qui vivra verra

so...

2011-12-28T10:01:00.000-06:00

SO much has happened since i last stopped by here. (discounting, 3Ds birthday post, of course. )

so much has happened around me. to me. to my friends.

i didn't realize that 2011s as good as over.

i have one semester left of school. then what, i don't know.

i haven't been home since 2008. yeah. i don't know when i'll be back next.

friends that i live & die for have had kids, but haven't changed (thank heavens for that!). everybody's going through life... with its ups & downs. and i can't really 'be there-be there' for them.

i miss them. and i know they miss me. but there's precious little that can be done about it. so we all suck it up and continue. living.

the year's not been bad, now that i think of it.

i started working on-campus. i became financially independent (almost) again.

i met some amazing people. realized that every individual has the potential in them to be good. not all realize it. not all want to be good. but those who do, are worth the time & effort you can spare them. i don't know how long i'll know these people, but I'm learning to separate the gems from the riff-raff.

i didn't have time to think about whether i'm happy. and i guess that's why i've been mostly happy.

i don't think a lot of people come here anymore. which is fair, considering that i haven't been reading most blogs i used to. but i didn't want to let this space die. it's given me some wonderful friends. and i will always owe them to this space. and i can't let something that special die an abandoned death! so, i promise... i shall be here more often in 2012. i shall try and write rubbish and entertain the few that stop by. and i shall try and write sense, so that i can retain my own insanity.

happy birthday!

2011-12-27T12:48:00.001-06:00

i know i've neglected this space for way too long.

but here i am. again. by special request.

on a very special day.

to wish someone super special, a fantastic birthday!!!

so, dear dewdropdreams... dewdette...3D... whatever it is that this virtual world calls you - wish you a magical birthday! and a super fantastic 2012. i really do wish i get to see you soon.

coz i miss you.

more than i miss this space.

more than i miss having time for myself.

more, maybe, than i miss bombay.

coz if you're here, it'll be home.

MUAH!

love you, child. now, and always! have fun! :)

p.s.: and to anybody else who stops by... wish you a fantastic 2012. i promise, i'll come by here more often. pucca promise, that! :)

justifying cheapness and abandoning children

2011-08-08T06:54:00.002-05:00

commuter announcement this morning:
"this is the last stop. please remember to take all your belongings with you. that includes children. 'cos if you don't want them, we don't want them either."

------------------------------
me and vin discussing how some men are blatantly cheap.
me: they don't even look at your face... they constantly stare down at your cleavage. i feel like snapping and saying "here... up here. down there - they don't talk!"
vin: i think that explains why they stare. at least down there, nothing talks back!

------------------------------

while at the cafe with a colleague, i ran into this moron i happen to know from one of my classes.
he smiled at me, 'waved' at the colleague (whom, he does not know at all) and continued to smile till we left from there. (this happened on more than one occasion)
colleague: is... erm... do i know the guy? is he your friend?? WHY does he wave at me?
me: oh, lord no! you don't even need to know him. and NO, not my friend.
colleague: oh... umm... is he special needs?!

i wish the explanation was that easy. really.

time...

2011-06-29T06:01:00.000-05:00

i missed my train this morning. so i had some 15 odd minutes to spare. i didn't have the touch with me, and i don't usually bring out my laptop at stations. so i sat down, contemplating how these missed 15 minutes would affect the pace of the rest of my day.

i love clocks. esp the ones at stations - the huge, old ones. with arms, not numbers on them. between my "how-can-i-make-up-for-lost-time" and "what-was-it-i-had-to-do" state of mind, my eyes were drawn to the clock that hung past the staircase at the station... and i realized the simple pleasure of having the time to notice an arm of the clock move a minute ahead. it was just a minute, but it seemed like such a great effort for the arm. so much movement, such little progress?

makes me wonder if that's what i'm doing. putting in so much effort, to move less than an inch?

just like that...

2011-04-24T13:41:00.002-05:00

i love school. and i hate school.

with equal intensity. don't ask me how that's possible. it just is.

i miss my friends. a little more than i used to. and i still haven't made much of an effort to connect with them. i think i'm just a little too tired to reach out at the moment. and i hope they'll hang on. and be patient with me.

it's strange. how on some days, you want some friend to be there. not just any friend. you want 'a' particular friend on 'a' particular day for no particular reason.

when you start forging new friendships, you crave for the familiarity of the older ones. even while you're still trying to figure out how much you can rely on whom. and you realize that the traits you're looking for, the familiarity you're seeking, will never be found in another. that you have to get acquainted with people with a clean slate. a clear mind. no biases. because when you harbor biases prior to making friends, when you think "oh, that's so like XYZ..." you more often than not end up trying to be friends with the wrong people.

and it's so not worth the effort.

conversationally...

2011-02-21T15:17:00.002-06:00

was reading up for an assignment... friend from school (and in the same class, too) calls...
F: what are you doing?"
me: reading 'issues with efficiency'
F: hahaa... you need to read that.
me: erm... YOU need to read that, too
F: what? why? I'm not efficient!!!

-------------------
after a really hectic week at school, I'd hardly had time to talk to vin. Friday, he was to drop me at the station. I wasn't sure what time I'd be returning... so didn't know how I'd let him know what time to pick me up.

me: you don't have network in office... how will I tell you when I'm leaving?
vin with a totally dazed expression on his face...
"please don't leave me?"

life...

2011-01-23T14:35:00.001-06:00

life is not a fairy tale. or a movie. there is no one ending. there is no 'happily ever after'.

there are multiple endings. to the little beautiful moments that make you look back and miss 'those' days. as are there multiple beginnings.

it's life... you're allowed to make a fool of yourself. to trust and fail. to realize that people aren't all that you've made them out to be... to worship false idols. to dream dreams that will never be realized. to hurt people who matter to you. to let them hurt you. to know that we are all human... and to actually realize that. to know that everybody you count on will let you down at least once... and that doesn't mean you can't count on them. just that 'that' wasn't their day.

because life is not restricted to a couple hours. we make mistakes. we learn. we move on. we make new mistakes. and learn new lessons.

it's life. it goes on.

to new beginnings...

2011-01-12T10:01:00.002-06:00

I've been thinking of doing this post for a while now. Then I thought that I should go ahead with it the way I have with the past decade. Not too much thought. But as much heart as I put into everything I do. Well, almost everything! :)

But, it's been a VERY interesting decade. A lot has changed. A lot remains the same. I've lived, I've loved, I've lost, I've learned. I've realized the worth of life. And the little moments that make it thus.

This post may not be very lucid. But then, neither was the decade. Neither is life.

- I don't judge anymore. people, relationships, situations. I don't have an opinion on what should work. Because I realize that it's none of my business what someone else does in their life. I always believed in living and letting live. now, I actually practice that.

- From yearning for knowing-it-all, I know now that i can never know enough. That there's nothing called enough. there never will be.

- I'm back in school - I started grad school in 2000 and now almost in 2011. Yeah, it took me a decade to understand the importance. Hopefully, this time I'll make the most of it. And not go through the motions coz I need to get on with life.

- 10 years ago, I was looking to find myself. Today, I know that there isn't just one me. I'm like those russian dolls they sell at colaba causeway. You open one to find another inside and you can never know how many there are inside. *maybe you can, but I like not knowing* There's so many mes that sometimes I surprise myself and I love that element of unpredictability. That feeling of not knowing how I'll react to something.

- I understand the importance of true friends. Of people who will stand by you despite knowing you for you. Because they know you. Because they love you. And always will. Even if you ignore them for a while. People who will wait for you. Who will be there for you at your weakest, most vulnerable moments and not once mention it after that. People who will see you grow, who will give you the space to grow and secretly feel proud of you. I'm glad i've realized their importance. And happier that I've found some such people. Honored that they think I'm worth it.

- I never thought i'd leave my career for a man. I did. And after half a decade *almost*, I have no regrets either. Yeah, I surprise myself.

- I realized that the loss of someone close will always remain just that, a loss. And nothing can fill that up. Not time, not distance, not someone else. That people ARE irreplaceable. You may hide the vacuum, conceal it, suppress it... but it will remain. In the depths.

- I am no longer insecure about myself. I've worked long and hard and I finally accept myself for who I am, for how I am. For how I will be. I'm not perfect. Which is why I'm human.

- I realize that "I want!" is not a good enough reason for everything to be dropped into my lap. That I have to work for it. That it's only when you yearn for something that you realize how much it means. It's only when you don't have it, when you realize how precious it is. I've realized that I can't take anything for granted. And I've come to treasure things that I know I can't live without. And people.

- I've realized that there is no equivalent to girlfriends. I know that I can count on mine at any hour of the day or night... for anything. however irrelevant. But they'll be there. And I will be there for them. Even at 3 AM IST! :D

- I realize now that no matter how critical an issue may seem like right now. Someday, in the not-so-distant-future, I'll have the ability to look back and laugh it off. I just know I have the strength to do it. As a friend put it, "it's all relevant, till it's not".

There's a lot more that can't be put into bullet points. The little things, the humor, the conversations, the jibes, the vibes... the little things that make a decade memorable, but are too personal to be put up on a blog... and for that, I'm grateful. Here's hoping that this decade lives up to or betters the previous one!

that time again

2011-01-11T18:54:00.001-06:00

New Year, new template.
And hopefully, more posts.

If anybody's still around - Cheers! And wish you a very happy 2011... :)

in conversation... again.

2010-12-27T12:08:00.000-06:00

A few days after we moved-in to our current apartment (Yes, we've moved again!), V came to pick me up at the station and wanted to go out for dinner.

V: you want to go straight or you want to go home and then go out.

me: home, please.

V: but... we can go straight for dinner.

me: HOME. i need to pee!

V; the restaurant will have loos, i'm sure.

me: tch. No! Home.

V: why? You need to mark your territory?

---------------------

we had friends over for christmas. one of them was accompanied by her boyfriend. our initial plans were to gang up against the boyfriend (the rest of us v/s him, that is) and pelt him with snowballs.

but of course, there was no snow on christmas day.

to pacify us disappointed souls, vin came up with an alternative:

"there's ice in the freezer. let's hit him with that!!"

-----------------------

we haven't had much time to converse the past couple of weeks.

this morning, i decided to give it a rest and at least have b'fast together. the topic somehow veered to how some men are really hen-pecked. (Yes, I know... we discuss other people over rare conversations. don't judge us!)

vin: sometimes, i really wish i was also hen-pecked.

me: eh?

vin: you're okay with whatever I decide to do. you don't nag me.

me: yeah, i'm the coolest wife you'd ever have found.

vin: but i W.A.N.T. to be henpecked. you refuse to peck me. please peck me?!

------------

just like that.

2010-12-02T12:23:00.001-06:00

there are days.
and there are days.

some days you wake up with a spring in your step. and you try really hard to not let external situations affect you. but they do.
and you can't help but feel dejected. and the fact that you try so hard at maintaining those "happy" pretenses just makes you feel worse. and you have so much on your plate, that you can't afford to put anything but your best foot forward.

and then, you talk to a friend. you play good, happy music. you look into the mirror and dance your heart out. and the world is so much better. just like that.

good friends, email, cell phones, music, full length mirrors.
what would the world be without them.

in conversation

2010-10-16T20:36:00.002-05:00

The other day, when he thought he's getting late while coming to pick me up:

vin: if I get late, wait RIGHT there, ok?

me: of course I'll wait. where will I go?

vin: no. don't go with anyone else. i WILL come to get you.

------------------------

The other evening, when I was waiting for a friend at the station, a random man who was passing by paused, looked at me, did a double-take and said "boy! you're really beautiful!" and walked on before i could react or say thanks.

when I got home, I mentioned this to vin.

In typical filmy style, his response:

"aaj se tumhara college jaana bandh!"

-----------------------

We debated this morning about how V has no sense of order and leaves his things lying around the house.

In the evening, there are dollar bills lying on the center table. I didn't leave them there. So I turn to Vin, raise an eyebrow, and accusingly say

"what are these dollar bills doing here?"

the man, having learned a LOT in the past four years looks at me and says
"oh that's for later in the evening. when you start stripping?"

p.s.: clarifications.

No, I do not go off with random people at train stations.

and no, I do not strip later in the evenings. any evenings. just saying.

moments...

2010-10-16T10:40:00.000-05:00

there are moments. when some people feel close. so close. that you feel you can reach out and touch them. that maybe you should.

and then, the moment passes.
you open your eyes to your reality.
and move on.

long time...

2010-10-03T21:32:00.001-05:00

a lot has been happening.

amongst other things - for those of you who came in late - i'm back to school. after four years of procrastinating and choosing alternatives, i've bitten the bullet. and school is one whirlwind affair.

when you get used to having your time and space to do things that you like; it's difficult to adapt to a routine which requires you to be at your sharpest at any hour of the day. to get back to reading case studies and writing papers. to listening to a prof talk for close to three hours. difficult is an understatement.

so yes, it's been different. and difficult.

but i'd like to think i'm getting the hang of it.

the positives... realizing that you haven't lost the touch to befriend people. people that you genuinely like and get along with. it's comforting to know that people like this exist. that the possibility of finding 'good' friends still exists.

that there still is hope.

the negatives? not being able to speak to people who sort you out. who know you. who love you. who miss you. no matter how many times you say "i miss you", it's just not enough to convey how much i really miss connecting with the people i care for. and saying that i'm busy makes me feel very inefficient and inadequate.

so yes, i'm hoping i've managed to adapt. and that i will make time for things i like. and the people i love.

hopefully, i won't abandon this space either. this blog means way too much to me to let it die. so here's committing myself to it. and to school. and to those in my life that make me feel good about being me. you all know who you are... thanks for being so patient. thanks for being around.

means a lot.

p.s.: the humor shall return. soon.

of warming up... and liking me.

2010-09-03T10:06:00.002-05:00

*edited to add another convo, by public demand.

since nothing exciting is happening in my life - besides on-now, off-now weekends, stalled cars and late night train rides, here's for a couple of the conversations that I can recollect.

we'd gone to get take-out from a newly opened desi restaurant. the lady there, while really sweet and friendly, had a thick manglorean (?) accent. (i cannot place south indian accents - so i could be wrong) she got us our order in a container and asked:

should i warm it for you?

vin looked at her - with an extremely quizzical expression, and went "HUH?"

i realized he was missing the point.

i also realized that asking him there, would not be wise. so I told the lady "i will warm it, thank you"

later, in the car, i looked at vin and said "what happened there?"

he explained:"i thought she's asking "should I VOMIT for you?" and i was like... What?! WHY?! NO...EWWW... HUH?!?! and all that was flashing in my head... till you replied, and i realized what she'd said!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

we were in the car at a red light. the car behind was a little too close for comfort. vin drove ahead a bit. the car behind followed.

vin: get AWAY from me! i do NOT want you so close. me: huh?

vin: the truck. behind. tell him to get away from me. why does he like me so much!

me: maybe it's a girl who likes you.

vin: the truck doesn't look like it's being driven by a chick. it's a guy.

me: then maybe the guy likes me, so he's following us. vin - very seriously- : no, honey. you don't know. nobody other than me likes you.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

whenever we book a rental car, we usually go with enterprise. i've called them on numerous occasions, and ALWAYS it's someone called "chris" who answers the call. whether i call their customer service, their offices - in different locations, or different cities, even - it's always "chris".

so i was mentioning it to Vin that maybe they have an employee name kinda thing going on. where everybody who joins has to call himself "chris".

but, of course, the PhD has wittier explanations

vin: no, no.. nothing you know. it's because this IS a 'chris-tian' country.

berrylicious

2010-07-15T09:27:00.007-05:00

been a while i wanted to do a picture post. but i can't post pics of dewey. and i don't post pics of vin/me. and i wanted to do a pic post only with a living being.

also, i was stalking a squirrel this morning.
yes, i really do have very important things to be doing. which is why, i was indulging in this. and well, since it can't sue me for pictures taken without permission, here goes.

it did cross my mind as to ho

w big this thing was... esp given that it only eats berries and such.
hmm... i wonder how big a cat would have to be to make this its dinner...

of names. and changing them.

2010-07-12T15:49:00.002-05:00

while doing the stereotype tag, i realized i'd forgotten to list down the fact that i haven't changed my surname after i got married. i thought about adding it there, and then didn't.

because i didn't retain my surname so i could go against a stereotype. i didn't do it to rebel. i didn't retain my name coz i'm a feminist. and not because i was leaving everything else behind anyway. in fact, i hadn't even thought about it.

i just didn't. the fact that i didn't have the time to change it when i got married was proven by the fact that nobody thought about it. and now... four years later... it kind of feels futile. now, i realize that i am not sure if i'm okay with changing my surname.

it doesn't mean that i'm not comfortable with adopting the new family.. i have done that, already. i don't need a document to prove it. it's in the conduct.

i don't get the big deal about it.

i have no qualms about admitting that tomorrow, if and when we have a kid, it'll use vin's surname. not mine. like i use my dad's.

because a name is something the parents give you. it is an integral aspect of your identity. apart from a good upbringing, it's the only thing they give you, that remains with you. forever. getting married doesn't mean that you "leave" your family or your identity. not to me, at least.

and most importantly... and this is also the reason i'm not comfortable changing my name, today... it's the only thing i have of my dad's.

i don't see the need to use vin's surname. i have him. with me. every step of the way.

the name is my way of me knowing that my dad is there. with me. every step of the way.

should i give up that feeling just for the sake of not being labelled? not worth it, i think.

how typical!

