i love me!

ok... i don't have anything of any consequence to blog... but am picking up loca's tag... and listing things i love abt myself. bcoz i want to. bcoz london's making me realize a lot of things. and fall in love. with myself. and with life. :)

i love the fact that i:
:: can smile even when i want to cry. if someone needs that smile. and they matter enough to me. and that smile will be genuine.
:: am an awesome friend to have, once u're in the inner circle. till then, it's a tad confusing... i could be rather self-centered.
:: can be, and/or seem to be, rather indifferent even while being extremely
attached to something/someone. it's not as confusing as it sounds.
:: can be rather entertaining. so if i like u. and u need ur spirits lifted. u can count on me. but well, if u're a friend, u already know that. so cross that out! :D
:: can make myself feel happy. irrespective of everyody and everything.
:: am good at networking. but i like to believe that is because i'm genuine.
:: am not ugly. and i know what suits me. and i carry off stuff rather well. yeah, i love that. i know i'm vain. so?
:: have expressive eyes. for ppl close to me, it's rather easy to know what's going on in my mind.
:: am unpredictable. yeah, despite the point above. that's coz i mostly don't know what i'm going to do till i do it. :D
:: do NOT discriminate. at ANY level.
:: know when to be modest. and when to leave that behind.
:: know how to keep ego away from my relationships.
:: am passionate about what i do for a living. and that i know, that it's not related to where i work. or what i do. it's how i do what i'm doing that matters to me.
:: am not easy. in any sense.
:: am real.

i, me, myself

one of my fave lines has always been "i, me, myself". i have no clue where i came across this, or when or why i like it so much. but i do. i use it wherever i can. however i can. now that i have so much free time on my hands, i've been thinking. and i know y... there are 3 different people i can describe when i think of i, me and myself. so, here's giving a sneak-peek into the 3 different people rayshma is.

i : very shy, tho she prefers the term 'reserved'. always obedient, till it was within her comfort zone. i's 1st boss thought "i" needed to work on being aggressive. 2nd boss thought "i" was too aggressive *see? no consistency!* i has never been too ambitious. is happiest at home. studious, 'i' wants to learn as much as there is. i always maintained distinct personal & professional lives. i likes being liked. actually is nice to people so they may like her. can't receive compliments well, but likes them. i tries to be a good person. is always patient with the challenged *mentally, usually* i loves her hubby and can do anything for him. thinks with the heart, seldom with her brains. i tends to be nice to kids, though not too fond of them. it's about being perceived as nice, u see?

me: certified bitch. works hard, parties harder. completely anti-social, unless u happen to be within her circle. loves bollywood, bengali & bhojpuri and rock music! chats up cab drivers, sweepers, peons but is absolutely impatient with intellectually innocent people. comes back with sharp, witty one-liners at the right time with the right people. believes 'love' is an emotion found only in crappy bollywood capers. can't stand mush. can get away with anything - lies, inconsistency, indifference - anything. has the attitude to make god feel inferior! doesn't believe in god or religion. only god worshiped is happiness and me can do anything for that. lives for herself, and thereby, is extremely selfish. looks thru people she doesn't like, making them feel like something d cat dragged in. me IS aggressive. a control freak, me gets ballistic if things are not as she ordained. me has a very strong sense of identity and loves herself more than she can ever love anyone else. loves her hubby and her life, but will not hesitate to eliminate anyone or anything that seems to interfere with it. has very low tolerance levels for people with biased views. me prefers pets to kids. others' kids are strictly off-limits. doesn't think studies have ever helped anyone. doesn't give a damn about public perception.

and then of course, there's mystery's final page: myself.
constantly struggling to maintain the equilibrium between i & me. trying to balance the good and not-so-good within. myself ends up confused due to a lack of balance at times. not the best person to turn to for relationship advice. or any advice. least fave topic - kids. is completely insane. well, wot do u expect! try maintaining a balance between all those voices in ur head!
a hypocrite, at times - pretends to like kids she doesn't. pretends to be tolerant towards intellectually innocent people. pretends to want to study further.
pretends that i, me, myself are all the same person.