in conversation... again.

A few days after we moved-in to our current apartment (Yes, we've moved again!), V came to pick me up at the station and wanted to go out for dinner.

V: you want to go straight or you want to go home and then go out.

me: home, please.

V: but... we can go straight for dinner.

me: HOME. i need to pee!

V; the restaurant will have loos, i'm sure.

me: tch. No! Home.

V: why? You need to mark your territory?

---------------------

we had friends over for christmas. one of them was accompanied by her boyfriend. our initial plans were to gang up against the boyfriend (the rest of us v/s him, that is) and pelt him with snowballs.

but of course, there was no snow on christmas day.

to pacify us disappointed souls, vin came up with an alternative:

"there's ice in the freezer. let's hit him with that!!"

-----------------------

we haven't had much time to converse the past couple of weeks.

this morning, i decided to give it a rest and at least have b'fast together. the topic somehow veered to how some men are really hen-pecked. (Yes, I know... we discuss other people over rare conversations. don't judge us!)

vin: sometimes, i really wish i was also hen-pecked.

me: eh?

vin: you're okay with whatever I decide to do. you don't nag me.

me: yeah, i'm the coolest wife you'd ever have found.

vin: but i W.A.N.T. to be henpecked. you refuse to peck me. please peck me?!

------------

just like that.

there are days.
and there are days.

some days you wake up with a spring in your step. and you try really hard to not let external situations affect you. but they do.
and you can't help but feel dejected. and the fact that you try so hard at maintaining those "happy" pretenses just makes you feel worse. and you have so much on your plate, that you can't afford to put anything but your best foot forward.

and then, you talk to a friend. you play good, happy music. you look into the mirror and dance your heart out. and the world is so much better. just like that.

good friends, email, cell phones, music, full length mirrors.
what would the world be without them.

in conversation

The other day, when he thought he's getting late while coming to pick me up:

vin: if I get late, wait RIGHT there, ok?

me: of course I'll wait. where will I go?

vin: no. don't go with anyone else. i WILL come to get you.

------------------------

The other evening, when I was waiting for a friend at the station, a random man who was passing by paused, looked at me, did a double-take and said "boy! you're really beautiful!" and walked on before i could react or say thanks.

when I got home, I mentioned this to vin.

In typical filmy style, his response:

"aaj se tumhara college jaana bandh!"

-----------------------

We debated this morning about how V has no sense of order and leaves his things lying around the house.

In the evening, there are dollar bills lying on the center table. I didn't leave them there. So I turn to Vin, raise an eyebrow, and accusingly say

"what are these dollar bills doing here?"

the man, having learned a LOT in the past four years looks at me and says
"oh that's for later in the evening. when you start stripping?"

p.s.: clarifications.

No, I do not go off with random people at train stations.

and no, I do not strip later in the evenings. any evenings. just saying.

moments...

there are moments. when some people feel close. so close. that you feel you can reach out and touch them. that maybe you should.

and then, the moment passes.
you open your eyes to your reality.
and move on.

long time...

a lot has been happening.

amongst other things - for those of you who came in late - i'm back to school. after four years of procrastinating and choosing alternatives, i've bitten the bullet. and school is one whirlwind affair.

when you get used to having your time and space to do things that you like; it's difficult to adapt to a routine which requires you to be at your sharpest at any hour of the day. to get back to reading case studies and writing papers. to listening to a prof talk for close to three hours. difficult is an understatement.

so yes, it's been different. and difficult.

but i'd like to think i'm getting the hang of it.

the positives... realizing that you haven't lost the touch to befriend people. people that you genuinely like and get along with. it's comforting to know that people like this exist. that the possibility of finding 'good' friends still exists.

that there still is hope.

the negatives? not being able to speak to people who sort you out. who know you. who love you. who miss you. no matter how many times you say "i miss you", it's just not enough to convey how much i really miss connecting with the people i care for. and saying that i'm busy makes me feel very inefficient and inadequate.

so yes, i'm hoping i've managed to adapt. and that i will make time for things i like. and the people i love.

hopefully, i won't abandon this space either. this blog means way too much to me to let it die. so here's committing myself to it. and to school. and to those in my life that make me feel good about being me. you all know who you are... thanks for being so patient. thanks for being around.

means a lot.

p.s.: the humor shall return. soon.

of warming up... and liking me.