2010-07-06T10:19:00.002-05:00

having done the anti-stereotype tag... i think i needed to list ways in which i do fit the stereotype.

so here goes:

:: i totally suck at math. yes, i have got better with time, but it's something that takes a lot of effort from me.
:: i LOVE my heels. there's no low-day that a good pair of heels can't fix.
:: i am not ambitious. i don't care if i'm doing a job or earning as much/more than my partner. as long as i'm happy, i don't give a damn.
:: i don't drive. when i did, i could totally understand why men say women make bad drivers. i was the kind that would be proof towards that crap.
:: i love good gossip. i don't spread it around, but i love to be clued-in.
:: i totally love chocolates. dark, but chocolate.
:: i'm an efficient cook. that means, that i can manage to cook a meal that's a little more than edible in less than an hour. that includes clean-up time.
:: i believe that a woman can never have enough of handbags, footwear or jewelry.
:: i do notice shades of colors that men wouldn't be able to name.
:: i prefer a good book to the television. even if the book is chick-lit. in fact, i love chick-lit.
:: i used to follow SATC. i did like it.

gender-bender

2010-07-02T11:02:00.002-05:00

while i'm on a tag-stealing spree... i stole this tag off pixie's...

it's been doing the rounds... and it requires you to list traits of yours that don't fit your gender stereotype.

so, here's my list of sins.

- i don't do fancy romantic dinners very well. i prefer the bar, diner environment more. i love chilling over a beer. and i think diner breakfasts are the best.

- i do not like mush. i hate roses. i hate red heart-shaped merchandise even more. the concept of fancy romantic proposals make me go blech. i do not get "hints". neither do i give them. if i want to say something, i will. and 'nothing' actually means nothing.

- i'm very comfortable in jeans/trousers. i never wore skirt-suits to work. it was always trousers.

- i am quite fond of remote controlled toy cars. and planes. in fact, i love them. i vehemently dislike dolls. barbies included.

- i love telecom. i do understand the technology. what i don't know, i learn it quick. i found it fascinating to decipher how to determine which server had better specifications. or the apps that would work best with droid.

- i was good at programming before i quit it.

- i wouldn't mind spending a day (or more) at home playing video games.

- i don't know how to be 'coy' or ladylike. if i find something funny, i laugh out loud. quite loud.

- i do not get manicures/pedicures, facials or body massages. i don't like them. in fact, i detest salons and go ONLY for the most basic things.

- i do not spend hours getting dressed. it takes me 15 mins to be completely dressed. i also shop real quick.

- i am not weight conscious. i have never dieted in my life. and would rather die than diet. i love eating.

If...

2010-06-24T23:29:00.002-05:00

flicked the tag from trish's space...

If I were a month, I’d be December
If I were a day of the week, I’d be Friday
If I were a time of day, I’d be 23.59
If I were a season, I’d be the Monsoons/Spring
If I were a planet, I’d be Venus.
If I were a sea animal, I’d be a whale. *not getting into technicalities of an animal, here*
If I were a direction, I’d be the 'right' direction.
If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be a Bar Stool.
If I were a liquid, I’d be Water.
If I were a tree, I’d be all green & brown and have birds sitting on me... eww!
If I were a tool, I’d be a Hex.
If I were an element, I’d be Mercury.
If I were a gemstone, I’d be a garnet.
If I were a musical instrument, I’d be an electric guitar.
If I were a color, I’d be deep. deep anything.
If I were a emotion, I’d be fleeting.
If I were a fruit, I’d be an apple. in the garden of eden.
If I were a sound, I’d be the sounds of waves crashing on the shore.
If I were a car, I’d be rather driven...!
If I were food, I’d be chicken wings.
If I were a taste, I’d be bitter-sweet.
If I were a scent, I’d be plumeria.
If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be hot pink, sky-high stilettos.
If I were a bird, I’d be a kingfisher.

friends to strangers

2010-06-23T21:01:00.001-05:00

when friends drift away, it hurts.
over time, i've come to accept it as just one of those other inevitable things that life throws at you.

it's strange. when you think u're "friends". when you believe, with all your heart, that you connect. that you 'get' each other. you share laughter and tears. and you believe that you mean as much to them as they do to you.
and then, suddenly... just like that, the person changes. so much, that you realize - eventually - that you can't relate to the new person. maybe it's not an overnight change.. maybe, while you're busy ignoring "silly signs", the other person is changing. and you refuse to believe the change, refuse to see that your friend is drifting away from you.
the proximity, the "friendship", it all disappears. and you wonder what happened. what happened that the person changed so much.

i don't think its the person changing. i think you never really knew them.
and you keep trying... to find your friend in the new stranger. not knowing that they're no longer there. it's a brand new person. and unfortunately, you don't relate to the new person anymore.
yes, you know all of this. but it still hurts. and you still wish your friend would come back.

public apologies

2010-06-21T19:49:00.002-05:00

to friends who do not read this public space.

:: the acquaintance who is getting married next month.

i am extremely sorry that in my congratulatory mail to you, i got the name of your fiancee incorrect. even more sorry that it happened to coincide with the name of your ex. i honestly did not know that you ever dated a girl named neha. i just got confused between your fiancee's name and the name of another friend's fiancee. i kinda forgot who weds whom. you know how i am, right? right?

i do wish you, and your wife, all the very best.

:: the friend who received an offline from me saying "i lauve you so much! MUAH!" that was genuinely NOT meant for you. i do NOT love/lauve/louve you. at all. and no, i wasn't drunk. you happen to be on my gtalk JUST above dewey... given that your names are a little bit identical. and i'm even more sorry that your wife snoops on you by checking your inbox and glanced upon it. i can speak to her and clarify things. though, as you rightly said - i may just cause more damage. sigh. just sorry, ok? peace!

:: the friend (?) on FB who put up a "happy fathers day, ABC. you're very loved. hope you like your gift!" (ABC being her husband's name)

i am sorry for presuming and congratulating you - on your wall - for having had a baby. in my defense, i did not know that i should wish my husband on father's day. i stupidly thought it was meant as a special day for all fathers only. i wonder why.

yes, i've had a very busy couple of days, as you can see. what have you guys been upto? offended anyone lately?

what age would you be?

2010-06-20T19:21:00.002-05:00

i read somewhere that "women want to remain 16 for the rest of their lives"

and i thought about it... i am a woman. and i don't think so. as in, i don't want to be stuck at 16. (just to be clear!)
in fact, i never wanted to be 16. not when i was 16, and not when i'm 30! why would i want to go back and be 16? ever?
what is so special about 16, anyway? 10th standard exams? the fact that you don't know yourself enough to answer basic questions like "who am i?"

heck, i didn't even know what 'true friends" are. i was naive, rather insecure about myself... somewhat stupid and in a hurry to grow up. but i think that the most stupid thing about me was that i thought i was smart. and therein, lay my ridiculousness.

i did have dreams and aspirations, the arrogance of making life turn my way, yes.. but did not have the knowledge or the assurance that life is life. you can will it to a certain extent... but mostly, you go with the flow and make the best of the cards that are dealt to you.

maybe that's just me. and maybe the rest of you were absolutely fabulous individuals when you were 16. but i've only gotten better. maybe coz i couldn't have deteriorated ;)

anyhoo... if there were an age i'd like to be stuck at... it would be 25, for me.
i knew myself. i knew my strengths, my limitations... my dreams and my aspirations. i looked good, i felt good. and i was finally at ease with myself. i knew the difference that separated my friends and people who pretended to be my friends.. though i'm still figuring that one out... but still, i think i was okay at 25.

yeah, i'm slow. i know. it took me 25 years to get to that place where i could say "i'm okay". but heyy, i got there. and i realized, it only gets better.

what age would you be stuck at if you had to be...?

update

2010-06-02T12:02:00.000-05:00

it's been a whirlwind couple of months and i don't remember all that i wanted to blog about. but i do know i need/want to blog. so update piece again.

- the move went rather well. helps to have good movers. it was a little disconcerting when it took them a little less than 15 mins to load the stuff that had taken me more than 15 days to pack. also, we had to race to get here before they did. and they still won. but i guess, i should be happy about that. if anyone wants a reference, get in touch. they were fab!

- we've settled in. ok. not all settled. but getting there. kinda, sorta. slowly. more so, coz the space doesn't permit me to unpack everything. also, we would need to change apartments in abt 6 months. so no point unpacking it all. so well, yeah. i think we're almost settled. for now.

- ARE nice desis. yes, apart from the 'smile-and-they-look-away' or the 'they-keep-staring-at-you' kinds that everybody (and me) keeps coming across and talking/bitching about on blogs. and luckily, we found them nearby. they're moving away shortly, but they've reinstated the hope that not everybody who moves here from india is prone to negative attitude/behavior towards others who have moved from there.

- got a much-needed break. that gets over this sunday. since the last blog post, we've done log-cabin camping, 1000 islands, vermont, explored the adirondacks, checked out nearby beaches and a little bit of boston already. helped that vibs and dewey were here.

- find the cutest dental hygienists. my cleaning sessions are fun, despite the fact that i HATE to go for them.

that's all that's been happening. if your'e still around, give me a shout. will let me know who all still read this space. will blog soon... soon as i remember what it was that i wanted to blog about.

pause

2010-04-30T16:57:00.004-05:00

post a wonderful week with a fantastic friend, the blog goes on a break. indefinite, as of now.

hopefully, i shall get back here next month. provided we have our internet connection fixed at the new place by then.

oh yeah, i haven't mentioned it, have i?

we're moving. again.

to a suburb of boston. mid-may. i may not get the time to do a farewell post & all, but i sure will miss this place. weather n all.

somehow, the urge to blog isn't the way it used to be. so maybe, i'll close shop here. or maybe i will be back next month. i don't know as of now.

all of you who have me on mail/FB, do keep in touch.

p.s.: amey, do follow up with dewey on Hema. she has the first part. and she will get the others too. :)

pwetty cherry on top!

2010-04-21T10:35:00.008-05:00

okk... another tag. that i'm doing ONLY coz of the award! and no, she hadn't given this award to me. i liked it. so i well, asked for it! and i stole the image from her blog, in case she said no! *which, she didn't btw!*

pwetty, aint it?

the tag says i'm to write 3 things i like abt myself. and put up a pic i love the most.

part 1 is rather easy. part 2, i'm putting up a pic i like as of now. coz i don't know which pic i love the most.

what i love abt me:

i. i'm genuine. and it's quite evident. i won't ask after you if i don't care. no matter how important you may be to me professionally/relatively. only reason i will care for/about you

is because you matter to me. if i don't like you, i may not be rude to you, but you will know that i'm talking to you because i have to.

ii. i'm a simple, positive, happy person. and i attempt to keep my life that way as well. touchwood.

iii. i am very secure with myself. i wasn't like this always. i have grown over and out of my insecurities. with quite a bit of effort. i understand and appreciate the work it has taken to be me and the people who have made me me. and i realize that i won't let myself stagnate.

picture?

this one has been my fave for a while now. hope you like it as well.

mindless!

2010-04-21T10:16:00.001-05:00

vin and i share differing tastes in ice cream flavors. i like only the dark choc types. and while he likes almost all ice creams, he's not so fond of the chocolate ones. *this, of course, doesn't mean he won't eat it.*

y'day post dinner, we were pigging out on a large tub of dark choc ice cream. one that he got ESP for me, apparently.

he was eating it with a rather morose expression on his face. which prompted me to ask "why so serious?"

vin: this is REALLY good, you know? i didn't know i liked it.

me: i know. mast hai na?! but what's with the sad face?

slight pause while he contemplated being honest with me.

vin: you had to 'tell' me i like it. i have no mind of my own!

when it rains, it pours...

2010-04-16T11:05:00.000-05:00

how do you describe...
a friend who has always been there for you.
despite arguments and distances.
despite being pissed off with you.
despite knowing that you're crazy and can go thru drastic mood swings.

a friend who knows HOW to handle those mood swings. and someone who can actually tell random relatives at your wedding to not push you any more. *my mom told me this recently and it made me SO proud!*
a friend who knows what you would like for lunch even though you may not know it.
a friend who orders that particular thing for you since you tend to forget.
a friend who understands the fascination for dancing in front of a mirror. and the aversion to tequila.
a friend who's so attuned to the deviousness of your mind, that she can be your partner in crime without you telling her of her role in the crime. and pull it off so beautifully.
a friend who is part sister, part care-taker, part best friend!
you don't describe them. coz they're so much more than what words can convey. you try and be there for them. try to be to them, what they've been for you.

p.s.: vibs is visiting me. she will be here next friday. and i'll be seeing her after 2 long years. she's entirely responsible for making me see the bright side of bbay. i'm hoping i can help her see the beautiful side of the US. :)

news flash!

2010-04-10T10:51:00.002-05:00

Her Royal Madness, and partner in crime, DewDropDream is scheduled to visit the kind galadriel and the author. The visit is scheduled for the month of May, 2010.

Sources reveal that planning has been underway for this visit since Dec 2008. However, it is finally official. Local authorities have already been warned of the development and expect two weeks of sheer madness. Anything less will be a punishable offense.

Commenting on this development, DDD, aka Dewey* or 3D* says "Geez, this is happening!!!! After what, a year and half of hawe mein planning?!"

when asked to comment, this is what her hosts had to say.
Galadriel: "Apparently you are talking in Filipino.. And Google is very graciously offering to translate also!"
Vin: "She's going to have to brush her teeth twice a day."

As you can see, the ingredients for madness have already been acquired. For further coverage and absolutely insane updates, please be sure to login to this space.

*nicks reserved for members of the sisterhood ONLY. violators shall be clawed.

tag-time

2010-04-08T17:00:00.001-05:00

oh yes, i've been tagged again.
the li'l insane, li'l nice celestialrays has tagged me.
and yes, this one took quite some thinking.

5 pathetically horrible movies you’ve seen
this one's difficult. there isn't too much i would "hate" other than the recent yrf/dharma productions fare. lemme try.
i. srk acted, YRF or KJo flicks. exceptions being DDLJ, DTPH and KANK. yes, i liked kank. sue me. *this automatically cuts down almost my entire list.*
ii. dostana. blech.
iii. khushi. yeah, i know. i shouldn't have seen such movies, right? but well. this has the honor of being the only movie i've walked out of. before the interval, that too.
iv. marathi movies from the 90s. esp the so-called comedies. blech. of late, i think there have been some good releases here... not that i've seen all. but i try.
v. mango souffle. i really, really did not get this one. i saw it coz it had atul kulkarni.

5 accessories you can create out of food
just create, not wear, right?
i. finger ring. simple, right?
ii. handbag. cut a cantaloupe in half. clean it out. cut a curved strip of the chhilka *i have no patience to think of the english word for that!* and attach it to the semi-circle with push pins. decorate with oatmeal or cornflakes. there you go. designer handbag ready.
iii. earrings. take one cornflake. attach to push-pin. put pin in ear. repeat with other.
iv. belt. tie banana peels together. sexy yellow belt's ready. how many peels you need depends on your girth, entirely.
v. anklet. carrot peels. strung together. you could substitute cucumber peels for this as well. would match with the finger ring as well.

5 places where you won’t be seen dead at

i. Holi celebrations where ppl are playing color. N.E.V.E.R.
ii. at a film shoot. ANY film shoot.
there's no other place that i would avoid with so much passion, actually. i'm okay with being anywhere. depends on my mood, though. and also, the company.

5 people you’d love to hit, anytime, anywhere
i. those who discriminate. ANY kind of discrimination. race, caste, creed, sexuality... pls learn to live and let live.
ii. those who believe that a woman's "purpose" is to marry and reproduce. or those who believe that life is incomplete without marriage/children etc. you get the drift.
iii. those who think it's their duty to meddle in others' lives. and ask questions. MYOB.
iv. those who have the 'i'm-daft-come-hit-me' look on their faces. they're asking for it, actually.
v. i cannot name the 5th person. and i cannot typecast him/her or describe why i so badly want to hit him/her. sorry. there's only so much honesty this space can take.

5 things you’d do to scare anybody
i would be myself. no 5 things needed. i can be very scary if i wish to be.

there. i'm done. will do an update soon. lots happening at this end! :)

of love... and life

2010-03-25T13:17:00.001-05:00

i read somewhere:

"every woman has exactly that love life, that she had decided in her mind, when she was 12 years old"

hmm...

as far as i can remember.. when i was 12, i had no love life in mind. but the nearest i can think to that age... was when i wanted a guy who would love me a lot, who would be smart & witty and who would have a walk-in closet to house my shoes. i would also have preferred it if he had a horse.

well, other than the horse, i got it all, then!

tagged...

2010-03-23T08:11:00.001-05:00

i was tagged by trish to post 7 random things abt me.

i'm not sure there are 7 such things after 3 years of blogging that regulars here don't know... but it's been a while, i've been tagged, so i shall attempt it.

for the rules, go here.

i. i can switch between immature, child-like girl to wise old woman within seconds.

ii. when i'm not actively involved in a conversation, i almost always look indifferent to what's going on. this may, or may not be true. in any case, you won't be able to figure it out!

iii. i amaze myself with my knowledge of bollywood. i did not know that i knew all of sunita rao's songs or how many movies called pehchaan were released and when. i still don't think i'm THAT interested in this knowledge, but well...

iv. i don't like a lot of ppl. but at the same time, i believe that every individual has something exceptionally good in/about them. i can focus on this good, and get along with almost anybody if i need to.

v. the first time i was reprimanded for something, i was 20 years old. that day, i also got a piece of advice which still helps me. i was told "you need to be very thick-skinned to survive in advertising/media. but don't lose your sensitivity. it'll take you very far. i can see that." i'm not in touch with the prof who said that. but his words remain with me. always will.

vi. it takes very little to make me very happy. i believe i'm a happy person, in general. there are very few days that i am in a funk. and i think i'm rather nice to be around.

vii. i love drifting off. and i find silences comforting. at the same time, i love the "life" of a city. i am still trying to figure out if i'm a city girl or a country. maybe, i'm a bit of both.

there i go. i don't know 7 ppl who haven't done this, and ppl i tag don't necessarily do the tags. so well, if you want to do this, pls feel free to pick it up.

video of the week

2010-03-18T09:46:00.003-05:00

for lack of a substantially entertaining post, here's hoping you like the video and the song.

this used to be one of my faves a long time ago... forgot it in the commercialization of self.

enjoy:

p.s.: for those of you who can't see the video *it depends on the country you login from, i guess...* it's Heer by Sandeep Chowta, featuring Sukhwinder Singh.

run, but you can't hide

2010-03-09T12:52:00.002-06:00

vin recently got onto FB. i very promptly went and edited my profile to say "married to..."

but of course, FB wanted a confirmation from vin...

a couple hours later, i get a mail from vin

"FB is asking me to confirm you're my wife. i am not confirming."

later in the evng, when i asked him why... he merrily says i don't want to publicly associate with you. why am i not given the option of "i have nothing to do with her"?

