside the beer bars, u know. normal restaurants don't have guards. and u can see inside... blah blah blah...
R: *wondering why i was being so informative* have u been to one?
suruchi: no, never.
me: *realizing that he prolly thot too highly of suruchi to ask her that* no. but i would love to. in fact, i always wanted to be a dancer there. meri childhood aspiration thii, to be a bar dancer.
R: looking to suruchi for solace.
suruchi: yeah. *looking at R's scandalized expressions* she can still do it, right? she'll be good at it also.
by this point, he was really really scandalized. he didn't talk to me after that day, in fact. recently when i met him in bbay, all he said to me was "ok?" and refused to look me in the eye. like i actually danced in d beer bars.

actually, i'd tried this "i-wanna-be-a-bar-dancer" stunt once before this evening also.
circa 2003: at c2w, there was this new chick who'd joined. she was exceedingly daft and not the types they normally hire. one fine day, she asked me if i wanted to go for a movie after work. i told her i cudn't because i danced at a local bar and i cudn't get late. of course, vibs helped me by confirming this story to her. daft that she was, d only way she cud react was by asking "does "CEO" know?" yeah... i'd be worried about that!

okk... enuf sed! i think i can write a book on this topic! but i promise, no more on this topic from me now!

yeh jal amrit hai...

context: we use a water filter at home for filtering water, coz i HATE bottled water. also, coz both of us put together can't r'ber to kep buying water. the filter works fine for us. there's no rocket science involved. u just pour in water, it takes approx 5 mins for the water to filter thru. when i got home, the water filter was the first things i washed, cleaned and refilled!

in the evng:
V: heyy!! WOW! there's water in the filter jug!!!
me: quizzical expression. one eye-brow raised look, usually meaning... "so"
V: u filled it?
me: still confused. does that question merit an answer?!
V: *rather enthu'ly*: whenever i used to come home, i wanted water, and i'd realize that i never r'bered to fill water in the jug, so there was no filtered water for me to drink. then i had to fill water; by then i didn't feel like drinking it.
*1 minute pause till he drinks the water*
feels so good to know there's clean drinking water!

u plz don't go anywhere again, okay?!

p.s.: the title for this piece is "inspired" in bollywood style from some mineral water ad. V didn't actually say that!