*edited to add another convo, by public demand.

since nothing exciting is happening in my life - besides on-now, off-now weekends, stalled cars and late night train rides, here's for a couple of the conversations that I can recollect.

we'd gone to get take-out from a newly opened desi restaurant. the lady there, while really sweet and friendly, had a thick manglorean (?) accent. (i cannot place south indian accents - so i could be wrong) she got us our order in a container and asked:

should i warm it for you?

vin looked at her - with an extremely quizzical expression, and went "HUH?"

i realized he was missing the point.

i also realized that asking him there, would not be wise. so I told the lady "i will warm it, thank you"

later, in the car, i looked at vin and said "what happened there?"

he explained:"i thought she's asking "should I VOMIT for you?" and i was like... What?! WHY?! NO...EWWW... HUH?!?! and all that was flashing in my head... till you replied, and i realized what she'd said!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

we were in the car at a red light. the car behind was a little too close for comfort. vin drove ahead a bit. the car behind followed.

vin: get AWAY from me! i do NOT want you so close. me: huh?

vin: the truck. behind. tell him to get away from me. why does he like me so much!

me: maybe it's a girl who likes you.

vin: the truck doesn't look like it's being driven by a chick. it's a guy.

me: then maybe the guy likes me, so he's following us. vin - very seriously- : no, honey. you don't know. nobody other than me likes you.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

whenever we book a rental car, we usually go with enterprise. i've called them on numerous occasions, and ALWAYS it's someone called "chris" who answers the call. whether i call their customer service, their offices - in different locations, or different cities, even - it's always "chris".

so i was mentioning it to Vin that maybe they have an employee name kinda thing going on. where everybody who joins has to call himself "chris".

but, of course, the PhD has wittier explanations

vin: no, no.. nothing you know. it's because this IS a 'chris-tian' country.

berrylicious

been a while i wanted to do a picture post. but i can't post pics of dewey. and i don't post pics of vin/me. and i wanted to do a pic post only with a living being.

also, i was stalking a squirrel this morning.
yes, i really do have very important things to be doing. which is why, i was indulging in this. and well, since it can't sue me for pictures taken without permission, here goes.

it did cross my mind as to ho

w big this thing was... esp given that it only eats berries and such.
hmm... i wonder how big a cat would have to be to make this its dinner...

of names. and changing them.

while doing the stereotype tag, i realized i'd forgotten to list down the fact that i haven't changed my surname after i got married. i thought about adding it there, and then didn't.

because i didn't retain my surname so i could go against a stereotype. i didn't do it to rebel. i didn't retain my name coz i'm a feminist. and not because i was leaving everything else behind anyway. in fact, i hadn't even thought about it.

i just didn't. the fact that i didn't have the time to change it when i got married was proven by the fact that nobody thought about it. and now... four years later... it kind of feels futile. now, i realize that i am not sure if i'm okay with changing my surname.

it doesn't mean that i'm not comfortable with adopting the new family.. i have done that, already. i don't need a document to prove it. it's in the conduct.

i don't get the big deal about it.

i have no qualms about admitting that tomorrow, if and when we have a kid, it'll use vin's surname. not mine. like i use my dad's.

because a name is something the parents give you. it is an integral aspect of your identity. apart from a good upbringing, it's the only thing they give you, that remains with you. forever. getting married doesn't mean that you "leave" your family or your identity. not to me, at least.

and most importantly... and this is also the reason i'm not comfortable changing my name, today... it's the only thing i have of my dad's.

i don't see the need to use vin's surname. i have him. with me. every step of the way.

the name is my way of me knowing that my dad is there. with me. every step of the way.

should i give up that feeling just for the sake of not being labelled? not worth it, i think.

how typical!

having done the anti-stereotype tag... i think i needed to list ways in which i do fit the stereotype.

so here goes:

:: i totally suck at math. yes, i have got better with time, but it's something that takes a lot of effort from me.
:: i LOVE my heels. there's no low-day that a good pair of heels can't fix.
:: i am not ambitious. i don't care if i'm doing a job or earning as much/more than my partner. as long as i'm happy, i don't give a damn.
:: i don't drive. when i did, i could totally understand why men say women make bad drivers. i was the kind that would be proof towards that crap.
:: i love good gossip. i don't spread it around, but i love to be clued-in.
:: i totally love chocolates. dark, but chocolate.
:: i'm an efficient cook. that means, that i can manage to cook a meal that's a little more than edible in less than an hour. that includes clean-up time.
:: i believe that a woman can never have enough of handbags, footwear or jewelry.
:: i do notice shades of colors that men wouldn't be able to name.
:: i prefer a good book to the television. even if the book is chick-lit. in fact, i love chick-lit.
:: i used to follow SATC. i did like it.