-----------------------------

me: dewey thinks that when she comes over, you'll leave us both at the airport and escape. you won't, right?

vin: i would WANT to, but knowing you, you'll get home before i do. then you'll break my legs and skin me... so i won't be able to run, and i will have no hide.

----------------

p.s.: yes, he's still alive. how else will he pay for his wit?

phew!

2010-03-08T12:51:00.002-06:00

yeah, so i'm back. with nothing, as of now. except a new template.
hope y'all like it. will come back with a post... soon. hopefully.

and yes, will catch up with most of the blogs that i used to read prior to the break.

dus ka dum!

2010-02-04T08:15:00.004-06:00

so much for a break. gah!
i seriously have zero discipline in my life! anyway, i'm a sucker for tags. and an even bigger sucker for bollywood. so when i glanced upon this on lady K's blog, i HAD to take a break from my break.

here are the rules, copied from kiran's blog:

1. On your blog, provide a link to this page. (http://greatbong.net/book).
2. Then write down your top 10 Hindi movie lines or top 10 English movie lines (You can do both if you want. Only one set is required for the contest). If you cannot think of top 10, make it top 5. Cannot think of even 5? Make it top 3. No problem. Only restriction: no two lines from same movie. This done to make it fair for other movies so that they dont get swamped by Gunda or Loha or Sholay.
3. Tag five friends to do the same.
4. Come over to the comment-space of this post and post your blog’s link so I can go and read it.
Remember: Before starting the tag, paste points 1 and 4 on your blog so that the rules are available to anyone who wishes to pick the tag up from your blog.

so now, i leave you with my top-of mind hindi film dialogs.

:: "mogambo khush hua!" - mr india

:: "yahan beemaron ka ilaaj hota hai, murdon mein jaan nahi daali jaati" - aloo chaat

:: "chal, ab mann mein has ke dikha" - shool *i think*

:: "pyaari nahi, bahut saari baatein karti hai" - sholay

:: "yeh dhai kilo ka haath kisiipar pad jaaye, toh aadmi uthta nahi, uth jaata hai" - damini

:: "mere paas maa hai" - deewar

:: "no if, no but... only jat" - jo bole so nihaal

:: "mere mann ko bhaaya, main kutta kaat ke khaaya" - china gate

:: "main ek baar commitment kar lu, toh phir main apni bhi nahi sunta"- wanted

:: "teja main hoon. mark idhar hai!" - AAA

:: "aap convince ho gaye... ki main aur bolu..?" - jab we met.

i know.. they're 11... but well, i couldn't leave out the last one. and i have to remind myself that i have something VERY pressing to do.. or this could've been top 50!

and as is wont, i tag:

dewey

galadriel

pixie

amey

suruchi

prashanti

one dialog extra, one person extra tagged!

i shall meet y'all post march 8! :)

break it!

2010-01-25T11:11:00.002-06:00

due to inexplicable *as yet* and unavoidable circumstances, i'm off this space till march 8, 2010.

i may pop in once a while... but since i'm not going to even check mails, that can't be guaranteed.

will try and catch up with all the blogs i frequent, once i'm back. didn't want to leave without a notification... so here it is. for those of you who bother reading me/leave comments. love y'all. and i'll see you all soon. here, of course. *pavi & G - i will call you soon! :)*

till then... stay safe and stay happy.

photos... phinally.

2010-01-18T07:45:00.006-06:00

by public demand, here are pictures from the guest house, where we were put up for a couple of days till they set our apartment right.

the view from the dining room - that's the sun attempting to set, not rise! ;)

the frozen lake...
and my fave pic... :)
the rest will be mailed to you (if i have your id, and if you want them) once i upload them on picasa.

learnings in the adirondacks!

2010-01-13T08:32:00.000-06:00

learning 1: in the winter, never EVER switch off the heat in your house if you're going to be away. more so, if you're away for over a day! or 5 days, in our case.*you knew it?! GOOODD for you!*

learning 2: always... and i mean, always, KNOW where the mains are located. not just for electricity, for water as well.

learning 3: when you get back after a couple of days to a frozen house, do NOT yank up the heat! yes, even though you may be freezing. even though the faucets are frozen and there is not a drop of water in the house! do NOT yank up the heat. you may risk - like we did - a pipe bursting, and the entire apartment getting flooded in approx 15 mins.

learning 4: the trudeau maintenance guys totally rock!! they were prompt, came up rather late in the night... managed to find us a place to stay at that hour (in a city that sleeps around 7). M even managed to drive up to the guest house at way past 10 to make sure we had groceries, our sheets were clean and we were okay. AND she was really sweet about it. i don't think anyone anywhere else would do as much, as promptly, for tenants! that too, with a smile. i guess they really are nicer folks around here.

so well, here i am. at the trudeau guest house. using the free wi-fi and blogging. second thing in the morng. first, of course, i took pictures of the gorgeous steiner cottage and the marvelous view from here - the frozen lake! :)

yeah, a tiring day, a 5 hour drive, a flooded apartment... fades away in my memory when i wake up to a view like this!

but i do hope i can go back home soon!

bonne année

2009-12-28T10:52:00.004-06:00

every time i step out, i feel somewhat like what the kids in narnia must've felt when they stepped out that wardrobe the first time.

yeah, i'm still not over it.

but well, had a lovely xmas. with egg-nog, awesome food and wonderful gifts! only thing missing was friends. but i'm sure next christmas, that will be taken care of too. *smiles mysteriously*

will try and be more regular with blogging in 2010. can't promise, but will definitely try. there is a lot going on that can count as bloggable... but more on that, later. when the time is right. and no, that doesn't mean i'm pregnant. *yes, this was for YOU! don't mail me/call me abt it!*

so... here's wishing you all have a wonderful 2010. happy new year, folks. and don't give up on me just as yet.

thoughts for the week.

2009-12-10T08:37:00.001-06:00

as always, since there's too much brain freeze for a proper piece... a quick update... lest you think i'm dead and gone... wanted to do mini posts on each. but, then again, one post should suffice.
:: made my first snowman. ever. not for this season. yeah, i know.

:: realized what it feels to be 'dependent'. in more ways than one.

:: some ppl need to know that not everything is to be told to/discussed with everyone. irrespective of how close you may be. there are some things that shouldn't be asked. they will be told, if they need to be. if they're not, it doesn't concern you, in any way.

:: there's this constant 'need' by ppl to be competitive, to be the 'best'. a need, that is not understood by me. i can understand wanting to better yourself, not wanting to be better than someone else. that is where i lose the track. i revel in being average. i 'want' to be average. normal. okay. maybe that's the problem with me.

:: i believe every person enters our lives - unintentionally, most of the time - with an objective. once that objective is accomplished, they move out of our lives. if we're still in each others' lives... we have a greater objective to achieve.

:: if we were to consider our blogs as brands... are we, then, to blog only keeping in mind the blog's core identity? for instance, if 'inane' is the forte of this space, am i not to blog abt anything that may make sense?

and we're back.

2009-11-30T10:17:00.001-06:00

4 days.
5 states.
1 road trip.
lunching with one of my favoritest couples in the whole wide world.
meeting rels you used to like, after a long long time. realizing they're still as nice as you remembered them.
falling in love with the niece you haven't spent any time with before.
some godawesome food.
decent weather. *read, no snow!*
good walks.
good music.
better conversations.
one playful kitty.
happy times.

this is, for me, how a good vacation ought to be.

would have been purrfect if i could've managed to stay with G.. but well, next time. also, it made me realize why i love G so much. i called... the morng of when i was supposed to land at her place, and told her i couldn't make it, as we'd had a sudden change of plans and had to head back directly... and all she said was "no worries. cool." that, to me, is what great friendship is. no explanations, no whining, no making me feel guilty. no sulking. pure understanding. and confidence, that if i could.. i definitely would.

touchwood!

here and now...

2009-11-24T06:51:00.000-06:00

it's been a while now. a while since i came here. not only here, on this blog... but here, to this place i've now started calling home. and wonder if it actually is home. or it's another of those dreams that i won't r'ber when i wake up.

i have finally started stepping out the door without the camera. so, 'that' touristy phase is kind of over.
and it's an understatement to say it's beautiful. of course, only if you like the countryside, that is. if you're the kind of urban person who thrives on skyscrapers, this isn't the place for you. i was like that, once. a long time ago. i can't seem to remember when that person took the back-seat and let this, nature-loving freak, out.
but i don't know how many mes are within me. so i shall leave that be.

as for now, there's one thing that kind of sums it up for me, here. and considering that this place has a way of making me shut up... i shall quote vin's colleague... who said "it just lets you make the most of a moment... teaches you to 'live'... and appreciate every little aspect."
like the ray of sunshine that peeked out from behind the dark grey cloud. like the white morng, which melted away as the sun shone through... like the green of the leaves, which i don't know when i'd see next...

all in all, it's gorgeous.
and i'm sorry i haven't blogged more often. will try to be regular from next month. or maybe next year?
to all those who asked me where i've been.. i've been around. but i didn't/don't have anything much to write about. will do a picture post once i'm back. till then, happy thanksgiving!

oh, dear!

2009-10-13T10:53:00.003-05:00

me: vin, cut your nails, dude...
vin: no, it's a defense mechanism. i will not cut.
me: defense?? when a deer crosses your path, you'll attack it with ur claws?
vin: not that deer. YOU, dear. this is all for you!

me chatting with a friend this morng, typed "MIAOWWW" in his window instead of deweys.
me to dewey: dude, i just typed your miaow in Ms window and he asked " subah kya maarke baithe ho aaj?"
dewey: tell him "maowjito hai"

again, chatting with dewey... she types a whole lot of sentences. me, who is busy trying to catch snowflakes... doesn't get the drift:
me: eh? what... who ? taiwan??
dewey: haan. taiwan. tum kya behosh hoke abhi uthi ho?

me to vin: nobody loves me.
vin: suruchi ko bolu kya?!

me telling G that when i told my ma abt baby bear, she thought it was a VERY little baby and said "uthaya nahi usko?"
G: tell aunty that if you'd uthao'ed that baby, then her baby wouldn't be here today!

well, that's what we've been upto.

back with a tag...

2009-10-10T09:16:00.005-05:00

since i have nothing new to write... this is my way of saying i'm alive & kicking... erm.. thinking... howdy y'all?! flicked from dewey...

1.What is your current obsession ?

Bejewelled on facebook. Also, Farmville.

2. What are you wearing today?
harem pants. and a new orleans tee with a cat face on it in sequins. happy?

3. What’s for dinner?
Butter chicken, chapatis, sooji ka halva. yeah, mom's here.

4. What’s the last thing you bought?

a faux fur cap with a tail. and metal rimmed sunglasses.

5. What are you listening to right now?

mom talking in the background... 'yeh dooriyan' playing on my laptop... and the hum of the heater

6. What do you think about the person who tagged you?
hahahaa... she's a VERY genuine person. am glad our paths crossed.

7. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?

i'm happy right here... :) would be happier if someone paid our rent, though

8. What are your must-have pieces for summer?

sunscreen, sunglasses...

9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?

only an hour? i'd go to hawaii.

10. Which language do you want to learn?

french.

11. What’s your favourite quote?

there are always flowers for those who want to see them.

12. Who do you want to meet right now?
suruchi.

13. What is your favourite colour?

scarlet? black?

14. What is your favourite piece of clothing in your own closet?
a black halter dress with an uneven hem... it was the first outfit vin got for me.

15. What is your dream job?

wild-life photog.

16. What’s your favourite magazine?

Reader's Digest. i don't read mags anymore.

17. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on?

digital converter box? i don't know. i have 100 on me... haven't spent it yet...

18. What do you consider a fashion faux pas?

visible lingerie lines.

19. Who according to you is the most over-rated style icon?
freida pinto.

20. What kind of haircut do you prefer?
anything goes. my hair looks the same, no matter how you cut it!

21. What are you going to do after this?

chat with galadriel. like i was before i started doing this.

22. What are your favourite movies?
it's an endless list.

23. What are three cosmetic/makeup/perfume products that you can't live without?

eye liner, chapstick, my burberry perfume.

24. What inspires you ?

depends on which sphere needs inspiration... but mostly, life.

25. Give us three styling tips that always work for you:

i don't use any. being myself helps.

26. What do you do when you “have nothing to wear” (even though your closet’s packed)?

i wear jeans and a tee. with heels.

27. Coffee or tea?

coffee. with milk & sugar, pls.

28. What do you do when you are feeling low or terribly depressed?

i clam up. go offline. and revisit myself.

29. What is the meaning of your name?

google it, will ya?

30. Which other blogs do you love visiting?

all those you'll find in my comments tab

31. Favorite Dessert/Sweet?

cheesecake.

32. Favorite Season ?

monsoons in mumbai.

33. If I come to your house now, what would u cook for me?

ma's cooking... come over! u'll get whatever you'll want!

34. What is the right way to avoid people who purposefully hurt you?

indifference. i'm a pro at that.

35. What are you afraid of the most?

losing my identity.

36. My Question: Is it possible to be in love with two persons simultaneously??
sure it is.

now, as dewey says... Ya wanna da tag? Take-a da tag!

happy b'day G!

2009-10-01T16:26:00.002-05:00

here's wishing a really really special purrson, a really really special day!
happy b'day gurl!

here's wishing you a wonderful b'day with wonderful ppl and a really wonderful year ahead!
you're the beshtest!

the bosses so far...

2009-09-25T10:51:00.003-05:00

dewey blogged abt her boss making me remember the gems of bosses i've had. till i ended up unemployed. again. of course.

my first boss - a boss i seldom speak abt - was one of the most random, most eccentric bosses anyone could ever have had. but fortunately, for me, i didn't have to deal with him much... i left that job in abt 3 months... and i don't even mention it on my resume, considering it doesn't really count as work experience. all i did there was manage paperwork. but yes, i did learn how to handle eccentricity.
sure as hell helped me along the way. also, that one job ensured i left advertising for good.

i joined c2w... where they seemed to empathize with my wanting to leave the prev job. the place seemed nice.. and talking of bosses, this one was a classic. in fact, i still believe he makes a fantastic boss. he grooms you fabulously *i owe my stinker-writing endorsed-by-vibs talent to him*, manages to get the best out of you... and is so hands-on that it merely inspires you to do your best. and the most important thing i learned was that no matter how big you are... you always have time to revert to all the personal/client mails you get. i still attribute my being down to earth *or whatever of it is still untainted* to that one boss.

next was the celeb boss. his quirks i've blogged about before in a few posts... absolute one of a kind! most important learning from him? that only substance is zilch in marketing. you HAVE to have the right attitude. not too much, not too little. JUST right.

then, of course, was the classic hungama. they say that fire is the test of gold... hungama proved to be that fire for me. i grew tremendously... professionally and personally. "the boss" had some qualities that i believe no other boss would have. he's thrown me into the ocean with a mere safety jacket... and watched me struggle... being there ONLY when i've almost drowned. IF i've drowned! :D
we've had our share of tiffs and disagreements. but end of the day, he knew how to create, develop and grow a business. he had this amazing knack of knowing what a "resource" is good at and getting the most out of that one resource. i don't think i could have learned "that" from anyone else.
add to that his quirks.. the fact that he never sleeps, the fact that he doesn't believe in communicating with you unless u're dying... his ability of saying the most hilarious thing in the most matter-of-fact way.. and that thing stops being hilarious... and actually comes up as a feasible solution to the issue.. and leaves you thinking "i'm so stupid to not have thought of that!?"
but there's one little fact that i would always remember him for. he has gone out of his way to help me. and i hope i don't ever forget that.

and like most good things in life... the value of these bosses i realized AFTER i had left the organizations... as they say in hindi... der aaye durust aaye... one thing's for sure... if i ever get back to work... these bosses are going to be a horribly tough act to follow...

this & that...

2009-09-11T14:45:00.003-05:00

from now on, G will be referred to as "kind" galadriel... after a dear friend of mine who saw our recent pics on my FB commented that she looks the "kindest" of the lot.
---------
it's been 3 weeks for me in the new house... and i still am trying to get accustomed to the fact that if i step/look outta my house - it's gorgeous all around! looking at the hills and lakes still makes me smile in child-like wonder. i'm hoping it stays this way for a while at least.
---------
we're off for the weekend... i may be off blog for a little while; at least till ma's settled in... those of you who miss me, pls do mail me. i promise to mail back. and when i get back here, i hope to see at least a few of you regulars around... other than dewey and the kind galadriel, of course :D
---------
amongst other things... my beloved himesh is back! :P the first time i heard this song was when SEV merrily played it for us... and the comic quotient just increases as the days go by. if you need a smirk/laugh.. please do view.

have a good weekend y'all!

blog-pal? naah!

2009-09-09T11:27:00.005-05:00

i know a post is due on galadriel's visit... but try as i may, i cannot write anything about it. for some strange reason... it feels a li'l too personal to post it here... on the blog.. publicly. more like when your best pal visits... and you have a fantastic time.. but you don't blog it.

it's surprising how within a year... she's gone from acquaintance/blog-pal to really really close friend. when you don't even realize that you're sitting while she does the dishes in ur house. one whom you can tell to cook while you get dressed. one you can nag to make chai in the morning, even for the man you married. in fact, HE nags her to make tea. THAT is when you realize how close a friend she really is.

of course, it was really nice to have SEV there, too. and now... finally... i can say that she's in good hands. whatever little niggling doubts i may have ever had *because i hadn't really met him* are now put to rest. good choice, gurl.

the weekend flew by. with lots of chatter, lots of food... and lots of laughter. and before i could realize it, we were saying our goodbyes... vin did attempt saying bye to me too at the airport... but G refused to take me with her. i think everyone's had enough of me. *THIS is where you extend sympathies and say.. "no, no.. we've NOT had enough of you"*

the highlight of the ENTIRE weekend... despite the gorgeous lakes and mountains and company... was definitely the baby bear, that scampered away into someone's backyard coz we scared it with our big red car. our hands were full with food and our mouths open in amazement. so, no. no pictures of baby bear. you HAVE to take our word for it.

as for G and satish visiting us... this pic is proof...
now off i go... looking forward to mom's visit. cleaning up my house. unpacking. yeah, ma reaches here this sunday. whee!

summer? really...?

2009-09-03T10:19:00.007-05:00

so... we've settled in.
a little.

lots of boxes that still need to be unpacked.
but that's ok.
it IS feeling a bit like home already. even with the boxes.

and of course, the wise galadriel... who is obsessive compulsive about cleaning visits me this weekend. *wheeee!!!!* i think i shall make use of her OCD and let HER unpack the rest for me. as a house-warming gift? and hopefully, she'll make us sambhar this time.

anywhoo... the story so far... for those of you who don't know and would like to know *you would, wouldn't you?* is that we've shifted to a little hamlet in NY from a little bigger hamlet in texas. and summers - the way i knew them - have now ceased to exist. from a 100+, we're now living in temps that barely touch the 50s in summer. and i'm loving it!
the ppl are lovely, our apartment's really nice... and the place is gorgeous. and since words really don't do justice to it, i shall leave you guys with a few pics. all clicked near the new house.

the lake... vin's work-place is on the banks of this one...

one of the many mountains along the way...

one of my personal fave pics... :D
so.. that's that... shall see you guys soon. and get back to regular programming real soon.

p.s.: you may want to click on pics to see them without my background messing them up.

happy happy late late

2009-08-28T11:49:00.003-05:00

and i've missed the third b'day for my blog. was on aug 21.

it seems that my personal non-belief in celebrating b'days has translated into reality here. but this space has given me a lot. so this is the least i can do for it. so, happy b'day dear blog. i love you.

and it would probably not mean as much if it weren't for you guys who stop by regularly and comment and/or read. thank you. VERY much. for being there. through good times and bad. coz that's what friends do. real, virtual or both.

here's to new beginnings... cheerz!

p.s.: more on new home later - once i have my own internet connection.

moving on.

2009-08-18T17:51:00.002-05:00

there comes a time in every girl's life when she has to learn the value of holding on and the value of letting go.
the letting go part is really really difficult. but i'm at it.

programming has been irregular of late coz i've been busy. packing, sorting... vacationing! :D
we finally shift on sunday. and i will be internet-less till further notice.
so this here, is kinda sorta an announcement that this space is taking a break. more by default than by choice.

i shall see y'all soon. from a pretty little hamlet - far far away - which shall be known as "home" for future references here.

miss me. coz i'm gonna miss you too.

biker chic

2009-08-10T16:00:00.003-05:00

on the way back home from a lovely weekend at the beach, a group of bikers pass us... conversation, automatically, veers to bikers. and my fascination for the breed.

me: would be SO kewl if you had one of those bikes, no?
vin: for you, you mean?
me: of course! i already have a tattoo, leather boots, jacket and an 'i-give-a-fuck' attitude. i almost qualify for being one of them!
vin: hmm... the pillion seat is called a bitch seat.
you TOTALLY qualify for that!

too much love is happening

2009-08-04T09:40:00.002-05:00

me: u know suruchi has ALREADY bought the cutting glasses i was telling ma to pick for us. WITH the stand!
vin: you had told her also?
me: i didn't tell her! she got it last week only. BEFORE i thought of it!
vin: then why did she buy them?
me: i dunno. telepathy. she thought i'd want them! that is JUST so sweet na!

pause.

vin: i'm even MORE scared of her now. this is sweet, but it's so scary!! how did she know!
me: she knew. bas! and i think it's damn sweet!

after abt 5 mins of thoughtful consideration, while i chomp down on pizza, the man makes a puppy face, looks extremely forlorn... and says...

you know... i can never love you that much.

Galadriel ke Mann Ki Baat

2009-07-29T21:12:00.005-05:00

... jusssst like Rakhi ke Mann Ki Baat.

since amey suggested that UGC could be YOU users actually writing posts here... I took it quite seriously... and of course, made puppy faces and asked Galadriel - of the phamous galadriel porn blog to do me a guest post. NO, this is not a porn guest post. That, is restricted to HER space.
here, she writes this:
--------------------

So she successfully bullied me again and made me write a guest post for her. Now I am not as hardworking as her other victim. I am not going to dig up her old posts (I haven’t read all of them, but don’t tell her, she’s already out to slit my throat) or send her much appreciated gifts. All I’m going to do is what I can do is write something heartfelt and hope she doesn’t knock the crap out of me for being all senti. (Or get the crap knocked out of her by all the other people she didn’t ask to do a guest post! *smirk smirk*)

The first time I became aware of her existence was when she commented on my post. And I think I have Alice to thank for that. Continuously commenting on each other’s blogs, pulling each others’ legs all the time and basically just having fun – this was how our friendship (fraandsheep?) began to grow. When I do a search in my gmail for her, it returns countless results. The first page reads “1-20 of thousands”! We have come to the point where we cannot go one day without mailing each other.

I have seen her transform. One minute she is an 8 year old, laughing at people’s funny accents and the next minute she is a strong wise old lady, giving me sound advice. It makes it so much easier to bounce ideas off of her because she won’t ridicule you. Most likely, she’s already been through a very similar situation and has reacted exactly like you. I have finally begun to understand the meaning of mental connection and how it transcends all physicality.

One of the things I love most about her is her complete lack of pretense. She hates it if anyone calls her beautiful. Like me, she has no illusions about her looks. She knows exactly how attractive she is or isn’t and is one of the few people who are completely satisfied and comfortable in their body. That itself adds oodles of charm to her persona.

I have really only known her for the last year and a few months. And yet I feel like we have known each other for years. So much, that she is the first person in the United States whom I visited and stayed over with. I haven’t even visited my family, which lives on the West Coast. And yet, I have not felt the need to go knocking on her door every so often, like I see so many “BFFs” do all the time. I am perfectly happy seeing her probably once a year, maybe less, hopefully more, now that she’s moving (yayy!).

Currently, of course, we’re totally digging Rakhi Ka Swayamvar. Our chat conversations read like dialogues from the show. We’re waiting with bated breathe to see if she really does marry Eeles *gujju* Parujanwala or the slimy weenie from Deeelie. Makes for very interesting topics for discussions.

But since I don’t know how to end this post, I will leave you with this amaazing clip of our heroine trying her hand at being.. er… human! And oh yeah.. I lauwe you Raysh!!!!

--------------

i lauve you too, G! you're going to be the firsstt fraynd to visit me when i move! it's making me actually look forward to moving! :)

:(

2009-07-29T12:01:00.001-05:00

after years of convincing yourself that you can do anything you set your mind to...
after years of believing that you're not afraid of anything...
after years of believing that you ARE the best...
after years of believing that you are absolutely independent...
after years of maaroing lines like "i am woman, hear me roar" etc...
after years of believing that you don't need anyone else to survive, or even to live...

after all those years...

... all it takes is ONE measly roach to make you whimper on the couch & dash those beliefs.
sigh.

UGC

2009-07-27T14:31:00.004-05:00

since i don't know what to blog about. and since none of you tag me anymore.
i shall use alice's excellent SEV-inspired idea. and use user-generated topics to come up with posts.
so now, YOU tell ME what you'd like me to write about.

some things i cannot do, hence should not be suggested:
- book reviews.
- film reviews
- music reviews.
well, reviews of any kind.

and yes, till you suggest - this qualifies as a post. also, suggestions are welcome all the time, but would love prompt suggestions. as is the case, the man i married is traveling and i have loadsa time to kill on my hand. and NO, i don't need to be reminded that i have to pack. i know. i WILL get to it. eventually.

*for the uninitiated, UGC - user-generated content.

reasonable excuses

2009-07-23T19:12:00.002-05:00

okay... since it's been a while since there's been a proper post... i think i owe it to the VERY few ppl who bothered to notice!
quite a bit has been going on.. highlights of which are as follows:
- SHE is back2blog. all engaged n all. so, go congratulate her! while, dewey is away. that kinda reflects on the low comment count, doesn't it?! but she's been kind enough to visit the blog and get those exotic country flags up there! thenks.
- vin walks the walk on the 14th. FINALLY. that will get it's own post. pucca.
- we're a month away from moving. but we still don't know the EXACT date we move, which mover we would use or when we would move out our stuff! we do know where we're going. thanks heavens for small mercies.
- i've started thinking of packing... which essentially means that my house now looks like a warehouse that was raided. yes, the second bedroom is kinda littered with most of the stuff that should be packed. and erm... yes... i will get to it. eventually. which also means that no guests are now allowed to visit! :D
- i realized that i have a helluva lot of stuff. never thought of myself to be a hoarder. but i guess i have some of my mom's genes too!
- EVERY little bit i own has it's set of memories attached and i can't get myself to give it away or even worse, trash it. makes it all the more difficult to pack and puts me in a vague mood.

this coupled with the fact that there haven't been ANY decent hindi movies of late ensures that i've been leading a rather hassled life. and no, i do NOT wish to watch rakhi ka swayamvar. neither will i watch the potter movie. thank you very much!

so there! now that i've got that off my mind... maybe i can get back to posting regularly...
i know i haven't been too regular on all the blogs i read. but i shall make up for that. soon.

socially networked

2009-07-22T10:14:00.002-05:00

i'd never really taken to social networking.
long back, when i worked in b'bay, an acquaintance had asked me why i didn't have an orkut/FB account. and i'd said "who has the time! besides, i'm in touch with those i want to be in touch with."
partial truth, that.

i definitely didn't have the time. and i was in touch with most of the people i wanted to be in touch with.
some people... i'd lost touch with. for no particular reasons. definitely not because i didn't want to be in touch with them. but sometimes, life happens. and you tend to oversee people who were/are important to you. people you have some really awesome memories with. people who would make you fight. sometimes for them.... sometimes with them! but people you can't really be mad at for long.

when i got to the US, i registered on orkut just to see what the hype was all about. now i had the time... and my friends were across the seas. this seemed like a good way to stay in touch. i started an FB account... then deleted it coz i didn't see the point of it... then, last year, when i went to london, i got back onto FB... played games, took silly quizzes... again, wasting time.
but it wasn't until now that i truly realized how "nice" it could feel.

i got in touch with a couple of really really good friends that i'd lost touch with years and years ago! friends that i'd tried to find earlier... but somehow hadn't managed.
and now, thanks to FB, i've re-connected with them. it's a lot of catching up to do. we all have changed quite a bit over the years. but we're still the same people. it's amazing how and what the mind remembers. silly details... random trivia. but well, i'm happy. to have met them. to have taken the time out to be on a social networking site. and to have finally realized what the hype is all about. for me, now, it seems totally worth it!

in a day...

2009-07-13T13:07:00.003-05:00

here's what the quote of the day, on my gmail, was today.
Timothy Leary - "Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition."

i neither agree. nor disagree.
but, me likey.
why can't i come up with such witty one-liners?!

and amongst other things... research explains why i can't ignore my niece who is rather cat-like. or why my whining cannot be ignored. or why dewey can sucessfully nag me. little manipulative, no? well... who woulda thunk!

30 years of deliciousness.

2009-07-10T10:22:00.005-05:00

yup. it's official.
i have a box which says so!

a box, that reached me after an entire treasure hunt... and a wait - that seemed rather long! a box, that arrived after i was made to straighten my hair WHILE i was online and chatting. a box, which i presumed had CHEESE in it. a box, which i was told had a video of ALL the cheesy b-grade videos which had a heroine named reshma.

it didn't.

but let me start at the beginning. i woke up - on my 30th b'day to hear galadriel say "don't call me back. i'll talk to you tomorrow. bye" in the MOST khadoos voice. this was thanks to the man i married... who saw her missed call from the prev night, accessed VM and held the phone to my ear while waking me up.

a little later when i logged in and went to dewey's.. *yeah, i do that obsessively*, i saw this. then, i was bullied by G to go over to hers and do the entire treasure hunt. *all of it isn't here, but i can't share the rest!* the prize at the end was undisclosed.

so, after abt half a day... of waiting, of chatting, of hearing these two snickering... finally... i got this:

a delish snickers cheesecake.

and it kind of set the tone for the wonderful day that followed.
galadriel, dewey - you gurls are absolutely fantastic. it takes a LOT to go through so much hassle... more so, coz i know how caught up both of you are right now... really really appreciate it! you both mean a helluva lot to me. and i can't thank this space enough for enabling me to meet you. i wish you both could be here... but since that wasn't possible - this was as close to purrfect a bday i've ever had!

and all of you who mailed me - i haven't got down to reverting yet. i promise i will. today! dewey's been nagging me to do this post... so the mails were on the back-burner. but i really really appreciate the wishes. thanks a ton! i had a wonderful day. :)

decadent

2009-07-08T09:35:00.002-05:00

what with the b'day coming up n all... i was asked if i've been thinking/contemplating/introspecting... no. i haven't. somehow, the mood isn't right to introspect too much. that'll happen as it does. irrespective of the date/year...

but dewey's been nagging me... and i also want galadriel back to commenting here *she was on leave, she's back now & needs a new post to comment on!*
so, i'll try and summarize this decade. i've changed tremendously as a person in the past 10 years. i don't even know where and how to start jotting it down. most of this blog is abt the past 10 years of my life.
it all started with me leaving home... it seems so long back if i think in terms of years. but i can r'ber everything so clearly, that it seems like yesterday.

mostly, i figured things as and when... other than at mica, i never had the time to actually chew on things and then analyse. i didn't even know they were learnings till a couple years later, when i looked back and realized how much i had changed. i didn't know then, that change was not always bad. that it was inevitable to change. but i learned.

have i grown wiser over the years? i'm not sure. but yeah, i have grown up. in ways i hadn't thought possible. if i were to look at me 15 years ago - i see a totally different person. okay, not totally different. but a LOT different. more impulsive, faster to react, someone who didn't know the difference between reacting and responding... someone who took ppl at face value. someone naive... definitely a lot less cynical and a lot more self-absorbed!
but still, in a lot of ways, i'm still the same. i still cannot think beyond me and mine first. only that now, i know when to curb it. i am definitely a lot more tolerant. more at peace with myself. i know where i am... and where i'm heading. and that even if i don't always know, it's alright. i do know how to manage relationships a lot better and to pick my battles wisely. i now realize that i don't always need to be in control of everything. that it's okay to let go. in a lot of ways, i'm content. but there is still this need to know more. to try and be better. and i hope that always stays.

so well... before this post turns into a mush-fest and i get into serious introspection; go ahead & wish me. while i go off and have fun! and as long as u wish me while it's the 9th in ur country - u don't have to add a 'belated' to it! :D

plus five

2009-06-30T13:26:00.003-05:00

prats tagged me to do the 5 things abt me... and considering she's blogged after all these months only to tag me, i shall do it. also, it indulges the vain me! :D
so, here's 5 things abt me, in no particular order of importance.

- i expect a lot from ppl who i'm really close to. but it's never more than what i would do for the person. it's almost always 50-50.
though, the closer you are to me, the more i tend to take u for granted. sure u'll know how much you mean to me. but i expect you to u'stand when i disappear for a while... and re-emerge. i expect you to continue where we left off. and not sulk and whine. i also give you the same space. and if i do anything to upset you, i WILL make up for it. however best i can.

- i believe that all of us, as humans, are extremely selfish. we evaluate pros and cons of most situations and if we think something may be detrimental for us, we avoid it. there are exceptions. but very few act out of their love for random mankind. we bother about "me and mine" mostly.
and i don't think it is a wrong thing. i accept the fact that i am self-absorbed and move on. unless i manage me and my world properly, how can i think of contributing to anything larger...?

- i believe relationships are very complex. and every r'ship has it's own dynamic. i don't take moral stand-points on r'ships and/or affairs anymore. i used to. till very recently. i believe i've come a long way from being a judgemental bitch to understanding that there may be hues that i neither see nor comprehend. and i leave them be. i no longer think of ppl who put themselves down for their partners as doormats. or ppl who have affairs while in a stable r'ship as bitches/bastards. they have their own reasons. i simply don't judge. and i don't know how long this non-judgemental phase will last - but this is as close as i get to saintly! :D

- i know that i will not lose my individuality. i used to be insecure about this. quite a bit. esp when i had just got married. but now i'm sure. it's something that's me. it may change... it may get better or worse. but it will still, quintessentially, be me.

- how patient i am about something depends directly on how beneficial that thing is to me. at least, how beneficial I perceive it to be for me. which is why i seem to lose interest in things rather soon. however, if i really want something, i can be extremely tenacious. to the point of being a pain in the backside for everybody around me. such things are rather few, but they're absolutely worth it!

i also have dottie's domestic horror tag to do... will get to it in a bit.

now, doing guest posts.

2009-06-29T17:14:00.000-05:00

since, it's not enough to restrict the madness to this space, we shall continue it here.
if any of are actually entertained by inane bollywood-like stories... do hop over and read the desi-ized story of nero.
in parts. because picture abhi baaki hai, mere dost...

problem-solving music

2009-06-22T20:00:00.000-05:00

issue:

one of the boys that stay upstairs, plays the tabla *or something that sounds like it* THRU the day. and really late into the night. i don't know what he does for a living or how he survives. but it's rather silent here... and the noise annoys me.

usually, i ignore it. but i've been home alone and have enough difficulty falling asleep without that irritating noise!

also, normally, i'm rather forgiving. but the reason i now p'larly do not like these boys is that they shoved stuff down the kitchen sink and clogged up the entire line; affecting mine, of course. and i had to run around looking for maintenance ppl - coz apparently, they only care abt the music, not backed-up sinks or roaches! but that issue's been taken care of by the maintenance guy who came by last time. so, coming to the current problem of too much tabla noise...

possible solutions:

a. go upstairs and tell them to keep it down.

b. call the main offc and complain. so, they can send a huge guy to warn them and/or stick a notice on their door.

c. go upstairs and stick a post-it on their door.

excuses for not doing any of the above: i'm not whiny. i AM lazy and don't wanna climb up stairs or change and go out. it's too hot to go outside in the day. i don't want to go knocking on strange boys' doors at night when i'm alone. and i prefer solving my problems myself.

so, my solution:

after two days of tolerance, i play himesh. non-stop.

from 8.30 a.m to 7.30 p.m.

then, i pause the playlist and take the trash out. when i realize that it has already borne results.

result: he has stopped playing. and has stuck a post-it on our door saying "sorry if we were noisy"

well... peace. and i hope they don't start off again, or i'll have to find himesh's version of gayatri mantra and play it real loud early in the morng.

for 'better' or for 'worse'?

2009-06-15T16:24:00.002-05:00

after a really genuine attempt at seizing the cheese fries out of vin's hand... i failed. i don't take that very nicely - not winning, that is. so i did what i do best. i used the claws.
and then, i did what i do next best. i made puppy faces, so he won't get too bugged. *yeah, that still works - depending on the seriousness of the damage.*

he looks at the gash, then at me. and quips:
"thank god you're the better half. wonder WHAT would happen if you were the worse."

so crazy. so honored.

2009-06-09T17:07:00.003-05:00

badge of honor bestowed upon Her Royal Madness. *ME!!!!!!*

just when i was beginning to believe that madness is a quality seldom appreciated... this is what my beloved dewey mailed me today. and then followed up till i did this post.
but honestly... me LOUVE! both, dewey AND the badge. and all of you. who encourage the madness! :)

p.s.: all the words above the badge are hers.

tag-of-the-month

2009-06-08T11:27:00.004-05:00

since i have nothing intelligent or inane to say, i was gonna flick this tag from loca. but before i could do it, prashanti tagged me. so here...

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
my hair's not as bad as i think it is!

2. How much cash do you have in your wallet right now?
$7 and 45 GBPs. i had to find my wallet for this, u know?!

3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
floor.

4. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
i dunno. i think it's one of those "i have a special announcement" kinda calls which i don't bother answering.

5. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
real tone: "pls pick up the phone, will ya pls pick up the phone?"
ex-personal fave: real-tone of "aye chhori... zara nachke dikha"
NEVER failed to make me smile when my phone rang!

6. What are you wearing right now?
i'm a very private person. i refuse to answer this! :D

7. Do you label yourself?
i don't understand labels wrt humans. i DO label boxes when we're shifting though.

8. Name the brand of the shoes you currently own?
ALL the shoes i own? i don't think so!
the ones lying here are aldo ankle boots and black reebok sneakers.

9.Bright or Dark Room?
dark.

10. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
prashanti: interesting.
loca: one of my oldest blog-pals! really like this one! :)

11. What does your watch look like?
a mobile phone. that's what it looks like.
the wall clock is square and has a rooster on it.

12. What were you doing at midnight last night?
cleaning the dishes before going to sleep.

13. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
i don't get text mesgs. and i don't r'ber what the last text i got 3 years ago said.

14. What’s a word that you say a lot?
maaaoowwww... or meoowwww... or miaooowww... you get the point, right?

15. Who told you he/she loved you last?
technically, minal.
but a few mins before that... dewey. and when dewey was told that minal beat her at the tag, here's what she said:
"dammit
no she cannot

I LAUUUUUUUUVVVVVVVEEEEEEEE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

maine chillake bola

I win"

so.. there... also, dewey wins coz she tells me she loves me at least 3 times a day. everyday. :)

16. Last furry thing you touched?
eh? my niece's stuffed toy, maybe. i dunno.

17. Favourite age you have been so far?
now's the best time.

18. What was the last thing you said to someone?
in person? seee yaaa... to vin.
online: "muah!" to dewey.

19.The last song you listened to?
rishte... life in a metro.

20. Where did you live in 1987?
at home.

21. Are you jealous of anyone?
erm... no. i'm too self-absorbed to notice anyone else in that much detail.

22. Is anyone jealous of you?
i wouldn't know. are you?

23. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
engagement ring, clothes, footwear.

24. What’s your favourite town/city?
Mumbai.

25. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
no clue! i think when i was at mica, i wrote a paper-waala letter. can't r'ber to whom, though.

26. Can you change the oil on a car?
theoretically, yes. practically, never tried. *i'm theoretically purrfect, u see*

27. Your first love/big crush: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
i don't even r'ber my first crush. *gosh! i'm old!!*

28. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
no. nothing hurts.

29.What is your current desktop picture?
a picture of cottages at saranac lake in winter.

30. Have you been burnt by love?
no. not been "burnt" by anything.

what do you do...

2009-06-03T17:29:00.004-05:00

...when u realize that someone you were talking to was trying... really trying, to annoy you. and is now annoyed themselves. bcoz you didn't get annoyed.
in fact, you didn't even realize the attempt. but then, it's been brought to your attention by a mutual friend. and u're amused, at the most. by how much effort ppl need to put in simply to annoy you. and fail to understand why it would be worth the effort.

what do you do, then? do you...
a. go ahead and remain unaffected... annoying the person who was trying to annoy you.
or
b. pretend to be annoyed and let the person be happy with their cheap thrills.

hmm... the nonsensical quirks of human beings!

edited to add:
here's what i do: i blog about it, knowing fully well that said friend reads this space. and is going to be more annoyed now. THAT is how I get my cheap thrills. sulk not, my friend! such is life! :)

tag-of-the-month

2009-05-27T19:31:00.002-05:00

was tagged a long time back by pixie to list down 9 of my most vivid and special memories... i'm doing only the special part today... the ones i r'ber vividly are too random to put down as memories. the mushy nature is due to being alone at home... it tends to make me all senty and nostalgic!

so, in no particular order... these are my tag-of-the-month moments:

- walking down marine drive while it drizzled. u haven't lived if you haven't done this. it's just SO special.

- reaching home from school to an excited dog who'd ALWAYS be happy to see me. no matter what my day had been like.

- suruchi's house. all the evngs spent there... chatting, bitching, cribbing, whining... mostly, bitching... there was a comfort in knowing she was 10 mins away. and i really really miss that.

- going off on drives on sundays with the family. EVERY sunday. all four of us. not knowing that this won't last forever. and soon we'd have to make plans just so 4 of us could be under the same roof together. sigh.

- the 4 days i spent at minal's in 2004, when i was SO unsure of where i was headed in life.

- galadriel visiting me on my bday last year. she was the first blog-pal i was to meet... and i was quite unsure how i'd live up to my virtual image. i am still amazed by how comfortable we all were with each other!

- dad calling and telling me that i'd got through to mica. i made him read it out to me. i was afraid he mis-read NOT accepted, as accepted!

- feeling intimidated by the brightness of people who worked with me at c2w. not knowing whether i deserved to be there... with them... in the same room. *this was way back when i wasn't as smart-assed abt myself!*

- saying goodbye to dewey at the bus-stop. she was leaving for india the next day... and i'd be gone from london by the time she got back. *i'm not good with good-byes*

- landing for the first time in the US. and thinking that vin wouldn't be there to pick me up coz he'd acquired cold feet and wanted to back-out! yeah, i REALLY thought he wouldn't turn up and i'd have to figure out a way to go back. i was more relieved than happy to see him there.

i realized i've already crossed the limit of nine. but i don't think memories is something that can be limited by quantities. which, again, is the reason i blog. to r'ber things... such that i don't need to limit them. and there's a dozen more i'd like to add here... but then again, some are much too private and much too special to be shared. so, for blog & tag purposes... this should do for now!

see y'all soon.

i've got "royal" mail... :)

2009-05-20T15:29:00.007-05:00

r'ber how ecstatic i get on receiving surprise gifts in my mail? well, click here if u're really interested!

so, today...there was a surprise in my mailbox. there was a key. not to a corvette or a house... but to the bigger mailbox, which holds "packages". dewey had been rather persistently asking me if i'd checked my POST - since monday. so, obviously... i knew she'd sent me something! and i've been eagerly anticipating this "post" since then.

i reached into the mailbox and picked out this large red flashy box with "royal mail" stamped on it. dunno about you, but i have never got "royal mail" before! heck, i barely ever get ANYthing addressed to me other than flying miles statements!

so i rushed back home with the huge box, cut it open... and dropped all the straw on the carpet *yeah, i know*... and out came this gorge box..
at first glance, i thought the mad child had sent me ice cream!!! it sure looked like a yum ice cream tub with the awesomest li'l kitties on it... and she HAS been talking of sending me cheesecake... the box also had a sticker which said "NOT a TOY"; i quickly removed the sticker and trashed it along with the straw.

once i'd done that, i opened it, rather carefully wondering if this was ice-cream or cheesecake or jewelery...

and out came a kitty mug with a delightful red tassel!! and it's filled with cookies! :D i HAVE promised to save at least one cookie for vin... as per her instructions. but we shall see.

and now, while the bitch watches wolverine, i sit here alone and miss her! how i'd have LOVED it if she'd hand-delivered this! i solemnly swear that i will not ever let anyone else even touch this mug! other than you - when u come over! do make that soon.
now let me go clean the carpet and drink coffee in my new mug! ^_^

follow thy own beat

2009-05-19T13:34:00.002-05:00

rather late in the night... after a hectic 3 days. vin's really sleepy.. and after being sleepy for the entire day, i'm finally awake.

vin: PLEASE sleep! i've to get up early tomorrow.
me: but i's no being sleepy. wake upppp!!!
vin: ENTIRE day u were sleepy and crabby. pls sleep now. or at least let me sleep.
me: but now i'm NOT! and if i'm awake and u're here, i HAVE to talk.
vin: read something boring. u'll feel sleepy.
me: no, i'll go have coffee
vin: NOO!!! coffee's a stimulant. u'll be awake longer!
me: but i want to be stimulated into sleeping. so it should do that, no? NO?

'catch' me if you can?

2009-05-08T10:22:00.004-05:00

when i'm traveling or away for a while, i often tend to forget to call vin. it's not that i don't miss him. it's just that i don't like the phone much. and even if i call, it's cursory and to-the-point. i prefer telling him in person.

he's been my opposite, so far, where it comes to calling. if he had a one-stop flight, he'd even call from the stop and let me know he had a good/bad flight and he was hopping onto the next. and of course, i would tease him and call him a little boy.. but well, that's another topic!

but then, everything changes. this time when he's off. i've been nagging him every couple hours. while he has made his absence rather conspicuous by the lack of phone calls! even when i'd called, i got replies in monosyllables or single sentences.

later, five phone calls later, he called...

vin: just got to the hotel. it's...

me: what took u SO long, eh?!

vin: eh? it's 2.30? how long should it take?

me: oh. different timezone...

vin: yeah.. lissen, if the net's not working, u can use dial-up, okay?

me: net's fine. i'll be okay.

vin: okay... talk to u later, then. bye.

okay bye???

that is all i get for calling?!

sigh! i now know how it feels to be on the other side of the coin.

i'm not so irked by the lack of calls... as i said, i am not much of a call person myself. what bothers me is the fact that HE was the one who believed in calling. and now, i've gone ahead and affected his programming.

oh geez! i'm contagious...!

wonder what he'll catch next!

a year. so soon?

2009-05-05T12:16:00.000-05:00

time flies, they say.

it's been a year. already.

a year since i got that dreaded call from my brother. a day before i was to leave for india, asking if i wanted them to wait till i reached, or was it okay to pull the plug.

it seemed straight out of a movie. except it wasn't. it wasn't happening to someone far away... someone fictional.. it was happening to the most important man in my life. and all i could do was pull myself together and sound strong. think what would be best, not for me... but for him. and i like to think that is what i did.

i reached a day too late.

it offended me when people said "but you were prepared for it. so it's not that bad". it is always THAT bad. you can NEVER be prepared for it. yes, it's not sudden. but does suddenness make things more drastic? does anticipation numb the feeling? i know it doesn't. but i didn't snap. i knew they meant well. all i said... and still say.. is 'it was the best for him'.

it doesn't surprise me when people tell me i'm a lot like my dad.

i have his attitude, his sarcasm... his disbelief in religion or god... his 'disapproving twitch of the eye' that worked better than a 1000 words. even his sense of humour. and i have his ability to do anything i can for those i love. of course, i am a lot more selective, self-absorbed than he ever would have been. but that, i attribute to the generation gap.

i could never understand how he could be there for people who had so blatantly let him down. i wish he hadn't. they didn't deserve it. they didn't deserve him. but he didn't question that.

i spoke to him a day before. when he told me "ur mom's overacting, as always. i'm fine. you don't need to come." we spoke for a while, he joked... we laughed and i told him to take care and let me know if he felt that there was even a "slight" need for me to come down. even "just". benefits of unemployment, i joked.

i met with one of their *mom and dad's* childhood friends last week. she was visiting her son here and was to leave a couple days after we met. when i spoke to mom y'day, she told me that aunty had said that mom had every reason to be proud of me. i was a lot like my dad. i had his spirit, to live and enjoy life.

that was, and probably will be the nicest thing anyone has said about me behind my back.

i do hope i can continue being like him.

it's been a year. and daddy's little girl sure has grown up.

p.s.: this was in my drafts. couldn't post it on the 5th. so, am back-dating and publishing it.

not too good...?

2009-05-01T11:12:00.002-05:00

in order to ground myself... and i need to do this from time to time... i'm gonna be listing my negative traits. also, these are some of the things i'd like to change... so documenting it. and i will see how much of this i manage to change and by when.
so effectively, this post may be boring for quite a few.. but then, it's my blog... and as a wise human said "boredom is under-rated"

:: i detest people taking leave from work. it's something i don't understand. i never denied annyone leave, but couldn't do it myself. i do not let vin take leave. we plan whatever we need to / want to do over long weekends or weekends. am i happy i married a workaholic!
:: i can be, and usually am, very sarcastic to people who are intellectually challenged. i try not to.. but it happens.. like, automatically? of course, there's no fun in it, coz the sarcasm is lost. but it's an entertaining process/conversation. at the end of it, they usually think i'm a wonderful person.. i get entertained. win-win situation. but deep down, i know it's mean.
:: i bite my nails. i claw out the skin off my feet and sometimes fingers. yeah, i know.
:: i have a set of 4 expressions. unless you know me well... or i like you. but for all other purposes, i will only exhibit four expressions. one of them is indifference. makes ppl believe i'm getting bored when i'm not.
:: i procrastinate. BIG time.
:: i do not completely understand categories/definitions etc. i would like to. really like to. but there seems to be a defect in my programming that prevents me from this comprehension.
:: i tend to forget most of my negative traits rather quickly!

apart from this, i'm pretty much purrfect!
yeah, i know... that should be one of the points too, eh?

age old issues?

2009-04-20T10:31:00.003-05:00

fri evng... chicken, beer and the 70s show...
i, of course, take it upon myself to make it trivia time!

me: *referring to ashton kutcher* heard of how he won over CNN on twitter?
vin: eh? no. cnn, the channel?
so i tell him in as great detail as i can r'ber.
me: ... and demi moore said...
vin: why was she commenting? who asked her?
me: huh? she's his wife no? she was doing wifely thing by saying...
vin: WHAT?? WTF??? really???
me: hehehe.. this is hilarious...!! u didn't know!? :D
vin: of course not! why would i... but really??
me: what're u so surprised for?
vin: she's a LOT older than him... no?
me: hahaa... you also like older women. and she's hot.
*still in shock abt kutcher's marital status*
vin: huh?? yeah.. but old is not... not that old... around your age is okay.

ouch! really. ouch!
*no, the rest of the conversation cannot be blogged*

thought for the week.

2009-04-10T13:29:00.007-05:00

titled thus, coz i can't think of a title for this piece... will change it if and when i do.

every girl dreams of getting married. at some point of time in our lives, we have all fantasized about our very own knight in shining armor/tux... on horseback or in convertibles... who'll whisk us away to the happy land of forever. those disney fairy tales, bollywood and chick-flicks only add to it as u're growing up. but life is not a fairy tale. and it doesn't end at marriage. it begins there.

and it is something that nothing conditions us for. we are not in the least prepared for what happens after. of all the expectations from us. of all the so-called responsibilities. and yes, it is more difficult for the woman. she is "expected" to embrace an entire new family. overnight, everything is supposed to change. and i agree, it changes for both... but it's the woman who has left her "home"... she's the one who can't expect tea in bed anymore. if the couple lives out of the country, when they go back to the country, they're supposed to stay at his place - visiting her parents. not fair? well, heck no! but that's the way it is, isn't it? i know, for a fact, that when i have gone back to india... and stayed with my parents... i've raised eyebrows.

things like "a woman should go to her in-laws house first" or "she must change her name when she marries" or "she now 'belongs' to her husband" or "her parents shouldn't be living with her permanently" are things that sound EXTREMELY regressive to me. but apparently, they're not. most parents of ppl i know "believe" that their daughter's house is not their house once she's married. they wouldn't stay there unless it's a visit or they have no other option. and i've heard this from so many relatives and family friends *wrt their daughters/sons* that it really stopped being funny.

why does this seem so normal to us.. that we either don't think about it much or totally dismiss it as a part of life? i know that i'm the wrong person to be doing this piece or asking these questions... i have accepted most of this... willingly, even... and i am quite happy. but that doesn't change anything, does it?
i never had issues about it. in fact, i never thought about it. it was the way i was conditioned since i was a kid, i guess. everything in my upbringing conditioned me for the fact that someday i would leave my parents' home. not for a career, but by virtue of marriage. *i don't think "love" would be the appropriate word here* i still do not have issues. but that is because i've ended up being really lucky about my decisions. not smart, as i say i am... but merely lucky.

i did leave behind my parents, my friends, my career and everything that i called "life" till that point... to be with vin. and i was scared. the first 2 days in vin's home were terrifying for me. i've never said this before... but i wanted to run away to the security of my own house. my own room. everybody was really nice... but it was all so new for me. and i was SO unprepared. even the sharing a closet. yes, silly tiny detail... but i had NEVER shared my closet with anyone! and it was a big deal for me. i need some space when i wake up in the morng... and i didn't know whether i could still get it. whether i was wrong in expecting it. and i had NO idea how to deal with it. but, as always... i digress.

what i don't u'stand is this: why is it that we are "okay" with moving out of our own homes... leaving our parents behind, so to speak... why don't we expect a guy to do all of this for us? and if we do... is that so wrong? if it's not wrong, why is it frowned upon?
or are we taught from a young age that we have to someday, move out of our homes, "adjust" to living with someone else's family...? it's the 0-point-something women living in metropolitan india who would understand *if, at all* that adjusting is not compromising. what about the rest? and we... the so-called educated, urban, smart... liberated and mostly, intelligent women. would we raise our children without such stereotypes? or is there some logic to all of this 'this isn't your home once u're married' crap, that maybe, i'm missing?

suruchi did this post on bidaai... and we got into a discussion. on marriage. and now i'm rather confused. and she's abandoned me and gone off! so i'm posting this here... as an open discussion. let me know what you think.

told ya a 100 times!

2009-04-08T10:10:00.004-05:00

tag of the month time. tagged by purnima. her link should be in the comments section there...

LAST TIMES…
1. Last beverage: coffee
2. Last phone call: spoke to vin last night. *don't ask why he was calling!*
3. Last text message: i don't recv texts.
4. Last song you listened to: kambakht ishq - the new one.
5. Last time you cried: march 31st. without a reason.

HAVE YOU EVER...
6. Dated someone twice: nah.
7. Been cheated on? : hahaa... not that i know of.
8. Kissed someone & regretted it? : nopes
9. Lost someone special? : yes.
10. Been depressed? : i have my phases... yes.
11. Been drunk and threw up? : yeah! everytime i combine shrimp with alcohol i throw up. *this, after a thorough analysis of my drinking and throwing up pattern!*

LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLORS:
12. black
13. scarlet
14. deep purple
15. fresh green

FIRSTS :
16. Made new friends: eh? sure! they were all new initially.
17. Fallen out of love: yeah. i have my phases, u know.
18. Laughed until you cried: no. but laughed till i couldn't breathe & my stomach hurt.
19. Met someone who changed you: yes. everybody i meet has the capacity of making me change something in me.
20. Found out who your true friends were: yes
21. Found out someone was talking about you: yes! more, bitching than talking! ;)

HAVE YOU:
22. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: yeah.. sure!
23. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: not good with numbers... but yeah, i know most of them.
24. How many kids do you want to have: et tu, blog?? i want one.. vin wants a lot!
25. Do you have any pets: no. but i waaannnntttt!!!
26. Do you want to change your name: nopes. don't see why i should.
27. What did you do for your last birthday: galadriel was here!!! we had cake *which i had to bake...*, tried to remove it before it cooled... thereby almost ruined it... drove up to houston to drop her... she did "dilbar dilbar" at waterwall... we got lost... it started pouring... we had to cancel plans of going to kemah and dropped her off at the airport. i came back and blogged it! :D
and oh... she ALMOST made sambhar.
28.What time did you wake up today: eh? didn't check the clock, but i'm told it was early.
29. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping.
30. Name something you CANNOT wait for : i can wait! :)
31. Last time you saw your father: may 2007.
32. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: lots of things. but i am working on changing what i can.
33. Most visited web page: gmail

WHAT'S YOUR :
34. Name: rayshma
35. Nicknames: catty, kittie, resh, ray, ray-ray...
36. Zodiac sign: cancer
37. Male or female or transgender : female
38. Elementary: st. joseph, pashan.. pune.
39. College: symbi *i guess takers of this tag are not reqd to have studied beyond college! :D*
40. Hair color: used to be deep brown.. now it depends.
41. Long or short: i have horrible, frizzy hair that can't be cut above shoulder level.
42. Height: enough to look good with vin.
43. Do you have a crush on someone? : currently, adam lambert.
44. Ever been in love? : i'm in love with being in love.
45. Piercings? : ears.
46. Tattoos? : one... YES!
47. Righty or lefty: righty
48. First surgery: appendicitis.
49. First piercing: a few days after i was born. it's kind of a tradition or something.
50. First best friend: i dunno... the one who stood the test of time... priya.
51. First sport you loved: i don't love sports.
52. First pet : the white cat we had when i was 1. next was a lhasa apso... never liked the dog much.. he bit me! :D
53. First vacation: when i was 3. can't rber where. don't wanna chk with mom.
54. First concert: my concert?? who do u think i am?
55. First crush: oh plz! now u want me to r'ber my crushes?!

RIGHT NOW:
56. Eating: nutella s/w
57. Drinking: V8 *mango-peach*
58. I'm about to: post this tag
59. Listening to: aaj ki raat... the new don.
60. Waiting for: something nice to happen.

YOUR FUTURE
61. Want kids? : yeah. get off my back, will ya?
62. Want to get married? : again? yeah, sure!
63. Careers in mind? : i'm way past that age, i think!

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
64. Lips or eyes: eyes
65. Hugs or kisses: i'm not a touchy-feely person... hand-shake should do fine. even a "hail hitler" kinda hi would do!
66. Shorter or taller: guys shouldn't be shorter than me. really.
67. Older or Younger: wiser.
68. Romantic or spontaneous: spontaneous.
69. Nice stomach or nice arms: nice arms
70. Sensitive or loud: sensitive
71. Hook-up or relationship: relationship.
72. Trouble maker or hesitant: trouble maker

HAVE YOU EVER :
73. Kissed a stranger: no. i barely look at strangers, forget kissing them.
74. Lost glasses/contacts: nopes.
76. Broken some one's heart: unintentionally... i think so.
77. Had your own heart broken: yeah. it breaks very easily.
78. Been arrested: no. but been inside a police van.
79. Turned someone down: yes. the guys i knew had very weird timing.
80. Cried when someone died: yes.
81. Liked a friend that is a girl? : LOVE them all.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
81. Yourself: totally. without a doubt ever!
82. Miracles: absolutely.
83. God: i don't know... i want to, but can't get myself to.
84. Love at first sight: humbug! er.. no.
85. Heaven: the common definition.. no.
86. Santa Claus: YES!
87. Kiss on the first date? : that depends on who is dating whom and kissing whom, doesn't it? unless it's my kid, i don't see why they need my approval!
88. Angels: yes. the guardian angels, for sure.
89. Devils: hahaaha.. i am NOT commenting on this one!

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
*was i allowed to lie till this point?*
90. Is there one person you want to be with right now? : yes. but he'd rather be with the dentist! :(
91. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? : girlfriends yes. boyfriend... no.
92. Wanted to kill someone ever? : ohhh yeah! i have a list y'know!
93. Among your blog mates, whom would you like to kiss? : DDD, G, suruchi... oh, wait.. she aint a blog-mate!
94. Committed a blunder and regretted later? : no. i think thru what i do. usually!
95. Wanted to steal your friend's boyfriend / girlfriend? : nopes.. never! and let this be the declaration for that! my friends are way too important.

ASSOCIATE WITH SOMETHING YOU WEAR :
96. White: capris
97. Black: boots
98. Red: tee
99. Pink: eww... nothing! i don't wear anything pink.
100. Posting this as 100 Truths? : no. as "100 things u wanted to ask me, but couldn't". didn't read the title, did ya?!

whoever's vella enough to do this... plz take it up...

home is where u belong...

2009-04-05T12:07:00.002-05:00

there are a few questions that leave me totally blank for a few seconds. what did u do for a living...? where, in india, are you from...? being 2 of those few.

now, technically... home would *and should* be pune. and it shouldn't be a question that leaves me confused. i've spent a major part of my life... well over 20 years there... i have a lot of memories - good & bad - associated with the town... my mom still lives there... so that should be what i consider home.
but it's not.

i do like it. yes. i also love the shrewsbury biscuits and bakarwadi and kayani cake. but apart from that.. and my mom, i really can't think of anything that would make me want to go back.
i think since i was 15 or so... i wanted to move out of the city. of course, dad vetoed it initially.. then gave me the option of leaving the city under two circumstances:
a. get a respectable job that you may not get here, or
b. get admission into a post grad school which is better than the ones in pune.
a, i thought was not possible without b... so that's about when i discovered about the CAT... and decided that was my only hope of getting out of town.
WHY i wanted to leave... i don't know. i just never felt "comfortable" enough there.
once i left... i never felt like going back. usually, these things happen to me in phases. i WANT something real bad... i work for it.. i get it... then i get bored and leave it and return to whatever it was i loved and had before. but not this time. i was "happy" being away from pune. i was at home in bbay. the last place i thought would be 'home' for me. *i still hate local trains and a lot of other things about bbay... but it doesn't lessen the way i love that city!*

today, when i say "i want to go home".. i really want to go meet my mom, get pampered for a while... then move on to bbay... and actually "feel" at home. for some reason... i don't see myself living in any other city! when i say home, i think bbay.

a lot of ppl think i love pune. i do give the city it's due because i have memories there... of growing up... of finding myself... but i doubt i'd defend it if there were an argument on pune v/s bbay. i know i may sound vociferous when i say "it's a great city!" but that's the way i talk. doesn't have to mean that i AM that passionate about what i'm saying! :P *i even sound assertive when i talk of B-grade bollywood films...doesn't mean i love them.*

i know it's strange... to not really associate with a city that u spent over 20 years of ur life in... but to call a place where u spent merely 6 years - home. makes me feel a little rootless at times... but well.. not everything has to make sense.

p.s.: this post is a li'l all over the place... but then it's like that in my head too...

at ease...

2009-03-31T10:18:00.002-05:00

:: lying around in bed... too lazy to wake up... too awake to go back to sleep...
planning an unplanned day... waking up once u decide to 'take it as it comes'...
:: randomly bickering abt mucking up the kitchen over the dinner he made last evng... not really caring abt it tho...
:: morning session of nat geo/discovery/animal planet... discussing if you should relocate to africa...deciding against it.
:: lazy languid afternoons... on the couch.. surfing channels... watching arbit movies that interested u once-upon-a-time...
:: beautiful day outside... mild sunshine... pleasant breeze... the joy that spring brings with it...
:: a nice drive around the countryside... conversation bringing as much pleasure as the silence...
:: meeting friends for dinner... the laughter that stays with you... makes you apppreciate what you have rather than dwell on what you don't...
:: a walk in the evng breeze... over lit path-ways which will soon be insect-infested... over unlit paths which make it all the better...
:: watching movies till late... without so much as a glance at the watch....
no haste.. no hurry... no worry...
just togetherness.
been a while... will be a while again... till there comes a day that'll be so peaceful... so relaxed...

the little things, that make happy memories. completely unexpected... unplanned... simple... beautiful.

just a thought...

2009-03-20T11:11:00.003-05:00

they say that it takes adversity to bring out the best in a couple. that if a couple stays together... stands by each other through difficult times... then they will stay together no matter what.

i wonder how a couple would know that they've been through enough? it's one thing to say "i know we will be happily together, forever" and it's another to really really understand and mean it.

and once they know... do the tough times stop? or is it like the GRE... if you manage to survive through the tough times... going forward.. they only get tougher?

edited to add:
'forever', for the purview of this post, refers to "till death do us part".

remember the time...?

2009-03-18T09:39:00.003-05:00

sometimes, i think a bad memory is a wonderful thing to have. when u can't rber where u were ten/fifteen years ago... with whom or what you were doing/saying... i think it would be wonderful to be like that.
me? i vividly r'ber every random detail of my life. i have to think, of course... and it sometimes just comes to me.. without a reason.
for instance:
i r'ber the license plate of the fiat we had when i was 5.

i r'ber the license plate of the school bus which i used to take to school. and the driver's name.

i r'ber getting home my first kitten... i must have been around 5 or 6... we got her from one of dad's friend... i r'ber their house in detail though i've never been there again.

i r'ber that a friend of mine from school borrowed this really cute skirt i had - and she didn't return it. the wierd thing is, i didn't r'ber this back then... when i should have asked her. i r'bered it this morning... while making bfast. and i rummaged through my belongings to see if i still had it. then i called mom and asked her if it was home. she didn't r'ber what i was talking abt.. so i had to explain, in detail! *yeah, i'm quite irritating that way when i want something!*
and now that it's not there.. i rber that she'd borrowed it... and that was the last i've seen of it. sigh.

i r'ber what i wore on my bday when i was 8.

i r'ber refusing to eat rice with my hands when i was 9... we'd gone to a rel's place and they hadn't given me a spoon or a fork.. and i asked them for one. i was told "rice should be eaten with your fingers only" and i said "i don't think i want to eat rice then".

i r'ber names of girls from school... some of whom i've never spoken to.

i r'ber this guy i knew - via some friends - going through a really bad time after his girlfriend dumped him. and i don't think i've ever spoken to him.

i r'ber C teaching me how to apply eye-liner when we were back-stage at a college do. actually, i owe all my make-up tips to her. and to think we went to the same school and hardly spoke to each other there!

i r'ber bdays of ppl i have hardly known. really. i still r'ber one of my friends ex-boyfriends bdate. i'm sure even she must have forgotten it by now!

i r'ber the number of the first credit card i had. this was abt 8 years ago... and i have no reason to r'ber it. funnily, i don't rber vin's CC number!

i r'ber when vibha and i were first introduced, after my interview at c2w - she was planning the office party, and i was the new recruit - her first line to me was "hi!!! so, what do u drink? beer, vodka, whiskey?" while i stared at her and contemplated my decision. from then, to now... i've sure come a long way!

i r'ber losing my wallet and having to take the auto to a friend's place so he could pay it off. then i borrowed money from him till i could get my new debit card! it took 2 weeks, for them, to give it to me. and yes, i paid him back.

i r'ber suruchi saying to me - after a couple days of us having been introduced - "thank god u're normal!"

i r'ber the first time vin and i mailed each other. i don't rber any of the mails after that.

obviously, memory retention doesn't seem to be selective here. so i r'ber all the good, not-so-good and the bad things. about random things and ppl who hardly affected my life even then. and i can't help but think that i'm forgetting some important things. important to me, maybe. bcoz there can be only limited space, right? only so many sections for memories? and mine are crammed with irrelevant details. no wonder i forget SO much that i should remember! it's not coz i'm getting older. it's coz i'm out of space!

back 2 blog

2009-03-17T12:09:00.003-05:00

what have i done taking this wonderful, supposed-to-be-long-but-short sabbatical?!
if you think i tried to find answers to existential questions... or planned out my life for the next 5 years... read a lot... traveled... then all i have to say is "you don't really know me, do u?"
so what HAVE i done?
:: i left longer-than-post comments... then left comments exclaiming how sorry i was for the long comment... then replied to the reply to my comment! all this on ONE blog!
:: i harassed ppl drowning with work to chat with me/mail me.
:: i took to FB like i never have...i did tags on FB! and tagged ppl who'd specifically asked to not be tagged!
:: i did not/still do not login to gtalk as often. and didn't miss it so much.
:: when i did login.. i caught up friends i hadn't caught up with in a while. making it that much more worth my while.
:: i ate. a lot. so much that i almost began feeling guilty for world hunger.
:: i OD'ed on television. and now can survive in rainforests, snow, live in a tent after building it, survive a grizzly attack yada yada yada...ALL theoretically, of course. i watched a LOT of what i'd call B-grade english flicks... and loved them! also caught up on x-men and potter.. back to back, that too!
:: bought a pedometer and put it to good use. for a while, at least!
:: of course, i troubled vin - who, incidentally, is extremely occupied. but that's like part of daily schedule. and we can't miss that, can we?!

so what's new? apart from the template... *feel free to comment on it too*
:: one tag a month. that rule will stay. i shall pick tags - if i get tagged - and do the one that kicks me most! if i don't get tagged, i may flick one, if i feel like. but that's upto me.
:: no daily posts unless it's rather interesting. to me, of course!
but yes, i will try to write regularly.
:: no anon comments will be published - unless i KNOW who anon is! ;) good, bad, anything. comments will be published at my discretion.
:: if you leave a comment and don't want it published, pls state so. i shall not publish it.

and of course, all rules here are subject to change. coz i change my mind pretty often. so a lot of things may be self contradictory. don't think u're very smart *yes - YOU* if you notice discrepancies in what i wrote 2 years ago and now. i've changed since. like i should have!
also, as i've mentioned sometime ago... take everything with a pinch *or a spoon* of salt. i don't take life too seriously... this blog is no exception!
and now.. back to blogging! soon.

BRB

2009-02-20T10:25:00.004-06:00

this space is taking a break.
because the author *heyy... that's what blogger calls me!* needs to find a "real" life as opposed to the virtual.

also, lack of real life leads to nothing interesting to say virtually.

i wouldn't have normally done an "official" announcement of non-blogging... but i think i owe it. to this space. to all of you who think it's worth your time to read it and comment. even those of you who don't comment... thanks for reading.
does mean a lot to me that someone out there would want to read what i write...

i will get back here. for sure.
this space has given me too much to abandon it. this is just a sabbatical.

and yes... all is well with me. i just have nothing to blog about. and i don't want to do tags or fill up this space for the sake of it anymore. have done enough of that in the past two years.

those of you who have my id/are on my FB/orkut - mail me if you wish! or leave me comments. i sure do read them/reply.

prashanti - thanks for the award, darling! appreciate it. i've done that tag already... willl fish up the link and let u know :)

hope to see y'all here soon! and yes, i MAY change the template while on a sabbatical! :D

tag of the month

2009-02-06T13:26:00.006-06:00

pick six, says pix...

so here i am.. .

what i had to do:

go to the 6th folder in my pics folder..

pick the 6th pic.

tell u a story abt it.

6th folder in my pics.. was "oman"

6th pic there was this.

this is the fort at barka *a beautiful little village just outside muscat - i think it was an hour's drive away*... made completely with mud. it's hundreds of years old *this means that i've forgotten how old it is and don't feel like googling!* and in perfectly good condition. it is not, however, open to the public anymore. *i'm guessing THAT is why it's in such impeccable condition.*

behind it are natural hot water springs. and a valley with little mud houses with absolutely gorgeous colorful doors! the valley had corpses of headless goats. to appease the evil spirits, so they *the spirits* would not devour the cattle or goats owned by the people living there.

brought back memories... this pic. been a while since i saw these pics. remembered how much i'd loved the place... and the warmth of the locals!

i tag dewdrop, purnima and galadriel... to pick one pic from their albums...and tell us the story behind it.

i want my mommy!

2009-02-05T15:01:00.004-06:00

over a period of time, this blog has lost the essence of why it was started.
the main reason this space was created was so i could confess.
not just those confessions that would entertain or amuse. but those that i refused to accept while i was in my senses.. or those that i'd never tell anyone to their faces.

coming to the point -
i still hanker for parental acceptance.
there. i've said it. publicly.

almost all my life, i made it very clear that my mom's opinions or decisions about me were not applicable to me. that i didn't care what anyone else thought. i would do exactly what i thought was right for me.
but even then, deep in my heart, i always wanted my mom to understand why i was doing what i was. of course, i was too egoistic to explain or say that to her. but i wanted her to know i cared. while putting on an act of not caring one little bit!
yeah, i never said i was an easy kid.

a lot of water has passed under the bridge from the days of "i'm not asking u, i'm telling you" and "i've already done it. look!" to "yeah, sure! i'll marry him!" today, she even understands that i do love her and will continue to, no matter what! but that's a different topic.

NOW...after all these years... i STILL need her to approve of what i do. to say nice things to me, though she may not understand or mean it! i refuse to stop being the little girl who knew that her mom would still make her fave dinner. despite the fact that she had stomped off into her room and slammed the door shut!
which is why when she tells me how unhappy she is about me "wasting my life" *translated to not working*, or how she believes i should have kids now. i get defensive and yell at her!

this morning, we had a rather heated discussion on how she thinks i should have children. after a few minutes of trying to keep my peace, i told her
"talk to vin. he's more tolerant. will hear you out. and he will say something u would like to hear"
ma: why should i talk to him?! i will talk to you only!
me: i presume that you want me to have kids with him... no?

at this point, she kind of lost her cool and told me to do as i pleased. like i always had. and that she's giving up on me. *i heard this EVERY week when i refused to get married bcoz she wanted me to. i actually missed that line.*
and then, i spent the better half of the morning sulking.
and being nasty to whoever tried to ping me on chat. and then, ultimately realized... no matter how old i am... i'm still gonna need ma to approve of what i do!

now that i'm done with the rant... lemme go burn dinner!

nuggets of vin-dom

2009-02-01T11:27:00.004-06:00

uttered in the past week. by the other half, of course.

how and why he always wanted to get married:
"i wanted to get married when i was in 3rd standard.
i thought if i get married, i won't have to study."
*this from someone doing his PhD... 2 years post marriage!!!*

on DDDs gtalk mesg of "eh kabootar, khau kya terko?"
"she should cut an album...
title it the eh kabootar series..."
*and then he went on to elaborate songs, customising them to fit the album. more on this here on her space.*

"we won't pay galadriel for singing. we won't tell her we're recording.
we'll requeshht her to sing for us... and discreetly record while she's singing.
that way, we won't have to pay her!
hee hee."
*AND, they think i won't tell her!*

on waking me up at 6.00 am every morng and finding me rather slow & grumpy. while he's rather alive and alert!
"this suits us perfectly. our IQs are at an equal.
and u don't have comebacks for everything i say!"

to his mom who asked him to stop troubling me:
"what other work do i have to do?"

on a suggestion from dewdrop that we call our dog "item"
"then what do we call her?"

on galadriel's suggestion that we call our dog "matar paneer"
"erm... what if we accidentally eat him someday?"

on him preferring dewdrop over suruchi as his moral support:
"i know suruchi would be more on my side if ever the need were to arise.
but i can't be scared of my moral support no?"
*i think dewdrop and he are hiding the fact that they're related*

on mail:
"i'll get late today... say 6/6.30?"
*he comes home EVERYDAY after 7. and this was late...?*

this sunday - when he dodged me around the chair saying "kabaddi kabaddi..." touched me and ran to the other corner saying "i got the entire team out... by myself!"
me: you DO know i can blog this, eh?
vin: you won't. if you do, then everybody will know you're not the only mad person here!
*well well... :D*

tag-time!

2009-01-30T12:28:00.003-06:00

this one's from purnima. she forgot to nag me. but i like her. so i'll still do it! :D

Q. The love potion you made tastes terrible. How will you drink it?

A. the same way i drink carrot juice. i won't.

Q. You can punch a hole in an apple using a straw. How do you think that makes your milkshake feel?

A. insecure?

Q. You've been entered in a shadow puppet contest. What's your best pose?

A. the filmfare trophy one. *what's a shadow puppet contest???*

Q. Do you believe that forks are evolved from spoons?

A. no. forks have evolved from chopsticks.

Q. Your people want to make a statue in your honor. What will it be made out of and what victory will it commemorate?

A. MY people? *tee hee!!!* it'll be made of stirrers. and will commemorate my ability to collect stirrers without becoming an alcoholic.

p.s.: there IS going to be a digital mandir made for me. the prayer/aarti is a secret. shhh...!!!

Q. In the dream where you show up to school naked, why do you never go swimming?

A. erm... our school didn't have a pool. maybe that's why?

Q. The children are waiting! Please tell them the story about the bald frog with the wig:

A. OUAT, there was a frog. he was as bald as the other frogs. he wanted to be rich & famous and was willing to do anything for it!

one day, he bought a wig. but he didn't really become the superstar of the frogs, like he'd thought he would.

so he networked a lot - bonded with the best-known names and hired a good media agency. for the next year or so, they advertised across media about how he was the BEST a frog could get. they called him "reclusive" and a "genius" and they got him international coverage.

eventually, the frogs started idolising him. and he became a star!

moral of the story: good marketing CAN make stars out of bald frogs.

Q. You have to dig a hole to China. Where do you start?

A. i start by delegating it.

p.s: from now, there'll only be one tag a month. stole THIS also from purnima!

complimentary

2009-01-20T10:05:00.002-06:00

flicked from DDD's space. i know i have a few tags and stuff pending - will get to it next week - once i'm back to regular internet speeds!

till then, to remind y'all that i aint dead yet. and to feel good abt life!
compliments received and r'bered:
you somehow manage to retain your friends, friendships and professional relationships despite being competitive to the point of cut-throat. i wish i could be like that.
(ex-colleague. during a rare heart-to-heart)

she has employers lining outside while she's interviewing with one inside.
(alas. not true anymore!)

you're one of the most secure people i've known. and i love that about u.
(dewdrop in london.)

i didn't realize it while working with you - but you're the best boss i could have ever had!

how can you be so clear about what you want to do with your life?
(an ex-friend. ages ago)

i've always admired your sanity, levelheadedness and the discipline to not spread out your emotions in a weak moment. it's extremely rare.
(one of the nicest things i've heard about me. said by someone whose opinion matters.)

there's a lot you can learn from her.
(suruchi to another colleague who was thinking of sharing a house with me)

there's still hope for her. seeing you reassures me.
(my bhabhi in austin, on realizing that her daughter has my eating habits.)

you keep me sane.
(vibs. on mail.)

b'bay will never be the same without you.
(said on two diff occasions! by vibs and suruchi)

meri beti par uski kaali parchai padi hai
(suruchi to her mom, explaining why advika has my habits. and knowing how much she loves me and advika, it IS a compliment)

you know what to say and when
(MIL, recently!)

you're the best friend one could have.
(J, in a mesg)

P.S.: compliments from Vin are not included under the purview of this post. :D

what's in your courier?

2009-01-12T14:30:00.001-06:00

i know... i've been MIA for a while.
my net's been awry. not that it's working or anything now... but regular programming shall resume soon as it behaves. pucca.
don't give up on me just yet!

am attempting to blog today - on an almost defunct connection - coz i'm just SO habby.

got my first personal courier today. yeah, i know. life sucks, eh?! over 2 years here and my first personal courier. i also psyched the courier guy. coz after i'd grinned from ear-to-ear and jumped up & down a couple of times and confirmed that "YAYY!! my package's here!!!!" he wanted to take it back *he needed to scan off the barcode apparently* and i refused to give it back to him!! he DID manage to explain to me that he would return it to me soon as he scanned it. and then, of course, i felt like an idiot! but well, i also grinned at him?

coming back to the point... the package - it had KITES!!! nice, pretty, bright... and beeeyyooootiphulll KITES! and really pretty-colored post-its! :D
AND, the reason for the courier - my speshul new year gift! from suruchi!

i've loved kites since i was 17, i think. my room always had kites on one wall. and i used to change the kites every year. even my hostel room had kites on the wall. i can't put into words HOW much it meant to find kites in that package! i guess i DO love being surprised!
and well...most of u know i love post-its! :D

thanks, suruchi... i laauuvvee u!! u made my day!
i don't know what i'd do without you!

of course, now the MIL is convinced that i have absolutely insane friends! who send kites via international courier. she gave me an extremely puzzled look! she also asked if suruchi had sent kites coz it was sankraant!!! hehehee... and then, seeing how happy i was... and HOW lost at her question, she decided to practice womanly restraint. like the time she realized that the tattoo was there. for good! :D
also, when i called suruchi and shrieked into the phone, she promptly left the house to go for a walk! i DO love her as well!

i will be at ur spaces soon to figure out what you guys have been upto!

who i am is who i wanna be...

2008-12-31T09:10:00.002-06:00

the year's seen me do some very uncharacteristic things.

- it's made me live up to my responsibilities. in ways i'd wished i never had to.

- it's helped me find a friend in someone i'd known for a long time... but never really known. and i'm glad for cliches like "it's never too late".

- i've made some good friends online. u know who you are - all of u... and i sure will catch y'all online soon! :)

- two of my now-closest pals have graduated from being blog-pals in this very year.

galadriel: i know how difficult it is to listen to me crib, whine, rave, rant and still be there for me! :D thanks, babes! MUAH!

dewdrop: u made london feel like home. fly down SOON! keep meowing! and heyy... get rid of the ramu kaka merchandise ;)

- i ran off to london. despite having said "never again" last year. fortunately, this time was a lot better!

- i questioned my own decisions. usually, the doubts are before the decisions are arrived at. not after i've decided and gone ahead. but well, there's always a first time!

- vin and i have managed to live through a lot of uncertainties. but i'm not sure the worst is past us. but i do know that it doesn't matter. that if we could tide over these two years... we should be able to tide over the next as well.

- i went ahead and got a tattoo. something i'd been too chicken to do since i was 20. and guess what - it doesn't really hurt!!

- i've realized who my friends are. and people who have their own motives behind being friends with me.

- i've begun appreciating my girl friends THAT much more.

vibs: someday, i'm gonna blog those mails we'd exchanged all those years back. makes me feel real sane today! :D

suruchi: u're probably THE person i'd turn to if i ever need to talk about anything. miss ya tonnes. and i wish i could come down to bbay. and oh, btw... vin now thinks u're on his side. but he's still scared of u! :D

- i'm looking forward to the changes anticipated next year.

on the whole, the year's been an absolute mixed bag. it went from not-so-good to uh-oh to horrible to okay to good to great... all within 12 months! they say all's well that ends well. and we're still here.. living and blogging. and the hope still survives - for a better 2009. and i'm happy with who i am... and the fact that i'm still open to change.. with myself and my life. i love the fact that i've managed to sustain the positivity despite everything that's happened. i am happy and content with the way life is shaping up. and with myself. so i guess it can't be all that bad.

here's wishing all of u have a better 2009! :)

happy holidays!

2008-12-24T10:25:00.002-06:00

ok. i'm home!
so are my bags. finally.

for the record, here's what happened:

flight landed late at boston. bad weather being the reason. at boston airport, i am told that i'd miss my flight if i don't "run across to the other terminal" REALLY?? run across?? in SNOW????

but well.. I had to get home, so i figure that's my problem. so i actually scampered across two terminals. completely failing to notice how pretty everything around was.
THEN, i'm told the flight has been delayed. not by 15 - 20 mins. by TWO hours!!!!

and while looking out at the snowed-in planes, i realize with a sinking feeling. "i'm gonna miss my connecting to houston!" i chk with the airline ppl if i can get on a later flight. wishing my bro would actually fly international routes so i can make the plane wait for me! i am told there's no later flight.

faced with the option of being stuck at dallas, i frantically call vin.
me: where are you??
vin: home. where are YOU?
me: can u come to dallas to pick me up???
vin: hehe. where are you right now?
me: i'm at boston airport. flight's delayed by over 2 hours. and i miss my connecting to houston. can u get to dallas by 8.30??
vin: yeah. of course. i can't dare leave you at dallas, can i? hehee.
me: ok. come on time. LEAVE now!

at dallas. i wait for my bags. no bags. so i run around the airport trying to locate a rep who can tell me where my bags are. *it's late. and it's the holiday season. so few reps at that hour*
at the counter:
me: *explained HOW i'd got there, gave them reqd info etc* could you tell me where my bags are?
her: *grinning at me like a cheshire cat. despite seeing that i wasn't in the mood to comprehend humour!* you'll have to call this number and press 7. they would be able to tell you.
me: you don't think YOU should call them? YOU lost my bags. i'm stranded here coz YOUR flights got delayed. and now you want me to call numbers and HOLD??
her: um.. ma'am, i would have. but it's a "customer" service number. they wouldn't speak to me.

i realized, she was serious about it. she looked a little warily at me, actually. too dumbfounded by her blondness... i DO call the number. the man there thought i'd like to chat. and asked me random details about my flights and my bags. finally, he gives me a "locator number" which i'm supposed to map online. except, they don't update their site.
awesome.

a day and a half later, no bags.
i call the number again.
i explain what has happened and give her the locator.. so she can check.
she: you came from london?!
me: yes?
she: and you missed your flight from dallas?
me: YES? *this is info i have JUST given her*
she: OMG!!! how did you get home from dallas at that hour???
me: huh? i asked to be picked up.
she: oh. then why did you not pick up your bags at dallas?

stunned silence.
she thinks i abandoned my precious bags at that airport????? do people DO that??? just like that? for FUN???

me: i WOULD have, if i COULD have. but thanks to your amazing service, my bags did NOT reach dallas. neither have they reached houston. YOU. need. to tell me. WHERE. they are! and, NOW.
she: yes ma'am. i'll just check.

ARGHH!!

finally, 4 hours later that day, my bags got home. after of course, i was made to give super-fab directions of how they could reach my house. yeah, i live here. but i can't give directions. i admit giving directions included resorting to the power of the internet! :D

and just for kicks, i checked their site, later in the evng. to realize that it still said : bags not located.

i've received the bags, but the site says they haven't found them. imagine the trauma this conflicting info would have had on me if i were as bright as their customer service rep(s). vin says i should sue them. for emotional distress.

but i'm just gonna say "happy holidays! feels good to be home. with my luggage!"

flying update

2008-12-16T14:22:00.005-06:00

yes, i know this space has been neglected. not ony did i miss it myself.. i also got ur mesgs/mails to the effect. and yeah, sorry that u couldn't comment - i couldn't either!
on one hand, i'm really glad u guys miss me... on the other, i WISH i could blog right now. i have posts in my head... but when there's so much going on... all i can hear is white noise! BUT... here's a quick update on things:

first things first - yes, this space has another look. and this one's gonna stay a while. coz i quite love it. and of course, it has been blessed by "the bhai"
thanks lavs! really appreciate the help.
and i hope YOU who read from ur blackberry and other fancy gadgets can read this fine now. gosh! the trouble i go through for u guys...! and no appreciation i hear! hmph!

dewdrop's left. and i'm missing her terribly. but the child's having fun at home. and has assured me she shall try and visit me next year.

i leave in four more days. yes. sunday night i shall step into what i've called home-turf for the past coupla years. thanks to office, i have a lovely half-way across america flight... and given my trysts with folks at airports... i shall keep you updated with airport stories, as always.

highlights of the week:
overheard in a tube - a firang asking an indian "how IS it that all of you know computers? is it like a religion, there?"

the boss called up Vin.
Vin's message to me : "the boss had called. i thought he had a job for ME. :("

a firang client calls and says "kya tum mujhey weekly top 10 send again please?"

okay... that's all.. and since i leave sunday... this also means that i will return the laptop saturday. and will be offline at least till monday.
given these are my last few days... i am kinda drowning in stuff to do before i leave... so will catch up on ur blogs & reply to comments soon as i can!

y'all be good...and in case i don't see you till then... happy holidays!

edited to add: you CAN leave comments now. thanks, lena... really! :)

mind becomes garden garden.

2008-12-05T17:45:00.005-06:00

i'm feeling very green.
it's the color i'm in right now. as in... i WANT to buy a green bag, a green jacket, a green hat... i actually eyed a green phone today... u get the picture. and i actually am liking THIS green. the one in the background - and the text.
so i've decided i'm actually fond of this look. as of now. in my sleep-deprived, overworked state.

also, none of u love me. and are not helping me find a nice template. *read - designing/mailing me something that I would fall in love with at first glance and say to you "WTF were you waiting for??"*.

do let me know what u think of the "new look". pls r'ber... when u say, u don't like... keep options ready for me to either like or turn down. if you don't have options, you can always say "hmm..." or some such politically correct thing that would allow me to publish ur comment.

and till any of you actually proves to be of help *vibs???*, this phool-patti shall remain.

p.s.: no prizes for translating the title of this post.

edited to add:
credits: galadriel loves me! or maybe she just couldn't bear the garden that this page had become. so well, she showed me the "green light". and also, very kindly edited the xml after i'd slept. what would i do without u? now go.. link me in some more posts!

other options considered were templates called "chobits", "santa & reindeer", pink diva (which G loved), "vetochick" and "rigid joy".

i love me!

2008-11-30T15:10:00.000-06:00

ok... i don't have anything of any consequence to blog... but am picking up loca's tag... and listing things i love abt myself. bcoz i want to. bcoz london's making me realize a lot of things. and fall in love. with myself. and with life. :)

i love the fact that i:
:: can smile even when i want to cry. if someone needs that smile. and they matter enough to me. and that smile will be genuine.
:: am an awesome friend to have, once u're in the inner circle. till then, it's a tad confusing... i could be rather self-centered.
:: can be, and/or seem to be, rather indifferent even while being extremely
attached to something/someone. it's not as confusing as it sounds.
:: can be rather entertaining. so if i like u. and u need ur spirits lifted. u can count on me. but well, if u're a friend, u already know that. so cross that out! :D
:: can make myself feel happy. irrespective of everyody and everything.
:: am good at networking. but i like to believe that is because i'm genuine.
:: am not ugly. and i know what suits me. and i carry off stuff rather well. yeah, i love that. i know i'm vain. so?
:: have expressive eyes. for ppl close to me, it's rather easy to know what's going on in my mind.
:: am unpredictable. yeah, despite the point above. that's coz i mostly don't know what i'm going to do till i do it. :D
:: do NOT discriminate. at ANY level.
:: know when to be modest. and when to leave that behind.
:: know how to keep ego away from my relationships.
:: am passionate about what i do for a living. and that i know, that it's not related to where i work. or what i do. it's how i do what i'm doing that matters to me.
:: am not easy. in any sense.
:: am real.

the "beast" is here as well...

2008-11-25T18:16:00.004-06:00

the beast from the "now-i'm-on-sabbatical", "now-i'm-not" galadriel is visiting. and wants me to write 6 random things about me. i'm not sure what she - galadriel, not the beast - means by that. and despite some clarifications on gtalk, i'm still confused. as to what is expected from me. but i got the words RANDOM and SIX points. and ABOUT YOU. NOT ANYONE ELSE. so, ok. here goes:

1. i have gone thru bhojpuri songs and videos. and checked for "quality". which essentially meant that 93% of them got rejected owing to visual obscenity or vulgar language or double entendre lyrics. i actually knew lyrics to bhojpuri songs. was an occupational hazard. and no, i don't do that anymore.

2. i want to go to the thames wearing a saree, carrying a ghada and fill the ghada with water. *it being london ka gangajal and all.* and play a recorded remix *the shyla lopez* version of "baahon mein chale aaaaooooo...". recorded, bcoz i can't sing. dewdrop's gonna help me with this. considering that i don't have a saree.. and don't know how to reach the water of the thames! *i can SEE the darned river... but can't get into it. not that i've tried. but still*

3. i stopped going to temples because i was wary of leaving my footwear outside. eventually, i wasn't very sure of the whole concept of "god". but i don't believe in making a scene out of it. if it pleases my mom, or my MIL, i'll do a puja. it doesn't hamper my beliefs.

4. i don't care much for shopping but can spend hours in a supermarket. or a bookstore. i love observing packaging. and i find supermarkets very interesting. i can also spend DAYS doing nothing... i can be comfortable perched at a
corner observing the world go by. and never feel like i've wasted a minute. i am also intrigued by book covers. i r'ber the covers... long after i've forgotten the contents.

5. i'm rather good at maintaining professional relationships. and no, this isn't my superiority complex talking. i really am. *any prospective employers reading?? pls read only this piece!* i am also darned good at spotting typos.

6. i remember random crap that is of no use to anyone or me... like the license plate number of dad's cousin's car. or our old landline number. or the birthdate of a remote acquaintance's kid. or the colour of the wall behind the tv in vin's sis's apartment. or the exact shade of grey that i wanted my room to be. or my first mobile phone number.

i'm supposed to restrict this piece to 6 points. there are, of course, the other points i told u offline, galadriel. but those can't be blogged. and now it's a little past mid-night. and i need to sleep.
pls feel free to take this up as a tag or drop me six random things abt u as a comment. so liberal we are, around here, these days!

all i want is...

2008-11-18T17:10:00.005-06:00

a couple days back, dewdrop asked me whether vin was the exact opposite of what i wanted in a guy.
and then we spotted some shiny blue boots and ran into a DM store. and the shiny blue boots had really icky plastic/rubber BEIGE soles... EWWW... yeah, i
know! can't even find decent footwear these days. sigh!

but well, since i didnt answer her, and i KNOW she reads this blog, i shall do it here.
if you'd asked me 10 years back, as to what i wanted in a guy, i'd say:
:: good looking. as well as well dressed.
:: intelligent.
:: good sense of humor
:: should speak GOOD english. and hindi. *i was a complete sucker for people who speak well. more so, in english. u know when mugdha godse says to piggy chops in fashion "tum small town girls ki problem kya hai? achchi english mein maang lo... kuch bhi de doge?" yeah, i used to be somewhat like that... though not that daft. i think!*
:: should be able to "understand" me. by this, i mostly meant it literally. that he should understand what i speak.
yeah, shallow i was. and condescending.

if u had asked me about 5 years back, i'd say
:: the ability to make me laugh. with him, not AT him *which happened a lot*. also, without either of us having to try too hard.
:: no potbelly, no moustache, no beard... well, not that i wanted adonis... but yeah, if we stand together, he shouldn't look like i'm trying to get back at my parents for something. if i were someone of fewer words, i'd say "presentable". but apparently, i'm not.
:: good conversation skills. the ability to "hold" a conversation. and make me seem interested. very difficult, given that i was mostly self absorbed. but that i know now... then it was amazing if a guy could get me to speak to him on topics other than work.
:: had to be able to drive a car. don't ask me why. but this WAS a valid, legit criteria.
:: should not be over-possessive and insist on me not talking to my friends bcoz they were guys. well. i knew guys like this. and i realized i did not want them! :D
:: did not have an ex gurlfriend who would then make it the purpose of her life to mail me and tell me that i had stolen her boyfriend. yes, i knew women like this too. and no, i could do without the drama. really.

but all of that changed over time... as did i. i lost some of my extreme superiority complex *lost the extreme bit, i think*. and i became a lot more human. and realized that it was okay to give people a chance. sometimes.

and then, i met vin. and i realized that i COULD indeed get a guy who undoubtedly is in a much higher league than i was. or would ever be. he was what i hoped to be, someday. of course, he doesn't know this. and i wouldn't have ever agreed to it, but still. this is confession time. and i don't lie on this space. i merely evade the truth when necessary ;)

but it was then, after meeting him, that i "knew" that as long as my guy:
:: was passionate about his work and wasn't working coz he "had to"...
:: understood that respect had to be earned. by both of us....
:: knew what he wanted. from himself. from me. from life...
:: was secure. with himself. with me. with "us"....
:: could make me smile simply by "being there"...
:: realized the importance of accepting me the way i was and giving me my time & space....
:: could hold a conversation. or make me feel comfortable with his silence...
:: loved me. enough to want me for an entire lifetime...
nothing else really mattered.

of course, factors like he didn't have a potbelly, moustache or beard, wasn't an alcoholic, spoke good english, did not wear rubber chappals on a date, knew his bollywood films... DID help his case. quite a bit.
and of course, so did his dimples!

to answer dewdrop... he may not have been what i wanted at 18. but he was - and is - everything i'll ever need. :)

billo rani... wanted!

2008-11-13T15:54:00.004-06:00

as most of u already know.. the n'bours cat stalks me.
so we *dewdrop and urs truly* decided that a good solution would be to get him married.. that way he won't have time to do these trivial things *but i can't be sure as K pointed out. one can never be too sure of males, he said* and i can enter and leave my house in peace. and on time. *had to play with the cat is my excuse for getting late, as of now*

so.. my gtalk mesg today read "need to find a bride for Chocolate"
dewdrop's status mesg read "a cat called nimbu" *no, this had NOTHING to do with mine*
so i changed mine to "will nimbu marry chocolate?"
to which dewdrop changes hers to this:
dewdropdream: A cat named Nimbu. Will Nimbu marry Chocolate? Will their kid be named Jaffa? Watch this space for 'Miaow! A Love Story of two cats in a world gone to dogs'

now i have to sue her. since i have the digital rights to that production. and she is misusing it.

after some consideration, and a serious conversation *with her, obviously* on how "nimbu & chocolate" is not a good combo.. i changed my mesg to "any1 got an eligible "biscuit"?

had an interesting conversation on this status mesg with a hitherto, somewhat sane friend, K! :D *this is reproduced here without permission. hence link to K's blog shall not be given*

K: now u wanna fix chocolate with biscuit?
me: better combo na?
nimbu chocolate... thoda weird tha! :D
K: hehehehe :D
ask for "billo rani"
me: HAHAHAHHAAA
K: and then sing
"billo rani - kaho to tumhe chocolate de doon"
me: haan.. that content is also ours! :D
K: even chocolate will be happy tht he gets the queen amongst cats
rathen than nimbu or biscuit
me: true.. very true
and mera stalker hai.. thoda standard bhi maintain ho jayega mera! :D

so that's that. and since i have work to focus on... and since i'm highly incapable of asking random cats out for other, random stalker cats... i shall do what i do next best. blog it.

p.s.: someone tag me plz? or i'm gonna continue with this inanity and then some day see how ridiculous i sound and quit blogging.
p.s.1: for the uninitiated, "billo rani" is a song featuring john & bipasha, from the Bollywood movie - GOAL. go youtube it, if u wanna see/hear it.

of this and that...

2008-11-10T15:43:00.002-06:00

i'm completely suffering from what's normally called a writer's block. no, this does not mean nothing interesting is happening in my life. or that i'm too busy to write. i'm not. and life is quite fine, thank u. what's kept me occupied..? well, few things... weekending with dewdrop, discovering a good friend in an acquaintance, chatting with people who matter, work.. amongst others.

but well, i hate seeing the same post here everytime i wanna see my own blog *that's pretty frequent.. given that i still am in love with the layout.* so i shall go ahead and rant about things that completely rile me.

a. kangna ranaut's english. no, it doesn't irritate me MOST or anything. was just top of mind. esp her trying to say "kangraychulayshuns" to ___ and his "byooteephull" bride. STOP!!!! speak in hindi. it's okay. it really is.
b. the chicks who roam around in 2 inch skirts and stockings. when it's 3 degrees outside. and i'm layered in 4 layers of clothing and shivering. HOW the hell do u pull that off!!!! tell me someone, plz!!! are there thermal stockings i'm not aware of...??
c. the guy on the train who believes that everybody else in the compartment would like to listen to "mundian te bachke rahi". in london. plug the damn thing in ur ear! or at least update ur taste in music to today's day and age.
d. ppl who think they deserve to be respected for their age and wisdom. pls prove the latter. i shall respect u.
e. ppl behaving snooty and looking down on everything that's saleable. YOU don't like it. fine. stop insisting that everything that's commercial is crap. it's not. it earns a lot of ppl their livelihood. and entertains a lot more people. unlike what u do. nobody's forcing it down ur throat, u know? so, scoot!
f. intellectual innocence. genuine daftness. whatever u call it. i just wish i could stay away from it. and those that display it proudly. SIGH.
g. ppl who insist that the iPhone is "awesome". go, get a life! it isn't. it doesn't deserve anymore space on my blog than it already has. and no, i don't care that this makes me seem less kewl. suits me fine.
h. guys who don't understand that NO is an answer. and that usually means they shouldn't ask for what they already did. the answer will not change if u repeat the question. i do have tremendous amounts of patience. i may, however, block u if i run out of it.
i. people who fold books and attempt to read them. it hurts me to watch. i feel like snatching the book from their hands, straightening it out and telling them how to read.
j. intrusive questions. unless u're close to me and i do discuss my life with u - on media other than this blog - u do NOT need to know anything about me. least of all about my job or when i'm going to have kids. my husband doesn't care as much as u do about my biological clock. so pls find someone a li'l more tolerant. and don't call me arrogant for not entertaining u.
k. ppl who AFTER being messaged on chat immediately revert with an "are u there?" NO. that was the ghost in my room buzzing u from my id. whatchoo gonna do??

oh yeah, btw..there's a ghost in this apartment. *and no, it's not me - for any of u who wished to suggest that. HAHA. funny. yeah, right!* the door opened by itself late on sat night - dewdrop's witness to that.
this morning, the washing machine started automatically. i asked the flat-mate if she'd set it... and she hadn't. there were no clothes in it, after all. so yeah.. am kinda spooked out.

what did u say again...?

2008-11-03T10:25:00.005-06:00

it has been proven. my friends are mad. all of them. also, they're REALLY entertaining. so reproducing chats - mostly with permission. suruchi/vibs... i don't need ur permission :P

me: how old is she?
X: 24
me: child marriage!! heyy bhagwaan!!!!
X: arre no, i am actually one year younger
me: what? as compared to...???
X: than my official age.
eh? ever heard of anyone like this?

suruchi: are u allowed to legally keep pubs at home there?
me: PUBS? u mean CUBS, right? well...
typos are an interesting way of life now... :)

A: when're u having kittens, catty?
me: not yet. but will let u know. y the sudden concern?
A: then i'll gift them a yarn of wool.
dewdrop's addition to this conversation:
when they're kittens, they can play with it. once they grow up, u can knit mittens for ur kittens.
conveniently forgetting that I can really not knit. and my kittens will be human!

me: main tumpar book likhungi
J: likho. it will be a bestseller. loyalty mujhe dena
me: ???
uncertain pause.
me: loyalty u have. Royalty, i'll pay u.
hmm.. forgetting R is just not done, is it?

me: arre the n'bours cat - chocolate - stalks me, u know.
A: he must be discussing with his friends over a pint of milk at the cat-bar later... of how there's this hot indian cat who's shifted into the building.
me: yeah right! arre he's scary.
A: poor chocolate. you'd make a great couple, u know... chocolate and rayshma.
me: hahaa... u've lost it!
A: purrfect pair. it'll make a great movie also.
me: ???
A: presenting... a love story of 2 cats, in a world that's gone to the dogs.
me: hahaa! u're gonna make it?
A: yeah. and i'll get pussycat dolls and snoop dogg for the soundtrack.
i should've pitched for digital rights! ;)

i get a mail from J saying "am online, login?" so i do.
me: am so happy u're online! :)
J: 4 minutes.
me: what?
J: i'm online for 4 mins.
WTF!!!

me: i was watching chocolate *refer above* attempt to stalk a bird today.
dewdrop: then what happened?
me: by the time he could move, the bird had flown off. going by his size, he should hunt deer.
dewdrop: hehe... what would u do if he'd caught the bird?
me: well, nothing. what did u think?
dewdrop: you could have snatched the bird from him actually.
okkk....

Vibs: WHERE are the skimpy clothes u are giving me?
me: arre i have to die for u to get them.
Vibs: oh. i thought because u're in london u're giving them away.
me: no no... later. there'll be more till then.
vibs: i'll wait, then.
silence...
me: :(
vibs: not for u to die, idiot!!!
well, anyone who thought otherwise here???